Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, January 2 Bright Supermoon! But still cold out. Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Wisconsin Man arrested after he threw beer bottle at bartender for putting on christmas music Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, January 2 in 1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Linda A relative called and asked me if I could loan her $400 to help her pay her rent. I told her...give me a minute let me check my account and I'll call you right back." Before I could check my funds, my aunt called and said, "Don't give her any money because she's lying". My aunt proceeded to tell me that she wants to use that $400 to get her boyfriend out of jail because she wants to be under the same roof with him for the holidays!!! So I thought about it for a minute, and decided to go ahead and give her the $400. I called and said, "Come on, I got you." A couple hours later, I got a call from the County Jail, and it was her... "Why did you give me counterfeit money?!" I replied with the best answer I could: "So you and your boyfriend would be under the same roof for the holidays. You're welcome." ____________________________________________________ Fromm Betty I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist when I noticed his diploma hanging on the wall. It bore his full name and I suddenly remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name. He had been in my high school class some 40-odd years before and I wondered, "Could he be the same guy I had a secret crush on way back then?" When I got into the treatment room I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was much too old to have been my secret crush... or was he? After he examined my teeth I asked if he had attended Morgan Park High School. "Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang!" He said, gleaming with pride. "When did you graduate?" I asked. "1959. Why do you ask?" he answered. "Well, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. To which the ugly, old, wrinkled jerk asked, "What did you teach?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ ____________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants. _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver, for reporting this: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Gamboeck, 33, Madison, Wisconsin Wisconsin Man Throws Beer Bottle at Bartender for Putting on Christmas Music A man in Madison, Wisconsin, was arrested after he threw a beer bottle at a bartender who changed music in the bar from Black Sabbath to a Christmas tune, according to police. Officers came to Farm Tavern Bar at 1701 Moorland Road just before 4 p.m. last Thursday over a report of a disturbance and determined the suspect left the bar, police said in a release posted Monday. An officer spoke to many patrons of the bar and identified the suspect as Christopher Gamboeck, calling him intoxicated and violent, according to police. The 33-year-old was upset because the bartender changed the music in the bar from Black Sabbath to Christmas music. Gamboeck chugged his glass bottle of Budweiser beer, and slammed it down on the counter, according to the release. He threw a bottle of beer in the direction of the female bartender's head after he yelled expletives at her, the release stated. Other patrons in the bar prevented Gamboeck from going behind the counter as he circled the bar with his fists clenched, according to the release. His uncle eventually intervened and directed Gamboeck to the door. He left the bar, but pulled down a Christmas tree and broke several delicate ornaments, according to police. Police came to his residence and he rushed toward officers, the release said. He was threatened with a Taser before he was taken to custody. He said gender-based obscenities toward a female officer before he was taken to Dane County Jail. Gamboeck is facing disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property charges. His attorney information wasn't immediately available. Resisting arrest may be added later. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Leesa Re: saving pictures from PPS Dear Webby, I see someone else has questions about PPS files today, so thought I'd ask you about this one. I love these pictures, and would like to use them as my desktop wall paper..... one at a time, of course. How can I save them individually into my wallpaper folder? Obviously, I can't right click 'cause the save option isn't there. Appreciate your help, again. Have a wonderful day. Leesa Dear Leesa You need a graphics program like for example PSP (PaintShopPro) for that. Open that, then open the PPS slide show. When you get to a picture that you want, hit the PrintScreen key. That prints the picture into the clipboard. Then use ALT ESC to jump to PSP, hit CTRL V to paste the clipboard as a new picture. Save the picture to your Wallpaper folder and zoom the view down to thumbnail size. (Just the view, not the picture size.) ALT ESC back to the PPS slide show, proceed until you get to the next picture that you want, and repeat the procedure. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "Nope," he replied, "Arthritis." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand-new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read: MAIN ENTRANCE. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Carry Extra Zip-Lock Bags When Traveling When you travel, throw in a few extra zip-lock bags. They are great for wet swimsuits, a half-full bottle of shampoo, some animal crackers for the car, or even to fill with ice at the motel to use in the cooler while you drive. - Kate Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com font> I also use them for e-tickets, maps, map-quest print-outs, and rental car paperwork. When hiking, I use them for keeping the camera dry in sudden rain squalls, and quite often I have filled them with berries or mushrooms I found on route. DearWebby ____________________________________________________ Keli was having trouble with her computer. So she called Paul, the computer guy, over to her desk. Paul clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Keli called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And Paul replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error." A puzzled expression ran riot over Keli's face. "An ID Ten T Error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again??" Paul gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?" "No," replied Keli. "Write it down," Paul said, "and I think you'll figure it out." (She wrote...) I D 1 0 T She did not seem to like him after that. | | Ancient roadways in France and England. |
The nurse was walking down the hospital corridor when her supervisor spotted her. The supervisor couldn't believe it: The nurses hair was unkempt, her dress wrinkled, and to top off her overall dishevelment, one of her breasts was hanging out of the open front of her uniform! "MISS JENNINGS! How can you account for parading around the hospital not only looking like a derelict, but with your breast exposed!" "Oh," said the nurse, as she stuffed her breast into her uniform, "It's those darn interns! They NEVER put anything back when they're through using it!" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, January 2, in 1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II and Queen Isabella I. 1842 In Fairmount, PA, the first wire suspension bridge was opened to traffic. 1859 Erastus Beadle published "The Dime Book of Practical Etiquette." 1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon Church, was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives. 1879 Thomas Edison began construction on his first generator. 1882 The Standard Oil Trust agreement was completed and dated. The document transferred the stock and property of more than 40 companies into the control of nine trustees lead by John D. Rockefeller. This was the first example of what became known as a holding company. 1892 Ellis Island opened as America's first federal immigration center. Annie Moore, at age 15, became the first person to pass through. 1900 U.S. Secretary of State John Hay announced the Open Door Policy to prompt trade with China. 1900 The Chicago Canal opened. 1910 The first junior high school in the United States opened. McKinley School in Berkeley, CA, housed seventh and eighth grade students. In a separate building students were housed who attended grades 9-12. 1917 Royal Bank of Canada took over the Quebec Bank. 1921 The first religious broadcast on radio was heard on KDKA Radio in Pittsburgh, PA, as Dr. E.J. Van Etten of Calvary Episcopal Church preached. 1921 DeYoung Museum in Golden Gate Park opened. 1929 The United States and Canada reached an agreement on joint action to preserve Niagara Falls. 1935 Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial for the kidnap- murder of Charles Lindberghs baby. Hauptmann was found guilt and executed. 1942 The Philippine capital of Manila was captured by Japanese forces during World War II. 1955 Panamanian President Jose Antonio Remon was assassinated. 1957 The San Francisco and Los Angeles stock exchanges merged. 1960 U.S. Sen. John F. Kennedy of Massachusetts announced his candidacy for the Democratic presidential nomination. 1968 Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing in Cuba. 1971 In the U.S., a federally imposed ban on television cigarette advertisements went into effect. 1974 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon signed a bill requiring all states to lower the maximum speed limit to 55 MPH. The law was intended to conserve gasoline supplies during an embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries. Federal speed limits were abolished in 1995. 1983 The musical "Annie" closed on Broadway at the Uris Theatre after 2,377 performances. 1985 The Rebels of UNLV beat Utah State in three overtime periods. The final score of 142-140 set a new NCAA record for total points in a basketball game (282). The game took over three hours to play. 1996 AT&T announced that it would eliminate 40,000 jobs over three years. 1998 Russia began circulating new rubles in effort to keep inflation in check and promote confidence. 2004 NASA's Stardust space probe collected samples from the comet Wild 2. The samples returned to Earth on January 15, 2006. 2008 The price of oil hit $100 per barrell for the first time. 2017 Do smiled. |
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