| Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, May 2 ___________________________________________________ History: Today, May 2 1982, The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's only cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland Islands War. More than 350 people died. ___________________________________ Bonehead Award: 3 times deported Mexican murdered 5 _____________________________________________________ Q Of those who say nothing, few are silent. --- Thomas Neill ______________________________________________________ At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen. "Patty," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?" "That I did." "And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?" "No, that they ain't," agreed Patty, as he proudly slapped the mortar along the line of bricks. "My poor brother is such a klutz, he couldn't do this to save his life!" ______________________________________________________ Male Mountain Goat (billy), king of the mountain. Rare opportunity to photograph it in the winter coat. Jasper National Park, April 2023. _____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! __________________________________________________ >From Bob During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, "I know I'm in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers is ridiculous!" "The crackers are complimentary," the voice at the other end cooly explained. "I believe you are complaining about your room number." ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _____________________________________________________ >From Maureen YOU MIGHT BE IRISH IF You think St. Patrick's Day is THE major holiday of the year. You believe God created Ireland and the rest happened by accident. You think all beautiful women are Irish. You think Boston is in Ireland. You think England is the place you're condemned to if you're bad. You think Dublin is the world capital. You know what St. Stephen's Day is. You think that New Year's resolutions are fine -- for that night! You believe that all harps have a soul. You believe that all music is Irish -- originally. ____________________________________________________ There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The manager doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. The boys say he is two bricks short of a load, or couple fries short of a happy meal. To prove it, sometimes the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger. One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?" Junior said, "No sir, you see if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!" ___________________________________________________ Morris, went to his rabbi for some needed advice. "Rabbi, tell me is it proper for one man to profit from another man's mistakes?" "No Morris, a man should not profit from another's man mistakes" answered the rabbi. "Are you sure Rabbi?" "Of course, I'm sure, in fact I'm positive" exclaimed the Rabbi "Ok, Rabbi, if you are so sure, how about returning the two hundred dollars I gave you for marrying me to my wife?" ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Gerda RE: How do I stop W10 from messing with icons Dear Webby, Another W10 "fan". NOT!!! How do you stop W10 from screwing around with icon placement on the desktop? I know some people are going to go to hell just from all the cussing and swearing they cause, but I need some help NOW! Gerda Dear Gerda It is still there, but just to get you and a billion others to cuss and swear, they hid it a layer deeper. Right-Click on the desktop VIEW take the checkmark OFF AutoArrange, the most idiotic "feature" in Windows take the checkmark OFF Align to grid That is all there is to it. Now your 756 icons will stay where YOU put them. To make life easier, you COULD group your icons, for example one group of spreadsheets, another group of documents, another group of wildlife (all your lovers), and so on. Then make a desktop folder for each of those categories, and drag the icons from each category into those folders. Your desktop will look bare and organized in a minute or five. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ Ideas are much like children - your own are wonderful. __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! _________________________________________________ Swainsons hawk Ron Kemp ____________________________________________________ A lady went into the grocery and asked for fifty gallons of milk. The clerk, amazed, asked her what she was going to do with that much milk. "I have a skin problem and the Doctor prescribed a milk bath." The clerk asked, "Pasteurized?" She replied, . . . "No just up to my boobies." __________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD reported by Rock, has been earned by Francisco Oropesa, Cleveland, Texas, USA Suspect in Texas slaughter of 5 is three-time deported illegal immigrant from Mexico A manhunt is underway in Texas for a 38-year-old Mexican national who has been deported three times from the United States. Francisco Oropesa is wanted for allegedly shooting five of his Cleveland, Texas, neighbors in the head after they asked him to stop firing his gun because they had a sleeping baby. One of the victims was an 8-year-old boy. Oropesa was deported by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) three times on separate incidents, San Jacinto County Sheriff Greg Capers told Breitbart Texas on Sunday. Some of the adults died while shielding other young children who did survive and were taken to the hospital. Advertisement All of Oropesas neighbors were from Honduras. Speaking at a press conference on Saturday afternoon, Sheriff Capers announced that the FBI, the U.S. Marshals Office, Montgomery and Harris County Sheriffs Offices, and other agencies are involved in the manhunt for Oropesa. Our number one priority, Capers said, has been to locate this suspect and put him behind bars where he belongs. Were still out there trying to find this individual, he said. We consider him armed and dangerous and were not going to stop until we actually arrest him and bring him into custody. This tragedy that unfolded, he had no right, Rivera said. We never offended him. We never disrespected him. Oropesa was allegedly drunk and shooting off an AR-15 outside his home when his neighbors asked him to stop as he was scaring the children. I told my wife to go inside because he had loaded the gun, Garcia said. Oropesa then forced himself inside the house and shot Garcias wife, Sonya. Thats when my friend told me to run, Garcia continued. Sonya is dead. You have two kids. Run. We will take care of ourselves.' So, thats when I went through the window, the grieving man explained. When Garcia returned a short time later, Oropesa was still inside the home. Thats when the suspect shot at me, Garcia said. He shot at me five times behind my house. When he didnt catch me, he returned to gun them down again and shot them in the head. Authorities are offering a $130,000 reward for information leading to Oropesas capture. _____________________________________________________ Today, May 2 in 1670, The Hudson Bay Company was founded by England's King Charles II. 1776, France and Spain agreed to donate arms to American rebels fighting the British. 1797, A mutiny in the British navy spread from Spithead to the rest of the fleet. 1798, The black General Toussaint Louverture forced British troops to agree to evacuate the port of Santo Domingo. 1808, The citizens of Madrid rose up against Napoleon. 1813, Napoleon defeated a Russian and Prussian army at Grossgorschen. 1853, Franconis Hippodrome opened at Broadway and 23rd Street in New York City. 1863, Confederate Gen. Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson was wounded by his own men in the battle of Chancellorsville, VA. He died 8 days later. 1865, U.S. President Andrew Johnson offered $100,000 reward for the capture of Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 1885, The Congo Free State was established by King Leopold II of Belgium. 1885, The magazine "Good Housekeeping" was first published. 1887, Hannibal W. Goodwin applied for a patent on celluloid photographic film. This is the film from which movies are shown. 1890, The Oklahoma Territory was organized. 1902, "A Trip to the Moon," the first science fiction film was released. It was created by magician George Melies. 1922, WBAP-AM began broadcasting in north Texas. 1926, In India, Hindu women gained the right to seek elected office. 1926, U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to put down a revolt and to protect U.S. interests. They did not depart until 1933. 1927, The U.S. Supreme Court upheld 8-1 a Virginia law that allowed the forced sterilization of people to promote the "health of the patient and the welfare of society." (Buck v. Bell) 1933, Hitler banned trade unions in Germany. 1941, Hostilities broke out between British forces in Iraq and that countrys pro-German faction. 1941, The Federal Communications Commission agreed to let regular scheduling of TV broadcasts by commercial TV stations begin on July 1, 1941. This was the start of network television. 1945, Russians took Berlin after 12 days of fierce house-to-house fighting. The Allies announced the surrender of Nazi troops in Italy and parts of Austria. 1946, Prisoners revolted at California's Alcatraz prison. 1960, Caryl Chessman was executed. He was a convicted sex offender and had become a best selling author while on death row. 1965, The "Early Bird" satellite was used to transmit television pictures across the Atlantic. 1969, The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) made its maiden voyage. 1970, Student anti-war protesters at Ohio's Kent State University burn down the campus ROTC building. The National Guard took control of the campus. 1972, In Kellogg, ID, a fire at the Sunshine silver mine, 91 workers died from carbon monoxide poisoning. 1974, Former U.S. Vice President Spiro T. Agnew was disbarred by the Maryland Court of Appeals. 1974, The filming of "Jaws" began in Martha's Vineyard, MA. 1982, The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's only cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland Islands War. More than 350 people died. 1993, At Washington's National Gallery of Art, an exhibit of 80 paintings from the collection of Dr. Albert C. Barnes opened. 1993, Authorities said that they had recovered the remains of David Koresh from the Branch Davidian compound near Waco, TX. 1994, Nelson Mandela claimed victory after South Africa's first democratic elections. 1997, Tony Blair, at age 43, became Britain's youngest prime minister in 185 years. 1999, In Panama, Mireya Moscoso de Grubar, of the Armulfista Party, was elected president. 2018, The Boys Scouts of America announced their flagship program would be reneamed Scouts BSA. The program was known simply as the Boy Scouts for 108 years. 2023, Do smiled.
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