Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, April 8 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Drunk Florida teacher let boy, 14, drive her to Waffle House. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, April 8 in 1525 Albert von Brandenburg, the leader of the Teutonic Order, assumes the title "Duke of Prussia" and passed the first laws of the Protestant church, making Prussia a Protestant state. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Until you walk a mile in another man's moccasins you can't imagine the smell. --- Robert Byrne This is one of those views which are so absolutely absurd that only very learned men could possibly adopt them. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "NEXT," the conference emcee announced, "we have the Chief of the Minnesota State Patrol, Roger Ledding, who is here with his lovely wife, Beverly." The chief took his place at the lectern. "I'm a little nervous," he began, "getting up before this distinguished audience and speaking today. But not nearly as nervous as I will be tonight when I must go home with my wife, *Audrey*, and try to explain Beverly to her!" ______________________________________________________ >From Cookie I do have the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle any home repair project. And yes I tackle almost all of them. For example, in my garage are pieces of a lawnmower I once tried to fix. A couple of my neighbors were walking by my house, and found me in the garage attacking my vacuum cleaner with a screwdriver. "I can't get this thing to cooperate,"I explained when I saw them. Joyce suggested, "Why don't you drag it over to the other side of the garage and show it the remains of the lawnmower?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 123-4567 and ask for Dixie." Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Local Humane Society, about a 4 months old Black Lab pup. ______________________________________________________ Watch out, he may run, or he may ram you! ______________________________________________________ If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Terra Virgin, 32, Tampa, Floriduh Drunk Florida teacher let boy, 14, drive her to Waffle House. A Tampa teacher is facing serious charges after police said she was drunk and had an unlicensed teen boy driving her around. Terra Virgin was arrested on Sunday and charged with child abuse and neglect. Police said Virgin, 32, was intoxicated and had an open can of beer while in the passenger seat of a Toyota SUV that was stopped on suspicion of DUI at Kennedy Boulevard and Westland Avenue. Officers said the 14-year-old son of Virgin's boyfriend was driving the SUV. The teen does not have a driver's license. Police said Virgin told them she had five beers, was too drunk to drive and was getting the teen to drive her to a Waffle House. Virgin is a math teacher at Freedom High School. She has been a teacher in Hillsborough County since 2013. The boy was transported and released into his father's custody. Virgin bonded out of jail Monday afternoon. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ollie Re: Hot hard drive Dear Webby I opened up my computer to vacuum out the dust bunnies like you had suggested last spring, well better late than never, and I noticed that the hard drive was giving off a lot of heat. It was very hot to the touch. Is that a sign that it will die soon? Ollie Dear Ollie That is quite normal. Today's fast hard drives do run quite warm. If you can touch it and keep your fingers on it for five seconds, it's at normal operating temperature. You could not keep your fingers that long in water that is 60 degrees C (140 F) without yelling. The temperature is probably between 45 C and 55 C. The oil in the bearings is good for 200 degrees C (400 F). I would not worry about that drive. Keep in mind though, sooner or later every hard drive crashes, and then you will really appreciate it if you have a reasonably recent back-up. Have FUN! DearWebby The wife of a Las Vegas doctor telephoned a local casino and asked to have her husband paged. "Sorry, Madam," came the reply, "The house does not make doctor calls!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Marinade for Making Beef Chuck Blade Tender Even the most "not so tender" cut of meat, such as beef chuck blade can cook so tender you would not know it's chuck. The secret is to marinate the beef chuck over night. Use lee kum kee chicken marinade teriyaki (or similar brand) along with green, orange, yellow, and red bell peppers, one medium white onion, lemon herb, and steak seasoning. Cook with medium-low heat on stove for about 30 to 45 min. Make sure to marinate in a closed container. By Esther ____________________________________________________ One of Trina's wedding presents was a toaster oven. After the honeymoon, she and Bernie, her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster. "Get the owner's manual!" Bernie shouted. "I can't find it anywhere!" cried Trina a short time later. "Oops!" came a voice from the kitchen. "Well, the toast is fine, but the owner's manual's burned to a crisp." ___________________________________________________ A student comes to a young professor after regular office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do... **anything**!!!" He returns her gaze. "Anything???" "Yes,... Anything!!!" His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... ahhh,..... study???" Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, on April 8 1513 Explorer Juan Ponce de Leon claimed Florida for Spain. 1525 Albert von Brandenburg, the leader of the Teutonic Order, assumes the title "Duke of Prussia" and passed the first laws of the Protestant church, making Prussia a Protestant state. 1832 About 300 American troops of the 6th Infantry left Jefferson Barracks, St. Louis, to confront the Sauk Indians in the Black Hawk War. 1873 Alfred Paraf patented the first successful oleomargarine. 1913 The Seventeenth amendment was ratified, requiring direct election of senators. 1935 The Works Progress Administration was approved by the U.S. Congress. 1939 Italy invaded Albania. 1942 The Soviets opened a rail link to the besieged city of Leningrad. 1946 The League of Nations assembled in Geneva for the last time. 1952 U.S. President Truman seized steel mills to prevent a nationwide strike. 1962 Bay of Pigs invaders got thirty years imprisonment in Cuba. 1985 India filed suit against Union Carbide for the Bhopal disaster. 1985 Phyllis Diller underwent a surgical procedure for permanent eyeliner to eliminate the need for eyelid makeup. 1990 In Nepal, King Birendra lifted the 30-year ban on political parties. 1994 Smoking was banned in the Pentagon and all U.S. military bases. 2002 Ed McMahon filed a $20 million lawsuit against his insurance company, two insurance adjusters, and several environmental cleanup contractors. The suit alleged breach of contract, negligence and intentional infliction of emotional distress concerning a toxic mold that had spread through McMahon's Beverly Hills home. 2017 Do smiled. |
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