Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, January 19 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, January 19, in 1915 George Claude, of Paris, France, patented the neon discharge tube for use in advertising signs. ___________________________________________________ Generosity with strings is not generosity; It is a deal. --- Marya Mannes "We love because it's the only true adventure." --- Nikki Giovanni In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman............ Since then, neither God nor man has rested. --- Socratex In order to succeed beyond your wildest expectations, first you need some wild expectations. --- Socratex ----- Well, I got those! ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Georgia double homicide suspect arrested in northern Arizona ____________________________________________________ John's barn burned down and his wife, Sandy, called the insurance company. Sandy spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar worth." There was a long pause, and then Sandy replied, "If that's how it works, cancel the life insurance policy on my husband!" ____________________________________________________ Robert Full moon in Madagascar ____________________________________________________ Little Johnny's teacher was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes west longitude?" After a few seconds silence, little Johnny said: "I guess you'd be eating alone, I can't swim." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Sanders, Birmingham, Alabama, USA Georgia double homicide suspect arrested in northern Arizona An Alabama man wanted for a double homicide in Georgia was arrested in northern Arizona on Jan. 12, the U.S. Marshals and Flagstaff Police Department said. Joshua Sanders, originally from Birmingham, Alabama, was arrested in Flagstaff after authorities say he's responsible for the death of a mother and her daughter on Jan. 6. He was wanted by the Georgia Bureau of Investigations. When being taken into custody, authorities say Sanders admitted to the possibility of shooting the arresting officers if he had the chance so that he could escape. "The arrest of Sanders at the Greyhound Bus Station in Flagstaff was executed in a manner that ensured other passengers and the public at the station were not placed in any danger", said United States Marshal David Gonzales. "Sanders, who was recently released from prison, and had 3 handguns in his possession, told Deputy Marshals at the time of his arrest that if he had the opportunity, he would have shot at them in order to make an escape." The suspect was reportedly responsible for the shooting and killing of a female acquaintance and her mother in Vidalia, Georgia, during a domestic dispute. "After the shooting, Sanders stole the victims vehicle and fled back to Birmingham, Alabama where the vehicle was later discovered abandoned," authorities said. Through an investigation, it was revealed that Sanders reportedly took a bus from Tulsa, Oklahoma on Jan. 11 to Los Angeles. While en route to California, he was arrested. "The U.S. Marshal Service, with the assistance of Flagstaff Police Department, were able to establish surveillance at the Greyhound bus station. At approximately 1:40 pm, Sanders was positively identified exiting the Greyhound Bus and was taken into custody by U.S. Marshal deputies and Flagstaff Police Officers," authorities explained. He was booked into the Coconino County Jail and will be extradited back to Georgia. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Bonnie Re: Gmail nuisances Dear Webby, Dear Bonnie I finally found somebody at Gmail smart enough to check that and not act like a demented yuppie and try to blame it on me. She told me that unfortunately it is a known problem. It does not look like they are in a hurry to fix that. Greedily running up the usage stats to force the victims to buy extra space seems to be the current priority. Have FUN! DearWebby Three ladies were having coffee. The first woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, the people call him 'Your Grace'." Since the third woman sips her coffee in silence, the first two women give her this subtle "Well...?" Finally she responds: "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2" hard bodied stripper. When he walks into a room, the women say, "Oh, my God...." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. At noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. "What are those drums?" asked the anthropologist, knowing he was in cannibal country. The guide turned to him and said "No worry. Drums OK, but very bad when they stop." They both went ghostly pale when the drums suddenly stopped. The guide crouched in the belly of the canoe and covered his ears. "Do as I do! Very important!" intoned the guide with great urgency. "Why? What does this mean?" asked the panicked anthropologist. "Drums stop! Next come violin solo!" ______________________________________________ A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!...But don't shove me either!" ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Cow! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. ___________________________________________________ | Today, January 19, in 1419 Rouen surrendered to Henry V, completing his conquest of Normandy. 1793 King Louis XVI was tried by the French Convention, found guilty of treason and sentenced to the guillotine. 1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett of New York City patented a canning process to preserve salmon, oysters and lobsters. 1883 Thomas Edison's first village electric lighting system using overhead wires began operation in Roselle, NJ. 1915 George Claude, of Paris, France, patented the neon discharge tube for use in advertising signs. 1915 More than 20 people were killed when German zeppelins bombed England for the first time. The bombs were dropped on Great Yarmouth and King's Lynn. 1937 Howard Hughes set a transcontinental air record. He flew from Los Angeles to New York City in 7 hours, 28 minutes and 25 seconds. 1942 The Japanese invaded Burma (later Myanmar). 1944 The U.S. federal government relinquished control of the nation's railroads after the settlement of a wage dispute. 1949 The salary of the President of the United States was increased from $75,000 to $100,000 with an additional $50,000 expense allowance for each year in office. 1953 Sixty-eight percent of all TV sets in the U.S. were tuned to CBS-TV, as Lucy Ricardo, of "I Love Lucy," gave birth to a baby boy. 1955 U.S. President Eisenhower allowed a filmed news conference to be used on television (and in movie newsreels) for the first time. 1966 Indira Gandhi was elected prime minister of India. 1969 In protest against the Russian invasion of 1968, Czech student Jan Palach set himself on fire in Prague's Wenceslas Square. 1971 At the Charles Manson murder trial, the Beatles' "Helter Skelter" was played. At the scene of one of his gruesome murders, the words "helter skelter" were written on a mirror. 1977 U.S. President Ford pardoned Iva Toguri D'Aquino (the "Tokyo Rose"). 1979 Former U.S. Attorney General John N. Mitchell was released on parole after serving 19 months at a federal prison in Alabama. 1981 The U.S. and Iran signed an agreement paving the way for the release of 52 Americans held hostage for more than 14 months and for arrangements to unfreeze Iranian assets and to resolve all claims against Iran. 1983 China announced that it was bannning 1983 purchases of cotton, soybeans and chemical fibers from the United States. 1993 IBM announced a loss of $4.97 billion for 1992. It was the largest single-year loss in U.S. corporate history. 1995 Russian forces overwhelmed the resistance forces in Chechnya. 1996 U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was subpoenaed to appear before a federal grand jury. The investigation was concerning the discovery of billing records related to the Whitewater real estate investment venture. 1997 Yasser Arafat returned to Hebron for the first time in more than 30 years. He joined 60,000 Palestinians in celebration over the handover of the last West Bank city in Israeli control. 2001 Texas officials demoted a warden and suspended three other prison workers in the wake of the escape of the "Texas 7." 2006 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft was launched. The mission was the first to investigate Pluto. 2013 In Scottsdale, AZ, the original Batmobile for the TV series "Batman" sold at auction for $4.6 million. It was the first of six Batmobiles produced for the show. 2021 Do smiled. |
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