Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, Sept 2 Thank you, Micky! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________  Florida man, woman arrested for trespassing inside Golden Gate home  ___________________________________________________ Today, Sept 1 in 1901 Theodore Roosevelt, then Vice President, said "Speak softly and carry a big stick" in a speech at the Minnesota State Fair ____________________________________________________ People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have been left out of the pleasure. --- Russell Baker (1925 - ) Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us. --- Henrik Tikkanen ____________________________________________________ If the spammer leaves a regular phone number, find some old and useless keys from previous cars or whatever, put the spammer's phone number on a key fob, and don't forget to mention a $50 reward. Leave one of those in every airport or laundromat or McDonalds you go through. ____________________________________________________   Samir Djail ____________________________________________________ After having their 11th child, a 'Bama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger trailer). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a firecracker (fireworks are legal in 'Bama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The 'Bamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a fire cracker in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from 'Bama. This doctor instead told the man to go home, get a firecracker, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10. Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a fire cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Osmel Linares, Mar Jennifer Voltaire, Golden Gate, Florida, USA  Florida man, woman arrested for trespassing inside Golden Gate home  A woman returned home to find two intruders inside. Tuesday, Collier County Sheriffs Office arrested suspects Osmel Linares, 34, and Mary Jennifer Voltaire, 20, after they were accused of breaking into a home in Golden Gate. Deputies responded to the report of the intruders on 44th Terrace SW, where a woman told deputies she was running errands with two other people when they got back to her home and saw the curtains move and silhouettes in her bedroom. When they went inside, they found a man and woman who then took off on a bicycle. Put up cameras. Cameras can save you, Rebecca Vilchez said. We have cameras. My neighbors have cameras. We all keep an eye on each other over here. She told investigators when she opened the front door, they ran out of the home. Voltaire escaped the property on foot. Meanwhile, Linares left on a white bicycle. The homeowner hopped in her car and followed Voltaire. Moments later, deputies arrived, finding both at Linares grandmothers home, just a few houses down from the womans place. The duo was arrested and booked into the Naples Jail Center. Linares is a convicted felon and this was his sixth arrest within the last year. Linares and Voltaire both face charges for trespassing. Both suspects remained in custody in Collier County jail Wednesday.  ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________  From: Jean Re: How much does it cost to send money with PayPal? Dear Webby, How much does it cost to send money with PayPal? I realize that they can't do it for free, but how much does it cost me? Jean  Dear Jean It does not cost you, the sender, anything. The recipient, who is surprised amd happy to receive anything from you, fill get dinged 29 cents. That is not a big deal, if you send her or him $100, but if you are sending just a dollar, it will cause a long face. That is why they have a $1 minimum per transaction. Have FUN! DearWebby 
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 While enjoying an Early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona truckstop, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days." Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and Bea celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary soon?" "Yup, we sure are," Roy replied. "Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "For our 25th anniversary, I took Bea to Mesa. Maybe for our 50th, I'll go down there and bring her back." ____________________________________________ Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with." Men's Counter-Quote of the Day: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache." ____________________________________________ An obstetrician sometimes saw rather unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery. One patient had some type of fish tattoo on her abdomen. "That sure is an unusual looking whale," he commented. With a sad smile she replied, "It used to be a dolphin." ______________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ___________________________________________________  
 Today, Sept 2, in 31 B.C. The Roman leader Octavian defeated the alliance of Mark Antony and Cleopatra. Octavian, as Augustus Caesar, became the first Roman emperor. 1666 The Great Fire of London broke out. The fire burned for three days destroying 10,000 buildings including St. Paul's Cathedral. Only 6 people were killed. 1775 Hannah, the first American war vessel was commissioned by General George Washington. 1789 The U.S. Treasury Department was established. 1864 During the U.S. Civil War Union forces led by Gen. William T. Sherman occupied Atlanta following the retreat of the Confederates. 1897 The first issue of "McCalls" magazine was published. The magazine had been known previously as "Queens Magazine" and "Queen of Fashion." 1901 Theodore Roosevelt, then Vice President, said "Speak softly and carry a big stick" in a speech at the Minnesota State Fair. 1930 The "Question Mark" made the first non-stop flight from Europe to the U.S. The plane was flown by Captains Dieudonne Coste and Maurice Bellonte. 1938 The first railroad car to be equipped with fluorescent lighting was put into operation on the New York Central railroad. 1945 Japan surrendered to the U.S. aboard the USS Missouri, ending World War II. The war ended six years and one day after it began. 1945 Ho Chi Minh declared the independence the Democratic Republic of Vietnam. 1961 The U.S.S.R. resumed nuclear weapons testing. Test ban treaty negotiations had failed with the U.S. and Britain when the three nations could not agree upon the nature and frequency of on-site inspections. 1963 The integration of Tuskegee High School was prevented by state troopers assigned by Alabama Gov. George Wallace. Wallace had the building surrounded by state troopers. 1969 NBC-TV canceled "Star Trek." The show had debuted on September 8, 1966. 1985 It was announced that the Titanic had been found on September 1 by a U.S. and French expedition 560 miles off Newfoundland. The luxury liner had been missing for 73 years. 1991 The U.S. formally recognized the independence of Lithuania, Lativa and Estonia. 1992 The U.S. and Russia agreed to a joint venture to build a space station. 1996 Muslim rebels and the Philippine government signed a pact formally ending 26-years of insurgency that had killed more than 120,000 people. 1998 In Canada, pilots for Canada's largest airline launch their first strike in Air Canada's history. 2021 Do smiled. 
 
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