Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, August 30 By the time you read this, I will be on the way to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs. Ouch and Ouch. Darren, a neighbor, will drive me back afterwards. There won't be any newsletters or emails sent out on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Monday is Labor Day. Come to think of it, I have NEVER in my life had Labor Day off. Extra pay for working on Labor Day, sure, but never had Labor Day off. So, if there is no newsletter in your mail on Monday, I will celebrate my first Labor Day! Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Mexifornia Man Accused of Serial Dining-and-Dashing, Leaving Dates to Pay, Faces Multiple Felonies  ______________________________________________________ Today, August 30 in 1645 American Indians and the Dutch made a peace treaty at New Amsterdam. New Amsterdam later became known as New York. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ 
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 Knowledge is power, if you know it about the right person. --- Ethel Mumford ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Well, times are changing. Twenty years ago, if I told a woman that I wanted to google her Wiki with my Palm Pilot, she would probably have either slapped or kissed me. Today she'll offer to guide me in. _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Cookie for this story: A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic garbage bags with her, one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag... "Darn!" says the little old lady....."I' d better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks for the warning!" "Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? Did you steal it?" "Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingie through the fence, I say: $20 or off it comes!" "Hey, not a bad idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck! By the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well", says the little old lady, "not all of them pay." ______________________________________________________   _____________________________________________________ 
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 _____________________________________________________ A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho" and went out walking with one of the hired hands. Walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to impress the ranch hand and started a conversation. "Say, look at that big bunch of cows." The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd'." "Heard what?" "Herd of cows." "Sure, I've heard of cows. There's a big bunch of 'em right over there!" ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Paul Guadalupe Gonzales, 45 Pasadena, Mexifornia  Mexifornia Man Accused of Serial Dining-and-Dashing, Leaving Dates to Pay, Faces Multiple Felonies  A man criticized as the dine-and-dash dater after being accused of meeting women at restaurants across the Los Angeles area only to leave them with the bill pleaded not guilty to charges of theft and extortion on Monday, prosecutors said. Paul Guadalupe Gonzales, 45, allegedly connected with a string of women through dating apps and websites and invited them out to dinner between May 2016 and this April with the intent of using them as a meal ticket, the L.A. County District Attorneys Office said in a release. He arranged dates at restaurants in Pasadena, Long Beach, Burbank and Los Angeles, where he ordered and consumed food and drinks, then disappeared before the bill had been paid, the DAs office said. Eight women told prosecutors theyd footed the bill, one of them under the belief that Gonzales would pay her back. And at least twice, the restaurant paid its own check making those businesses victims in the criminal complaint, officials said. In total, Gonzales is accused of defrauding the women of more than $950. Expecting big city women's libbers to pay for dinner is of course considered quite naughty! Hes also charged with receiving hair salon services, then leaving before paying. Investigators obtained an arrest warrant for Gonzales on July 3, and inmate records show he was taken into custody Saturday, Aug. 25, in Pasadena. He was subsequently charged with seven counts of extortion, two counts of attempted extortion and one count of grand theft all felonies. He also faces two misdemeanor counts each of defrauding an innkeeper and petty theft. If convicted as charged, the defendant could spend up to 13 years in state prison, prosecutors said. Gonzales is scheduled to return to court in Pasadena for a preliminary hearing on Sept. 7. 
  From: Leanne Re: hiberfil.sys  Dear Webby, I got this huge file called hiberfil.sys, and it's fragmented so badly that even DisKeeper can't do anything about it. Actually, it's the only fragmented file it shows on the C: drive. Is there a way to get rid of it? Leanne  Dear Leanne hiberfil.sys is just a snapshot of what you got open and running, what Windows will return to when it wakes up from hibernating. If you get rid of, or move hiberfil.sys then Windows has nothing to return to when you get back from lunch. That is why DisKeeper won't touch it. The only safe way to get rid of hiberfil.sys is to turn of Hibernation. Go to Control Panel Power Hibernation Apply Then reboot. The file is gone. Now tell Diskeeper to do a defrag and snug everything up. You will wind up with a lean and mean and fast C: drive with zero fragments. After that, you can turn hibernation on again. It's a good idea to do that once or twice a year. Have FUN DearWebby  
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head with the cast iron frying pan. "I found a piece of paper in your pant pocket with the name "Marylou" written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation." "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the dog track? That was the name of the dog I bet on." The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again. "What was that for?" he complained. "Your dog called last night." 
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 A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you." The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants." ____________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shopping By The Seasons  By preparing meals with foods that are in season you can save a lot of money. Other seasonal deals to look for are meat sales around the holidays. Some examples are hot dogs before the 4th of July and specialty meats like ham or turkey for Easter, Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
  
 
 Be aware of this plant, it's very dangerous. 
 ___________________________________________________ Supposedly a true story, but it sounds like an Urban Legend. A British doctor examining a young woman with abdominal pains asked her if she was sexually active. She said that she wasn't. A later examination showed that she was pregnant. Asked why she said that she was not sexually active, the woman replied: I'm not, I just lie there. When asked if she knew who the father was, with a puzzled look she replied, "No. Who?" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 The church next door welcomes all denominations, but mainly they prefer tens and twenties. ____________________________________________________  
 Today, August 30 in 1146 European leaders outlawed the crossbow. The Swiss disagreed and even put the cross bow onto their coat of arms and flag. They soundly defeated the Empire army of armored knights. Their tin suits were no match for cross bows. 1645 American Indians and the Dutch made a peace treaty at New Amsterdam. New Amsterdam later became known as New York. 1682 William Penn sailed from England and later established the colony of Pennsylvania in America. 1780 General Benedict Arnold secretly promised to surrender the West Point fort to the British army. 1809 Charles Doolittle Walcott first discovered fossils near Burgess Pass. He named the site Burgess Shale after nearby Mt. Burgess. 1862 The Confederates defeated Union forces at the second Battle of Bull Run in Manassas, VA. 1905 Ty Cobb made his major league batting debut with the Detroit Tigers. 1928 The Independence of India League was established in India. 1941 During World War II, the Nazis severed the last railroad link between Leningrad and the rest of the Soviet Union. 1945 General Douglas MacArthur set up Allied occupation headquarters in Japan. 1951 The Philippines and the United States signed a defense pact. 1956 In Louisianna, the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway opened. 1960 A partial blockade was imposed on West Berlin by East Germany. 1963 The "Hotline" between Moscow and Washington, DC, went into operation. 1965 Thurgood Marshall was confirmed by the U.S. Senate as a Supreme Court justice. Marshall was the first black justice to sit on the Supreme Court. 1982 P.L.O. leader Yasir Arafat left Beirut for Greece. 1983 The space shuttle Challenger blasted off with Guion S. Bluford Jr. aboard. He was the first black American to travel in space. 1984 The space shuttle Discovery lifted off for the first time. On the voyage three communications satellites were deployed. 1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan, and several others, were inducted into the Sportscasters Hall of Fame. 1991 The Soviet republic of Azerbaijan declared its independence. 1994 Rosa Parks was robbed and beaten by Joseph Skipper. Parks was known for her refusal to give up her seat on a bus in 1955, which sparked the civil rights movement. 1994 The largest U.S. defense contractor was created when the Lockheed and Martin Marietta corporations agreed to a merger. 1996 An expedition to raise part of the Titanic failed when the nylon lines being used to raise part of the hull snapped. 1999 The residents of East Timor overwhelmingly voted for independence from Indonesia. The U.N. announced the result on September 4. 2002 Conoco Inc. and Phillips Petroleum merged to create ConocoPhillips. The new company was the third largest integrated energy company and the second largest refining company in the U.S. 2018 Do smiled. 
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