Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, August 4 _____________________________________________________ Today, August 4 in 1987 The Fairness Doctrine was rescinded by the Federal Communications Commission. The doctrine had required that radio and TV stations present controversial issues in a balanced fashion. Since then stations can broadcast totally fake news and propaganda while pretending it is news. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Teen caught shoplifting 30 minutes after walking out of jail for shoplifting _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. --- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799) All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) _____________________________________________________ Ever wonder what medical personnel scribble on those clipboards attached to the foot of the bed? Here are some incredible comments taken from hospital charts: "The patient refused autopsy." "The patient has no previous history of suicides." "She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night." "She is numb from her toes down." "Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities." "Discharge status: Alive but without my permission." ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher Carter, 19, St. Louis, Missouri Teen caught shoplifting 30 minutes after walking out of jail for shoplifting A 19-year-old repeat shoplifting suspect has police shaking their heads. FOX 2 reported on his arrest two days ago, after a police chase and crash. Now he's been arrested again, less than a mile from the police department, about 30 minutes after getting out of jail. Police responded to a shoplifting call at the Macy's at Chesterfield Mall. When officers arrived saw who the suspect was, they couldn't believe it. It was Christopher Carter, 19, of St. Louis. He was still banged up from allegedly crashing in a stolen pickup a day earlier. Carter was a passenger in the truck when it crashed through a fence and into a boat and camper at a storage business in the Chesterfield Valley, Monday afternoon, police said. He and three others were allegedly trying to get away after shoplifting from an outlet mall. The pickup had been stolen from Clayton earlier that morning. We got a call for stealing from the polo store at the Taubman Outlets, said Sgt. Keith Rider of the Chesterfield Police Department. When our officers approached the vehicle the suspects were in, the vehicle took off at a high rate of speed onto the levee trail. They ended up crashing. The subjects got out of the vehicle and ran. Carter was charged with municipal counts of stealing, resisting arrest, and marijuana possession, spent the night in jail, and was released around 1:15 pm the next afternoon, police said. The shoplifting call at the mall came about a half-hour later; less than a mile from the police department; an estimated 27- minute walk. As far as police know, no one was there to pick up Carter when he got out of jail. They believe he walked there. You'd think Carter would be the last person would find when responding to the shoplifting call. I would think so but you can't make this stuff up, Sgt. Rider said. When our officers arrived they realized it was the same subject we just released just a little more than 30 minutes before. Carter now faces another count of misdemeanor stealing. He's in the St. Louis county jail with a $500 bond pending an appearance in Chesterfield Municipal Court. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Richi B Re: Clean Monitor Dear Webby, Quick ? What is the best thing to use in cleaning the computer screen or flat screen tv? Is it okay to use the same thing for both.? Tyvm for all you help .its gr8tly appreciated Richi B Dear Richi Regular Windex will work fine. So will white vinegar. It's just glass. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. "Dad" asked Do, "could you help me with my math homework?" "Certainly not," he replied indignantly. "It wouldn't be right." "Maybe not," said Do, "but you could at least try!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Not long after his marriage, David and his dad, Jon, met for lunch. "How's married life treating you, son?" Jon asked. "Not good, Pop. It seems like I've married a nun." "A nun? What are you talking about?" "A nun. As in 'nun' in the morning, 'nun' at night, and flat 'nun' at all unless I beg." "Ah. I see. Well, look, David, why don't you and your wife come on by for supper tonight and we'll have a nice talk about it." David smiled and said, "Thanks, Dad. That's a great idea." "Good," Jon said, "I'll just call home and tell the Mother Superior to set two extra plates." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thickening Gravy If your gravy is too runny and thin, mix equal parts flour and cornstarch together and sprinkle it into gravy to thicken it. Sprinkle it in a little at a time and stir, it should thicken up in no time. A large salt shaker is good for this. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | 25-popular-science-myths-debunked |
___________________________________________________ Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Can you put something like that in this prescription? Doctor: No need for that. You will find that in your bill. ___________________________________________________ An employee approached his boss and asked for a raise. "Well" began the head man, "business is bad now, Frank and I just can't afford to give you a raise." "But I'm doing the three men's work and I always have..." retorted Frank. "Three men's work?" exploded the boss. "Tell me who the other two are, and I'll fire them!" ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Linda for this story: At our adult Sunday-school class, the teacher asked us to think of everyday ways in which we could practice our religion. The topic of driving courtesy came up first. "How do you respond to the driver who rudely cuts you off?" the teacher asked. A woman piped up, "Smash her other fender too?" __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 4 in 1735 Freedom of the press was established with an acquittal of John Peter Zenger. The writer of the New York Weekly Journal had been charged with seditious libel by the royal governor of New York. The jury said that "the truth is not libelous." 1753 George Washington became a Master Mason. 1790 The Revenue Cutter Service was formed. This U.S. naval task force was the beginning of the U.S. Coast Guard. 1914 Britain declared war on Germany. The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality. 1921 The first radio broadcast of a tennis match occurred. It was in Pittsburgh, PA. 1922 The death of Alexander Graham Bell, two days earlier, was recognized by AT&T and the Bell Systems by shutting down all of its switchboards and switching stations. The shutdown affected 13 million phones. 1944 Nazi police raided a house in Amsterdam and arrested eight people. Anne Frank, a teenager at the time, was one of the people arrested. Her diary would be published after her death. 1954 The uranium rush began in Saskatchewan, Canada. 1956 William Herz became the first person to race a motorcycle over 200 miles per hour. He was clocked at 210 mph. 1957 Florence Chadwick set a world record by swimming the English Channel in 6 hours and 7 minutes. 1957 Juan Fangio won his final auto race and captured the world auto driving championship. It was his the fifth consecutive year to win. 1958 The first potato flake plant was completed in Grand Forks, ND. 1958 Billboard Magazine introduced its "Hot 100" chart, which was part popularity and a barometer of the movement of potential hits. The first number one song was Ricky Nelson's "Poor Little Fool." 1972 Arthur Bremer was found guilty of shooting George Wallace, the governor of Alabama. Bremer was sentenced to 63 years in prison. 1983 New York Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield threw a baseball during warm-ups and accidentally killed a seagull. After the game, Toronto police arrested him for "causing unnecessary suffering to an animal." 1984 Upper Volta, an African republic, changed its name to Burkina Faso. 1987 The Fairness Doctrine was rescinded by the Federal Communications Commission. The doctrine had required that radio and TV stations present controversial issues in a balanced fashion. Since then stations can broadcast totally fake news and propaganda while pretending it is news. 1990 The European Community imposed an embargo on oil from Iraq and Kuwait. This was done to protest the Iraqi invasion of the oil-rich Kuwait. 1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 179 crewmembers survived. 1994 Yugoslavia withdrew its support for Bosnian Serbs. The border between Yugoslavia and Serb-held Bosnia was sealed. 1997 Teamsters began a 15-day strike against UPS (United Parcel Service). The strikers eventually won an increase in full-time positions and defeated a proposed reorganization of the company's pension plan. 2007 NASA's Phoenix spacecraft was launched on a space exploration mission of Mars. The Phoenix lander descended on Mars on May 25, 2008. 2009 North Korean leader Kim Jong-il pardoned two American journalists, who had been arrested and imprisoned for illegal entry earlier in the year. 2019 Do smiled. |
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