Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, June 8 _____________________________________________________ Today, June 8 in 1969 U.S. President Richard Nixon met with President Thieu of South Vietnam to tell him 25,000 U.S. troops would pull out by August. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
   
 Today's Bonehead Award: Mum, 42, died after swallowing bag of cocaine in airport lounge  ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  _______________________________________________ An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. --- Charles F. Kettering (1876 - 1958) You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. --- Sacha Guitry _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this: The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students came up and took over. "Your hard drive crashed," he said. I called the computer services office and explained, "My computer is down. The hard drive crashed." "We can't just send people down on your say so. How do you know that's the problem?" "A student told me," I answered. "We'll send someone over right away." ______________________________________________________`   _____________________________________________________ 
 If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  Thanks for your votes!
 ___________________________________________________    An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by  Victoria Buchanan, 42, Dubai UAE  Mum, 42, died after swallowing bag of cocaine in airport lounge  
 A British teacher died after swallowing a bag of cocaine in a Manchester first class airport lounge while waiting to fly home to Dubai. Victoria Buchanan, 42, ingested the resealable bag when she realised she still had the drugs in her possession after she checked in her luggage. The mum-of-three had bought 200 worth of the the Class A drug during a family visit to the UK with her husband Mark. She swallowed about 60 worth of cocaine while drinking a glass of champagne. But the bag burst in her stomach and she collapsed moments later. Onlookers at Manchester Airport initially believed Victoria was having an anaphylactic shock and administered an epipen she had in her handbag for a palm oil allergy. But she tragically died later at Wythenshawe Hospital. The bag of cocaine was discovered during a post-mortem. The expat, originally from Kilmarnock, Scotland, had moved to Dubai in 2010 and worked as a teacher in the UAE while her husband worked for a shipping firm. Her husband told the Manchester hearing: 'We were aware she would take small amounts of cocaine occasionally and it was something we did together, I had left the UK a few days before not a lot was left not that that matters now.  DearWebby's Tech Support Pits  From: Harold Re: Half hour tune-up  Dear Webby I got promoted, my computer didn't. I found out that in large companies computers are like the balls people play with. The people on the loading dock play basket ball, the people in manufacturing play volley ball, middle management plays baseball. Now I am expected to dress funny and play golf. The computer that I inherited from my predecessor is not a golf ball. It's a lemon. If I try to run more than two programs at the same time, it locks up within a few minutes. What can I do ? Harold  1) Run Spybot-Search&Destroy 2) Run CrapCleaner 3) Run MalwareBytes 4) If the screensaver displays a company logo waving around the screen, reduce the bmp file of that logo to 64 x 64 pixels (instead of hundreds or thousands of Kilobytes) 5) Move your desktop icons into folders. For example, make a folder on the C:\ drive and call it "NUM". Make a desktop shortcut to it. Drag all desktop icons that lead to numerical stuff into that folder. Do the same with "ALPH", for alphabetical stuff like word processors, contact management, etc. Older machines and machines with not enough memory really suffer if you have lots of desktop icons. Also, use small icons in the settings, and in those folders choose LIST, not Icons or Details. 6) In the folder view settings choose "Classic View". Those rounded corners and space wasting stuff on the left in the XP mode tie up a lot of memory. If you do all that, then in half an hour your computer will run more reliably and faster than if your hard drive was transferred onto a brand new computer. Have FUN! DearWebby 
 Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 "The attractive man I met last night insists he just wants to be friends." the girl told her maiden Aunt. "Now I know what to do with a lover, but, what the heck do I do with a 'friend'?" The wise old lady smiled and said, "The same as with your lover, dearie, only not quite so often." 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 A country club didn't allow women on the golf course. Eventually, there was enough pressure that they decided to allow women on the course during the week. The ladies were satisfied with this arrangement, formed a women's club and became very active. After about 6 months, the club board received a letter from the women's club complaining about the men, urinating on the golf course. Naturally, they just ignored the matter. After another 6 months, they received another letter reminding them of the previous letter and demanding action. After due deliberation they sent the women a letter advising them that they had been granted equal privileges! ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Your Spouse and Your Credit Score If your spouse has bad credit habits, it could affect your credit as well. Even a divorce will not necessarily eliminate negative marks against your credit since you may be held accountable for any joint accounts and shared debt. thriftyfun.Com   ____________________________________________________   
  
Adventures in replying to spam 
 ___________________________________________________ Keli got up late and was rushing to get ready for church. She ran frantically around her house, tore through her closet, threw her clothes on over her head and ran out the door to her car. When she arrived at the church, she saw a man coming towards her. "Tell me," she panted in her southern drawl, "Is mass out?" "No, ma'am" the man replied, "but yer hat's on crooked." ___________________________________________________ John, a 72 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few months later the Dr. saw John walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the Dr. talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" John replied, "Just doing what you said Doctor, "Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful." "Too late!" John replied. ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 One morning the door-bell rang. The weather was very bad. It was raining cats and dogs. I opened the door and there stood a young lady, a Jehovah's Witness, soaking wet. I felt sorry for her and invited her in the house for a cup of coffee and to dry off a little. As we were drinking our coffee, I asked what her ' happy message ' was. I thought we might discuss some minor or major differences of believes or interpretation, but, she stuttered and said: ..."I'm not sure....I never got this far before...!" ___________________________________________________  
 Today, June 8 in 0452 Italy was invaded by Attila the Hun. 0793 The Vikings raided the Northumbrian coast of England. 1786 In New York City, commercially manufactured ice cream was advertised for the first time. 1790 The first loan for the U.S. was repaid. The Temporary Loan of 1789 was negotiated and secured on September 18, 1789 by Alexander Hamilton. 1866 Prussia annexed the region of Holstein. 1869 Ives W. McGaffey received a U.S. patent for the suction vacuum cleaner. 1872 The penny postcard was authorized by the U.S. Congress. 1904 U.S. Marines landed in Tangiers, Morocco, to protect U.S. citizens. 1915 U.S. Secretary of State William Jennings Bryan resigned in a disagreement over U.S. handling of the sinking of the Lusitania. 1953 The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed segregated restaurants in Washington, DC. 1965 U.S. troops in South Vietnam were given orders to begin fighting offensively. 1967 Israeli airplanes attacked the USS Liberty in the Mediterranean during the 6-Day War between Israel and its Arab neighbors. 34 U.S. Navy crewmen were killed. Israel later called the incident a tragic mistake due to the mis-identification of the ship. The U.S. has never publicly investigated the incident. 1969 U.S. President Richard Nixon met with President Thieu of South Vietnam to tell him 25,000 U.S. troops would pull out by August. 1978 A jury in Clark County, Nevada, ruled that the "Mormon will," was a forgery. The work was supposedly written by Howard Hughes. 1982 U.S. President Reagan became the first American chief executive to address a joint session of the British Parliament. 1987 Fawn Hill began testifying in the Iran-Contra hearings. She said that she had helped to shred some documents. 1991 A victory parade was held in Washington, DC, to honor veterans of the Persian Gulf War. 1994 The warring factions in Bosnia agreed to a one-month cease- fire. 1995 U.S. Air Force pilot Captain Scott O'Grady was rescued by U.S. Marines after surviving alone in Bosnia after his F-16 fighter was shot down on June 2. 1996 China set off an underground nuclear test blast. 1998 The National Rifle Association elected Charlton Heston to be its president. 1998 In the U.S., the FTC brought an antitrust complaint against Intel Corp., alleging its policies punished other developers of microprocessor chips. 1998 Honda agreed to pay $17.1 million for disconnecting anti- pollution devices in 1.6 million cars. 1998 The space shuttle Discovery pulled away from Mir, ending America's three-year partnership with Russia. 2000 The Dallas Stars and the New Jersey Devils played the NHL's longest scoreless game in Stanley Cup finals history. The fifth game of the series lasted 106 minutes and 21 seconds. The game ended with a goal by Mike Madano that allowed the Stars to play a game six back in Dallas. 2001 Marc Chagall's painting "Study for 'Over Vitebsk" was stolen from the Jewish Museum in New York City. The 8x10 painting was valued at about $1 million. A group called the International Committee for Art and Peace later announced that they would return the painting after the Israelis and Palestinians made peace. 2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones began the first known continuous hike of the 1,800-mile trail down the U.S. Pacific Coast. They completed the trek at the U.S.-Mexico border on September 28. 2019 Do smiled.