Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, October 4 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ KY Woman charged with raping 12-year-old boy ___________________________________________________ Today, October 4 in 1535 The first complete English translation of the Bible was printed in Zurich, Switzerland. ____________________________________________________ Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men. --- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. --- Mark Twain ____________________________________________________ Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the minister, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what am I going to do with the BODY?" ____________________________________________________ Sheila Petersen Male hooded merganser, Edmonton, Oct 2/2021 ____________________________________________________ A man was wandering around a fairground and he happened to see a fortune-teller's tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. "Ah....." said the woman as she gazed into her crystal ball. "I see you are the father of two children." "That's what you think," said the man scornfully. "I'm the father of THREE children." The woman grinned and said, "That's what YOU think." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Morgan Roberts, 18, Ludlow, Kentucky, USA KY Woman charged with raping 12-year-old boy A Kentucky woman is accused of raping a 12-year-old boy three different times. Morgan Roberts, 18, faces rape and sexual abuse charges. Ludlow, Ky. police said the boy's mother contacted them after finding a text on her son's phone that read, "I took your V card and you liked it". Police talked to the boy who said the sexual abuse happened once at his house, once at Roberts' house and once at a friend's house in Ludlow. The boy was able to describe Roberts in ways that were only possible if he'd seen her without clothes. Two of the boy's friends also said Roberts admitted to the abuse. All three boys said Roberts made them call her "mom," police said. She was arrested Sept. 16 and is out on bond. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Tom Re: Hot key for date and time in CALC Dear Webby, I use CALC for my spreadsheet,thanks to you recommending it for years. I used to use Excel before, but I can't get the almost affordable student version anymore. Is there a hotkey in CALC to insert the date or the time? Thanks Tom Dear Tom That is an easy one CTRL ; inserts the date CTRL SHIFT ; inserts the time. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ >From Edith One day my mother, father, younger sister and I were traveling in the car. My sister turned to me and asked, "What does horny mean?" Being 12 years older then she was I did my best to explain what horny meant in a 10 year olds world. My mother and father helped between snickers. After explaining the best we could I asked her where she heard the word horny. Very seriously she explained, Well, in science the other day we were talking about what animals we will learn about next week, an one of the is the Horny Toad!" ____________________________________________ Two guys were doing construction on a house. The guy who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, and then either toss it over his shoulder or nail it into the siding. The other guy saw him tossing all the nails over his shoulder and asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" The first guy said, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed towards me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the house, then I nail it into the siding." The second guy was outraged. He yelled, "You idiot! The nails pointed towards you aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!" ______________________________________________ Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound determination to become Charles Atlas, the father nevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department, admiring a set of weights. "Please, Dad," pleaded the boy, "I promise I'll use 'em every day." "I don't know, Michael. It's really a commitment on your part," the father pointed out. "Please, Dad?" the boy continued. "They're not cheap either," the father came back. "I'll use 'em Dad, I promise. You'll see." Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed for the door. From the corner of the store he heard his son yelp, "Wait! You mean I have to carry them to the car?" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, October 4, in 1535 The first complete English translation of the Bible was printed in Zurich, Switzerland. 1648 The first volunteer fire department was established in New York by Peter Stuyvesant. 1777 At Germantown, PA, Patriot forces and British forces both suffer heavy losses in battle. The battle was seen as British victory, which actually served as a moral boost to the Americans. 1876 The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas formally dedicated by Texas Gov. Richard Coke. It was the state's first venture into public higher education. The college opened for classed two days earlier. 1881 Edward Leveaux received a patent for the player piano. 1909 The first airship race in the U.S. took place in St. Louis, MO. 1915 The Dinosaur National Monument was established. The area covered part of Utah and Colorado. 1927 The first actual work of carving began on Mount Rushmore. 1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini met in the Alps at Brenner Pass. Hitler was seeking help from Italy to fight the British. 1957 The Soviet Union launched Sputnik I into orbit around the Earth. Sputnik was the first manmade satellite to enter space. Sputnik I fell out of orbit on January 4, 1958. 1958 British Overseas Airways Corporation became the first jetliner to offer trans-Atlantic service to passengers with flights between London, England and New York. 1990 The German parliament had its first meeting since reunification. 1992 The 16-year civil war in Mozambique ended. 1993 Russian Vice-President Alexander Rutskoi and Chairman Ruslan Khasbulatov surrendered to Boris Yeltsin after a ten-hour tank assault on the Russian White House. The two men had barricaded themselves in after Yeltsin called for general elections and dissolved the legislative body. 1993 Dozens of Somalis dragged an American soldier through the streets of Mogadishu. A videotape showed Michael Durant being taken prisoner by Somali militants. 1994 South African President Nelson Mandela was welcomed to the White House by U.S. President Clinton. 1998 The Vincent Van Gogh exhibit opened in Washington, DC. The exhibit featured 70 paintings. 1998 Davis Gaines performed as the Phantom in the show "Phantom of the Opera" for the 2,000th time. 2001 NATO granted the United States open access to their airfields and seaports and agreed to deploy ships and early-warning radar planes in the war on terrorism. 2001 In Washington, DC, Reagan National Airport re-opened. The airport had been closed since the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. 2004 SpaceShipOne reached an altitude of 368,000 feet. It was the first privately built, manned rocket ship to fly in space twice within a two week window. The ship won the Ansari X Prize of $10 million dollars for their success. 2021 Do smiled. |
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