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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, December 30, in 1996, About 250,000 striking workers shut down vital services across Israel in protests against budget cuts proposed by Prime Minister Netanyahu. ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Ottawa child sex offender facing possible 60 years jail _____________________________________________________ Q Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange. --- Robin Morgan Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. --- Jim Bishop ____________________________________________________ A "Strong Like Bull, Smart Like Shovel" Award goes to a Hastings, Nebraska man who stole a city snow plow, drove it to a nearby city to buy some beer. He also needed fuel for the big, gas guzzling plow truck to bring the beer back home. He used one of his own personal checks to pay for the gas. DUH. I think he is on the county snow SHOVEL crew now. __________________________________________________ >From Jan Two nuns were shopping at a 7-11 store. As they passed by the beer cooler, one nun said to the other, "wouldn't a nice cool beer or two taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?" The second nun answered, "Indeed it would, sister, but i would not feel comfortable buying beer, since I am certain it would cause a scene at the checkout stand." "I can handle that without a problem," the other nun replied, and she picked up a six-pack and headed for the check-out. The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived with a six-pack of beer. "We use beer for washing our hair" the nun said, "back at our nunnery, we call it a Catholic shampoo." Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled out a package of pretzel sticks, and placed them in the bag with the beer. He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled, and said: "the curlers are on the house." __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Ayrimis Scerini, 31, Ottawa, Illinois, USA Ottawa child sex offender facing possible 60 years jail A 31-year-old Ottawa man could spend the next 60 years in prison for sexually assaulting a child. Ayrimis Scerini was convicted on the charge of Predatory Criminal Sexual Assault of a Child, a class X felony by LaSalle County Judge Chris Ryan during a bench trial last week. Prosecutors say Scerini sexually assaulted a child under the age of 13 in rural Marseilles on March 5th of this year. He was arrested on March 30th after weeks of investigation. Scerini will be sentenced by Ryan during a sentencing hearing in February. Scerini is looking at anywhere from 6 to 60 years in prison. ___________________________________________________ Jennil Modar Please make sure you don't tilt your head too Northern Hawk Owl December 27, 2022 Alberta Wilderness ___________________________________________________ A guy is driving along with his wife in their Cadillac and talking and having a conversation, and then asked his wife: "Darling, if I lose all my money, will you still love me?" She answers: "Of course I will, I will probably miss you too." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Girt Vegg _______________________________________________ Dwayne, his wife, and Dwayne's mother-in-law went camping. Dwayne's wife announced that her mother had been gone on her stroll in the woods way too long. So the two of them went looking for her. After a while they spotted a gigantic, ferocious grizzly bear squared off with the mother-in-law! Immediately the daughter said to her husband, in a frantic voice, "Dwayne you gotta do something, or there's gonna be trouble fer sure!" Dewayne calmly said, "Nah, those grizzllies are a lot tougher than they look. He'll probably live." _______________________________________________ Monica N. wrote: "... I was wandering around the 'net recently, and GOSH! I found a whole bunch of PHILATELISTS. And then I discovered groups populated by THESPIANS and HOMO SAPIENS. And I found hundreds -- not dozens, but HUNDREDS -- of educational institutions funded by MY TAX DOLLARS... teaching people to MATRICULATE. We need to pass laws to control the Internet and protect our children!" __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A man took a young woman to an X-rated movie, purchased some refreshments and showed his date to her seat. Soon after the onscreen action started, she put her hand on the man's lap. Looking over at him, she remarked: "I see this is getting you excited. But how come it's so cold?" "Because you are petting my popsicle!" the man replied.... ___________________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits FROM: Lynn RE: How reliable is ZOOM ? Dear Webby Messenger is too unreliable, and they censor you and put you into FB jail if you dare to post facts. Some friends have switched to ZOOM and tell me to follow. I realize, there is no wacky gossip, but I rarely read that anyway. So, how reliable is ZOOM, and how easy is it, compared to Skype? I do occasionally use Skype, but since Microsoft bought it, I don't trust it anymore. Lynn Dear Lynn Zoom usually works quite well, about like Skype used to. As a newbie let your friends initiate calls. Then you get an email with a clickable link and a password. Hit that and you are connected in full color. As you mentioned, there is no gossip and no bimbo- malfunctions badmouthing you. It is strictly you and your friend. You can drag more friends into the conversation and have a conference. For example Jocelyne, my diabetic nurse, sometimes drags in Nicole, her intern or apprentice, and then they gang up on me. She even shares part of her screen and drags an Excel spreadsheet onto it, and gives me hell about "sinning" last Tuesday afternoon. I still use Skype, especially for phoning, but I also use ZOOM more and more. Still have a lot to learn on that. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ (Taken from actual letters received by a County Department) "I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children I have seven but one died which was baptized on a half sheet of paper." "Mrs. Jones had not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy." "Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am living with can't eat or do anything until he knows." "I am very much annoyed to find you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was borned." "In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory." "I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see." "Unless I get my husbands money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an imortal life." "You have changed my little boy to a little girl. Will this make any difference?" ____________________________________________________ Today, December 30 in 1460, At the Battle of Wakefield, in England's Wars of the Roses, the Duke of York was defeated and killed by the Lancastrians. 1853, The United States bought about 45,000 square miles of land from Mexico in a deal known as the Gadsden Purchase. 1879, Gilbert and Sullivan's "The Pirates of Penzance" was first performed, at Paignton, Devon, England. 1880, The Transvaal was declared a republic. Paul Kruger became its first president. 1887, A petition to Queen Victoria with over one million names of women appealing for public houses to be closed on Sundays was handed to the home secretary. 1903, About 600 people died when fire broke out at the Iroquois Theater in Chicago, IL. 1919, Lincoln's Inn, in London, admitted the first female bar student. 1922, The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) was formed. 1924, Edwin Hubble announced the existence of other galactic systems. 1927, The first subway in the Orient was dedicated in Tokyo, Japan. 1935, Italian bombers destroyed a Sweedish Red Cross unit in Ethiopia. 1936, The United Auto Workers union staged its first sit- down strike, at the Fisher Body Plant in Flint, MI. 1940, California's first freeway was officially opened. It was the Arroyo Seco Parkway connecting Los Angeles and Pasadena. 1944, King George II of Greece proclaimed a regency to rule his country, virtually renouncing the throne. 1947, King Michael of Romania abdicated in favor of a Communist Republic. He claimed he was forced from his throne. 1948, "Kiss Me Kate" opened at the New Century Theatre in New York City. Cole Porter composed the music for the classic play that ran for 1,077 performances. 1953, The first color TV sets went on sale for about $1,175. 1972, The United States halted its heavy bombing of North Vietnam. 1980, "The Wonderful World of Disney" was cancelled by NBC after more than 25 years on the TV. It was the longest- running series in prime-time television history. 1993, Israel and the Vatican established diplomatic relations. 1996, A passenger train was bombed by Bodo separatists in India's eastern state of Assam. At least 26 people were killed and dozens were seriously injured. 1996, About 250,000 striking workers shut down vital services across Israel in protests against budget cuts proposed by Prime Minister Netanyahu. 1997, More than 400 people were massacred in four villages in the single worst incident during Algeria's insurgency. 2022 Do smiled.
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