Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, February 4 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Woman stabbed her lover after he refused a threesome with her and another woman. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 4 in 1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities with its former colonies, the United States of America. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.' --- Frederick L Collins ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This one came back from Tim I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow- covered area. The pilot descended to just a couple hundred feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm. "I wonder why he didn't land," I said. "He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed," the man said. As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. "It looks plowed to me," I commented. "No," my seat mate said. "It hasn't been cleared for some time." "How can you tell?" I asked. "Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives the snow plow." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ John and Bob were two of the bitterest golf rivals at the club. Neither man trusted the others arithmetic. One day they were playing a heated match and watching each other like hawks. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the scorecard, John asked Bob, "What'd you have?" Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. "Six!" he said and then hastily corrected himself. "No--a five." Calmly John marked the scorecard, saying out loud "Eight!" "Eight?" Bob said, "I couldn't have had eight." John said, "Nope, you claimed six, then changed it to five. But actually you had seven." "Then why did you mark down eight?" asked Bob. John told him, "One stroke penalty, for improving your LIE." ______________________________________________________ Let's try this again without Spanish characters, that caused problems for some people's browsers: >From FB ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by (Old glamor pix) Teresa M Gillard, 42, Lake Havasu, Arizona Woman stabbed her lover after he refused a threesome with her and another woman Teresa M Gillard, 42, of Lake Havasu City in Mohave County, Arizona, has been accused of stabbing her boyfriend with a pair of scissors after she wanted him to take part in sex with her and another woman she had met earlier that day in a dog park, the News-Herald reported. Gillard allegedly told Havasu City Police Department that she told her boyfriend that she wanted to invite her new female friend over for the threesome, which she and her boyfriend have always talked about doing. However, according to Gillard, her boyfriend whom she has been dating on-and-off since 2008 did not want to have a threesome because he wasnt feeling well. The pair began arguing before Gillard is alleged to have attacked her lover with a pair of scissors. While warding her off he got stabbed in the arm and abdomen. Police stated that the victim only suffered minor injuries. Gillard faces felony charges for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and disorderly conduct with a weapon per domestic violence. It was Gilalrd who called the police after the victim locked her out of his home and accused him of beating her up. She got back into the property once and the physical altercation continued before she was locked out a second time. Gillard is now in custody at Mohave County Jail in Kingman, Arizona. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: How to get rid of AdAware? Dear Webby I am having a problem with the AdAware installer. I have purged my computer of every instance of AdAware that I can find. Every time I right click on an icon, the AdAware installer wants to install AdAware. I click cancel, then I have to continue pressing cancel before it gives up. Sometimes it will hang the computer. On searching the internet, it was suggested installing a context menu editor. Sounds good, but I hate to install a program to get rid of another program. What do you think? Thanks. Bill Dear Bill AdAware has been somewhere between a well known problem and a Bloody Nuisance for at least ten years. There are many un- install programs available on the net. It is almost a cottage industry! You also have to get rid of anything to do with Lavasoft. They will re-infect your computer. Do that first. UNinstall anything related to Lavasoft. Then use your Everything searcher and search for unwise in any directory related to Lavasoft or AdAware. Run that. It is an UNinstaller. Then use Everything to search for lavasoft adaware and each time, when it finds something, delete it. If you are one of the poor disadvantaged newbies, who vegetate in the dark without the Everything searcher, get it quickly at http://www.voidtools.com/ After that, dump any and all folders, that have lavasoft or adaware in the name. That should do the trick. The tiny Everything searcher program is most definitely a keeper. You will soon love it and find it as indispensable as a lot of us do. The first time you run it, it is a bit slow, while it catalogs all your drives. After that it will be blazingly fast, even with Terabyte external drives filled with sexy poultry and prayer pictures. Have FUN! DearWebby >From Fran: I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor hold me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak. The nurse patted my hand and said, "Don't worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure." "You're right. I'm being silly," I said, "Please continue." "Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will? And who should we contact in case you don't wake up?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fight Grease With Grease By pho1608 [1 Post] Don't spend money on expensive de-greasers and don't inhale toxic ammonia. Take 1 part mineral or vegetable oil to 2 parts baking soda. This makes the perfect cleanser for greasy cupboards. With a little rubbing, this gets even the most gummy build-up. For greasy film on the oven hood, just drop some oil on a paper towel and wipe it clean. This technique is so effective, I now keep a spray bottle with mineral oil to clean the gucky grease. ____________________________________________________ Overheard at the bus stop - Coed A: "My roommate hogs the TV!" - Coed B: "My roommate keeps borrowing my makeup without asking!" - Coed C: "My roommate keeps stealing my boyfriends before I'm done using them!" ___________________________________________________ | | Movie effects in the silent film era. |
Jill had wanted new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her mother for two weeks, and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that beautiful new cabinets had been installed in her kitchen. A few days later, a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen." Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today on February 4 1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities with its former colonies, the United States of America. 1789 Electors unanimously chose George Washington to be the first president of the United States. 1824 J.W. Goodrich introduced rubber galoshes to the public. 1847 In Maryland, the first U.S. Telegraph Company was established. 1861 Delegates from six southern states met in Montgomery, AL, to form the Confederate States of America. 1895 The Van Buren Street Bridge opened in Chicago, IL. 1904 The Russo-Japanese War began after Japan laid siege to Port Arthur. 1913 Louis Perlman received a patent for his demountable tire-carrying rims. 1932 The first American Winter Olympics were held in the United States at Lake Placid, NY. 1936 Radium E. became the first radioactive substance to be produced synthetically. 1945 During World War II, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a conference at Yalta to outline plans for what to do with Germany after they finish bombing it back into the stone age. 1948 Ceylon gained independence within the British Commonwealth. The country later became known as Sri Lanka. 1957 Smith-Corona Manufacturing Inc., of New York, began selling portable electric typewriters. The first machine weighed 19 pounds. 1968 The world's largest hovercraft was launched at Cowes, Isle of Wight. 1973 The Reshef was unveiled as Israel's missile boat. 1974 Patricia (Patty) Hearst was kidnapped in Berkeley, CA, by the Symbionese Liberation Army. 1976 An earthquake in Guatemala and Honduras killed more than 22,000 people. 1985 U.S. President Ronald Reagan's defense budget called for a tripling of the expenditure on the "Star Wars" research program. 1993 Russian scientists unfurled a giant mirror in orbit and flashed a beam of sunlight across Europe during the night. Observers saw it as a momentary flash. 1997 A civil jury in California found O.J. Simpson liable in the death of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Goldman's parents were awarded $8.5 million in compensatory damages. 1997 Two Israeli troop-carrying helicopters collided on their way to Lebanon, all 73 soldiers and airmen aboard were killed. 1997 President Milosevic of Serbia surrendered to the will of his people, ordering his government to recognize opposition victories in local elections held in November 1996. 1997 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 600th National Hockey League (NHL) goal during his 719th game. Lemieux reached the milestone second fastest in history. Gretzky had reached the plateau during his 718th game. 1998 In northeast Afghanistan, at least 5,000 people were killed in an earthquake that measured 6.1 on the Richter Scale. 1999 Warplanes from Israel attacked south Lebanon just after rockets were fired toward Israel. No casualies were claimed on either side. 1999 Gary Coleman was sentenced to a $400 fine, a suspended 90-day jail sentence, and ordered to attend 52 anger- management classes. The sentence stemmed from Coleman assaulting an autograph seeker on July 30, 1998. 1999 Amadou Diallo, an unarmed West African immigrant, was shot and killed in front of his Bronx home by four plainclothes New York City police officers. The officers had been conducting a nighttime search for a rape suspect. 2000 Austrian President Thomas Klestil swore in a coalition government that included Joerg Haider's far-right Freedom Party. European Union sanctions were a result of the action. 2003 Yugoslavia was formally dissolved by lawmakers. The country was replaced with a loose union of its remaining two republics, Serbia and Montenegro. 2004 The social networking website Facebook.com was launched. 2017 Do smiled. |
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