Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, February 17 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 17, in 1933, Blondie Boopadoop married Dagwood Bumstead three years after Chic Young's popular strip first debuted. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award NY child missing since 2019, found hidden under staircase ___________________________________________________ At least half the mystery novels published violate the law that the solution, once revealed, must seem to be inevitable. --- Raymond Chandler (1888 - 1959) The universe may have a purpose, but nothing we know suggests that, if so, this purpose has any similarity to ours. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. --- Dale Carnegie ___________________________________________________ The young construction worker was boasting that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of his older co-workers. Finally, the old guy decided he'd had enough and said to the youngster, "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is? I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart said. "Let's see you do your stuff!" The old man reached out and grabbed a wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in." ___________________________________________________ When a guy's printer began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually, it is my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make a LOT more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first." ____________________________________________________ Sailesh Jain 157-Year-Old Shipwreck Hull in Australia Transforms Into Floating Forest With Mangrove Trees. ____________________________________________________ [a] The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. [b] On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. [c] Conclusion: Eat what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. That reminds me..... Because of the anti-smoking propaganda and restrictive laws, the percentage of the population that smokes has decreased. Now, if there was any relation between smoking and cancer, the percentage of people who get cancer should theoretically have decreased at exactly the same rate. It didn't. It INCREASED! OK, so what HAS increased at the same rate as cancer ? Taxes on tobacco products. Kinda makes you think, eh ? ================================================ At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, "How on earth did you do that?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You have to know the bus schedule." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kirk Sultis Jr., 32 (left) and Kimberly Cooper Kimberly Cooper and Kirk Shultis Jr., Saugerties, New York, USA NY child missing since 2019, found hidden under staircase Police in Saugerties found a small secret room under a staircase inside a home. Inside the room, officers found Paislee Shultis, a girl who has been missing since 2019. Police say they saw a section of a staircase that appeared odd to them. A detective shined a light into a crack and saw what appeared to be a blanket. They removed several steps and found Paislee and 33-year-year-old Kimberly Cooper in a small room under the stairs. The space was described as "small, cold and wet" according to local media. Police say that the girl appeared to be in good health. "It was very uplifting that this case culminated in the fashion that it did, where the child was recovered unharmed," Saugerties Police Chief Joseph Sanagra said, adding that it doesn't appear that she was abused. Cooper was arrested and charged with custodial interference and endangering the welfare of a child. Kirk Sultis Jr., 32, and Kirk Shultis Sr., 57, were charged with felony custodial interference and endangering the welfare of a child. Both Shultis Sr. and Jr. were arraigned in the Town of Saugerties Justice Court and released on their own recognizance. Cooper was remanded to the Ulster County Jail. Stay-Away Orders of Protection were issued by the court against all three defendants. Paislee Shultis has been handed over to her legal guardian and was reunited with her older sister. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Sanna Re: How do I do a bulk delete of Gmail? Dear Webby I use the trick you showed us for deleting the oldest 100 Gmails, but I need bigger ammo. Is there such a thing? Please! Sanna Dear Sanna Yes, there is! They WOULD prefer if you buy extra space, but you can still use this old trick. Go up to the top and find the search bar. Type in: older_than:5y (You can of course use any year number) Hit Enter and wait. Eventually all the old stuff will show up. Click the SELECT ALL square at the left top. Once they are all selected, hit DELETE. Confirm that, and they are invisible. Not gone, just invisible. They really WOULD prefer if you bought extra space! Now select TRASH, and look for the line about dumping ALL the trash. The "Used / Free" numbers at the bottom have not changed. They are really desperate for you to buy more space! OK, next shut down Gmail, wait a few minutes, and start it up again. NOW the "Used / Free" numbers are updated and show what you actually have. Congratulations, Sanna! Have FUN! DearWebby "How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan. He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. "Come on, now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It's not that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "All the beer is in the boat on my trailer!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Two city swingers were walking in the country when one of them spotted a bug walking across the road. "What kind of bug is that?" he asked his companion. The companion leaned over and looked at the bug. "It's a Lady bug." The first man looked at the bug again, then at his friend, and said: "Man, you sure got good eyes." ______________________________________________ A missionary heard about a native who had five wives. He paid a visit to the native's hut, and sure enough there were five wives. The two men sat outside the hut and talked. The missionery said "You are violating a law of God. Man can only have one wife, so you must go and tell four of those women that they can no longer live here or consider you their husband." The native thought a few moments, then said, "I'll wait here. You tell 'em." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
[a] The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. [b] On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. [c] Conclusion: Eat what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. That reminds me: Because of the anti-smoking propaganda and restrictive laws, the percentage of the population that smokes has decreased. Now, if there was any relation between smoking and cancer, the percentage of people who get cancer should theoretically have decreased at exactly the same rate. It didn't. It INCREASED! OK, so what HAS increased at the same rate as cancer ? Taxes on tobacco products. Kinda makes you think, eh ? By the way, I ended 50 years of smoking in February 2011. Have not smoked a single cigarette since. Due to decrease in earnings, my taxes got reduced, and I do not have cancer. Or Covid. ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 17, in 1801, the u.S. House of representatives broke an electoral tie between thomas jefferson and aaron burr. Jefferson was elected president and burr became vice president. 1817, the first gaslit streetlights appeared on the streets of baltimore, md. 1865, columbia, sc, burned. The confederates were evacuating and the union forces were moving in. 1876, julius wolff was credited with being the first to can sardines. 1878, in san francisco, ca, the first large city telephone exchange opened. It had only 18 phones. 1897, the national congress of mothers was organized in washington, dc, by alice mclellan birney and phoebe apperson hearst. It was the forerunner of the national pta. 1924, swimmer johnny weissmuller set a world record in the 100-yard freestyle. He did it with a time of 57-2/5 seconds in miami, fl. 1933, blondie boopadoop married dagwood bumstead three years after chic young's popular strip first debuted. 1934, the first high school automobile drivers education course was introduced in state college, pa. 1944, during world war ii, the battle of eniwetok atoll began. U.S. Forces won the battle on february 22, 1944. 1947, the voice of america began broadcasting to the soviet union. 1964, the u.S. Supreme court ruled that congressional districts within each state had to be approximately equal in population. (Westberry v. Sanders) 1992, in milwaukee, serial killer jeffrey dahmer was sentenced to life in prison. In november of 1994, he was beaten to death in prison. 1995, colin ferguson was convicted of six counts of murder in the december 1993 long island rail road shootings. He was later sentenced to a minimum of 200 years in prison. 1996, world chess champion garry kasparov beat the ibm supercomputer "deep blue" in philadelphia, pa. 2005, u.S. President george w. Bush named john negroponte as the first national intelligence director. 2021 Do smiled. |
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