Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, September 20 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ____________________________________________________ Today, September 20 in 1995 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to drop the national speed limit. This allowed the states to decide their own speed limits. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you lcan help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Woman Set Fire Trying To Burn Ex's Love Letters _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. --- Lillian Carter, in her 80s The human mind is easily fooled. We believe what we want to believe and recognize only those facts which conform to that belief. --- Francis Bacon Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arrising from contem- plating the misery of another." --- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary _______________________________________________ You are on the bus when you suddenly realize ... you need to fart. The music playing is really loud, so you time your farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, you start to feel better as you approach your stop. As you are leaving the bus, people are really staring at you, and that's when you realize you have been listening to your ipod. ________________________________________________` Loaded for Beto. ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ariauna Lillard, 19, Lincoln, Nebraska Woman Set Fire Trying To Burn Ex's Love Letters The next time Ariauna Lillard decides to destroy some love letters from an ex-boyfriend, she will probably opt for a shredder, not a small butane torch. The 19-year-old Nebraska woman set a fire in her Lincoln apartment Monday afternoon that caused $4000 in damage, according to police. Investigators say Lillard (seen at right) attempted to torch a small batch of love notes, but when the paper did not appear to catch on fire, she placed the notes on a bedroom carpet and proceeded to take a nap. What Lillard did not realize was that the letters apparently were smoldering as she dozed off. Her sleep was subsequently disrupted by the sound of a smoke detector going off in the third-floor apartment. Lillard awoke to the bedroom carpet in flames. Lillard, who was alone in the residence, escaped without any injuries, and the flames were quickly doused by Lincoln firefighters. The fire did not damage any other units in the rental complex. Cited for negligent burning, Lillard is scheduled for an October 16 court appearance. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Amy Re: How do I dump auto replies? Dear Webby, you keep mentioning mailWasher. would that work to weed out mail from people, whom I need to keep in my white-list? I am at the West coast, so naturally some of my replies to the East coast office arrive there after their working hours. I really don't give a hoot whether they read their mail immediately, they never do anyway. I don't want to blacklist the silly ninnies, all I want to do is weed out their automatic replies, whenever they have gone potty or are not at their desk. Amy Dear Amy No problem at all with MailWasher. You simply make a filter that dumps anything with "auto" in the subject line. None of the ninnies are smart enough to change the subject line anyway, and if one of them does, use some different wording, it is easy enough to add that to the filter. It's takes about 30 seconds to make a filter in MailWasher, a lot faster than adding chlorine to the gene pool. Playing with the filters turns into a brain game. The universe keeps creating new and dumber idiots, and you have to occasionally add new filters or adjust old ones. But YOU always win! Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Miss Prissy was going over Melvin's records with his anxious parents. On one page was the statement, "Melvin used fowl language today." Mr. Messpot, hoping to put the teacher in a bad light, snickered, "Ha! You spelled foul wrong." Miss Prussy corrected, "No, I meant F-O-W-L. Your child called me a 'dumb cluck' ." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
One evening as a family was eating dinner, the mother knowing that her young son Johnnie had been telling lot's of lies as of late, announced that she had made arrangements for her son to go over to talk to their priest. The priest had a good reputation for helping people who were compulsive liars. The mother asks her son if he would go over to the parsonage to see the priest. So Johnnie being a very helpful kid went over. At answering the door the priest ask Johnnie if he was at church Sunday, of course he lied and said yes. "Well," said the priest, "I guess you seen what happened at church on Sunday?""Yes" said Johnnie lying. "Well I guess you saw that big grizzly bear come through the front door and up the aisle grabbing people from their seats and eating them alive?" "Yeah" said Johnnie. "Well I guess you saw that little dog come in right behind him, and stare down that grizzly right in the middle of the church?" "Yeah" said Johnnie, lying again. After a few moments of silence the priest finally looked Johnnie straight in the eye and ask Johnnie if he honest to God believed that story. Johnnie replied, without a quiver, "I sure do preacher, that was my Dog!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Nonstick Meatloaf With Bacon Here's a tasty way to keep meatloaf from sticking to the pan. Line your pan with a couple strips of bacon before putting the meatloaf in the pan. It's not cheap, but it sure tastes good. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Spectacular Photos From The Revamped Hubble Telescope |
___________________________________________________ A pastor was speaking to a group of second-graders about the resurrection of Jesus when one student asked, "What did Jesus say right after He came out of the grave?" The pastor explained that the Gospels do not tell us what He said. The hand of one little girl shot up. "I know what He said: He said, 'Tah-dah!'" ___________________________________________________ One of my customers at the department of motor vehicles wanted a personalized license plate with his wedding anniversary on it. As we completed the paperwork he ex- plained, "This way I can't forget the date." A few hours later, I recognized the same young man waiting in my line. When his turn came, he said somewhat sheepishly, "I need to change the numbers on that plate application." ___________________________________________________ I was waiting tables in a noisy lobster restaurant in Maine when a vacationing Southerner stumped me with a drink order. I approached the bartender. "Have you ever heard of a drink called 'Seven Young Blondes'?" I asked. He admitted he'd never heard of it, and grabbed a drink guidebook to look it up. Unable to find the recipe, he then asked me to go back and tell the patron that he'd be happy to make the drink if he could list the ingredients for him. "Sir," I asked the customer, "can you tell me what's in that drink?" He looked at me like I was crazy. "It's wine," he said, pro- nouncing his words carefully, "Sauvignon blanc." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, September 20 in 1519 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain to find a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia. Magellan was killed during the trip, but one of his ships eventually made the journey. 1870 The Papal States came under the control of Italian troops, leading to the unification of Italy. 1884 The Equal Rights Party was formed in San Francisco, CA. 1962 James Meredith, a black student, was blocked from enrolling at the University of Mississippi by Governor Ross R. Barnett. Meredith was later admitted. 1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy proposed a joint U.S.-Soviet expedition to the moon in a speech to the U.N. General Assembly. 1967 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was launched. It went out of service on November 27, 2008. 1977 The first of the "boat people" arrived in San Francisco from Southeast Asia under a new U.S. resettlement program. 1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan announced that the U.S., France, and Italy were going to send peacekeeping troops back to Beirut. 1989 F.W. de Klerk was sworn in as president of South Africa. 1991 U.N. weapons inspectors left for Iraq in a renewed search for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. 1995 AT&T announced that it would be splitting into three companies. The three companies were AT&T, Lucent Technologies, and NCR Corp. 1995 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to drop the national speed limit. This allowed the states to decide their own speed limits. 2019 Do smiled. |
|
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to [email protected]
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
[email protected]
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter . | Search the web for:
Recommended Resources Find a human
Bypass voice menus
Web Tools
handy program downloads
SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial
This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still The Best
spam control Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE
Babelfish Translator Converter Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters
Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE
This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery? SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price! Roboform, still the best password manager.
Still FREE
Highly recommended by DearWebby
FREE, no fuss download!
Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!
YOUR OWN
Postcard Site ! You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder: Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby
Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.
Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
That could be YOUR ad for $50 per week.
Subscribers only!
Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras
Thesaurus
NASA Multimedia Gallery Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web
Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events
Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite
Do, Please Feed
Dear Webby!
Privacy Policy
Unique visitors since 1/1/11
Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada |
| Subscribe | Give a Gift Subscription | Unsubscribe
Click here for Large Print
|
|
