Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, October 10 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Dad Wouldn't Let cops break window to save toddler _____________________________________________________ Today, October 10 in 1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. _____________________________________________________ Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) _____________________________________________________ Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had been at school all week. They decided to visit the elephant cage, but soon enough, they were picked up by a cop for causing a commotion. The officer hauled them off to security for questioning. The supervisor in charge asked them to give their names and tell what they were doing at the elephant cage. The first boy innocently said, "My name is Gary, and I was just throwing peanuts into the elephant cage." The second added, "My name is Larry, and all I was doing was throwing peanuts into the elephant cage." The third boy was a little shaken up and said, "Well, my name is Peter, but my friends call me Peanuts." _____________________________________________________   Roy Millar, Priddis, Alberta ___________________________________________________ The following are new Windows messages that are under consideration for the planned Windows 12: 1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue. 2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit. 3. Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE! 4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner. 5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game? 6. Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)" 7. This is a message from God Gates: "Rebooting the world. Please log off." 8. To "shut down" your system, type "WIN" 9. BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding. 10. COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key. 11. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N) 12. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User. 13. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N) 14. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS) 15. User Error: Replace user. 16. Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)" 17. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way. ___________________________________________________ Reported by Ginger  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Sidney Deal, 27, Las Vegas, Nevada USA 
 Dad Wouldn't Let cops break window to save toddler 
 A 27-year-old Nevada man is charged with refusing to allow his car windows to be broken when his 1-year-old daughter was locked insideleading to the toddler's death. Officers say that on Monday afternoon Sidney Deal got in a fight with his girlfriend, who asked him and his daughter to leave her place. He allegedly put his daughter in the car and started it, then went back and continued arguing with his girlfriend for 15 minutes. Upon leaving again, he realized he had locked his keys inside the car; he then asked his girlfriend to call his insurance company, but told her to end the call when he didn't like the price given to send out a locksmith, the Las Vegas Sun reports. He finally flagged down police officers after the girl had been in the car 42 minutes, police say, but he refused to let them break his windows to get her out, saying he could not afford the damage. He at one point also called his brother, who came to the scene and tried to convince him to allow him to break a window, to no avail, KTNV reports. Deal, who said his daughter was walking around the car until she laid down on the floor, insisted the air conditioning was on and she was fine. He thought she'd gone to sleep, but when authorities finally did break the window after what they estimate was more than an hour since she'd been placed in the car, she was already in rigor mortis. Deal has been charged with child abuse or neglect causing substantial bodily harm. His mother tells 8 News Now her son truly believed his daughter would be OK in the air conditioning.  
 DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ovid RE: Voice mail   Dear Webby, It seems more and more telemarketers are abusing my voice mail, especially the Dementos! How do you deal with them? Ovid  Dear Ovid Yes, they are afraid I would tell them what to do to a Billy Goat, or squeak my rubber ducky at them. Voice mail is no problem for me. I have not checked it for four or more decades and guess it filled up a long time ago. When I hear the crackle that indicates a telemarketer used a robo-dialler to find a number, that is active, I click off. When a caller asks if I am DearWebby, or any of my names, then I know already that it is a telemarketer asking to be insulted. So I do. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 Benign What you be after you be eight. Bacteria Back door to cafeteria. Barium What you do with dead folks. Catscan Searching for the cat. Coma A punctuation mark. Fester Quicker than someone else. Fibula A small lie. Hangnail What you hang your coat on. Labor Pain Getting hurt at work. Morbid A higher offer than I bid. Nitrates Cheaper than day rates. Secretion Hiding something. Tablet A small table to change babies on. Seizure Roman emperor. Terminal Illness Getting sick at the train station. Tumor More than one. Varicose Near by. ____________________________________________ A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English, these words were of neutral gender. Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. One group was composed of the women in the class, and the other of men. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: 1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless. 3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model. The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending your paycheck on accessories for it. ____________________________________________ A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian." ____________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today October 10 in 1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD. 1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 1886 The tuxedo dinner jacket made its U.S. debut in New York City. 1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries under Sun Yat-sen. 1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of the Gamboa Dike that ended the construction of the Panama Canal. 1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 1938 Nazi Germany completed its annexation of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president of China. 1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the official had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the first global airline service. 1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts" comic strip. 1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of British rule. 1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. He set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in reaction to a military coup that forced President Jean-Claude Aristide into exile. 1994 Lt. Gen. Raoul Cedras resigned as Haiti's commander-in- chief of the army and pledged to leave the country. 1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush presented a list of 22 most wanted terrorists. 2003 Rush Limbaugh announced that he was addicted to painkillers and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 2020 Do smiled. 
 

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