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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, December 26, in 1991, The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country out of existence. On this day, when I was in Grade 4, we had a whole school exhibition of nativity sets made by the students. The store-bought and inherited ones of course usually scored the highest. I made n honest effort to beat them all. Instead of the traditional local barn style, I went to the library and looked at pictures of Bethlehem. Not one single peaked roof! Not one wooden building. So I used plaster of Paris and built a barn like they had there. And, being a bit techie infected, I put battery powered lights into the barn. Then I carved the figures out of Linden wood, a local softwood. Dad did a lot of cussing and yelling and by mid December I had all the figures carved, except for the donkey. Dad had carved that one, and it looked fantastic. On exhibition day, the teacher, whose son was also competing, parked by my nativity set and kept telling everybody, that my set was probably done by my parents. There was no point starting an argument and repeating it for every visitor. That teacher was also bragging about the new bicycle he got for Christmas. It was safely locked with a chain combination lock to the power pole. After the exhibition he found that some mysterious elf had changed the combination of his lock. He eventually got somebody to cut the chain. After that, he was very agitated and in a hurry to bicycle home, and did not check the bicycle. He got about 100 feet before he nose-died to the cobble stones. That is when he found out that bicycls do need hub nuts on their axles. They never found out who-dun-it. They suspected me, but could not prove anything. His son won the ompetition, but I laughed last. Merry Christmas! ____________________________________________________ Bonehead Award: Geneva man facing charges of attempted murder and domestic battery _____________________________________________________ Q All is in the hands of man. Therefore wash them often. --- Stanislaw J. Lec (1909 - 1966) All great truths begin as blasphemies. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) In politics, absurdity is not a handicap. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities. --- Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC) ____________________________________________________ The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, "Flushing!" each time they flushed the toilets. During one of my daughter's visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while. I was explaining how my daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn't tell me all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly we heard my daughter call out from the bathroom, "Flushing!" "Wow!" said my friend, "How much more do you want to know?" __________________________________________________ We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be performed. "Dad," our teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?" Without hesitation he quipped, "They're going to give you a phone." __________________________________________________ An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Craig G. Chaney, 45, Geneva, Illinois, USA Geneva man facing charges of attempted murder and domestic battery Geneva police on Thursday arrested 45-year-old Craig G. Chaney, of Geneva, from the 100 block of Syril Drive. Chaney is charged with attempted murder and several domestic battery charges. Police allege that Chaney had pinned down his girlfriend after an argument turned physical and twice put his hands on her neck. The woman was able to break free after stabbing Chaney's arm with a pair of scissors. Police say that another household member had phoned 911. As of Saturday morning, Chaney was listed as in custody at the Kane County Jail in St. Charles. ___________________________________________________ Jennil Modar I didn't receive any gifts for Christmas. But i got this Christmas present from beloved nature. Can't complain at all. Northern Hawk Owl December 25, 2022 Alberta Wilderness ___________________________________________________ Son: Why is Father singing to the baby so much tonight? Mother: He is trying to sing her asleep. Son: Well, If I were her, I'd pretend I was asleep. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ _______________________________________________ Deja moo: Knowing you've heard this bull before _______________________________________________ A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his wife made no attempt to restrain her three-year-old son, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, "I hope you don't mind Johnny being in there." "No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet shortly after he finds the anesthetics and poisons." __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over lunch. "I do wish that my John would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous." My Fred used to do the same thing," the other woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "Really, how?" asked the first woman. "Easy, I hid his teeth." ___________________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From:Bonita Re: Gmail full alarm Dear Webby My Gmail is getting close to the 15 GB limit. PANIK! Actually BIG PANIK! How do I trim it down? Bonita Dear Bonita There are many ways to do that. Some are quite radical. Let's start with the tame ones: Dump the trash, dump the spam. You will never look at those anyway. Since you seem to be one of the unfortunate few, who don't have MailWasher yet, you probably have tons of unwanted ads. Pick one, for example one advertising weight loss. Copy the recurring part of their address or subject, and put that into the search at the top. 27,000 of them! Click the little square above the select squares. That selects all the ones showing. Hit DELETE. They are gone in seconds. Aint't this fun! Pick the next frequent nuisance. Do the same. If you have a lot of silly movies, that you will never watch again, then search for mp4 You might even have a bunch of mp3. OK, now dump the trash again and now look at the mailbox size. Pat yourself where it feels good. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ I asked Mom if I was a gifted child... she said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me. ____________________________________________________ Today, December 26 in 1620, The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to found Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor. 1776, The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of Trenton during the American Revolutionary War. 1865, The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason. 1898, Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium. 1908, Texan boxer "Galveston Jack" Johnson knocked out Tommy Burns in Sydney, Australia, to become the first black boxer to win the world heavyweight title. 1917, During World War I, the U.S. government took over operation of the nation's railroads. 1921, The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing dominion of Great Britain. 1927, The East-West Shrine football game featured numbers on both the front and back of players jerseys. 1941, Winston Churchill became the first British prime minister to address a joint meeting of the U.S. Congress. 1941, U.S. President Roosevelt signed a resolution that set a fixed-date, the fourth Thursday of November, for the Federal Thanksgiving Day holiday. 1943, The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the North Sea, during the Battle of North Cape. 1944, Tennessee Williams' play "The Glass Menagerie" was first performed publicly, at the Civic Theatre in Chicago, IL. 1947, Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The severe weather was blamed for about 80 deaths. 1953, "Big Sister" was heard for the last time on CBS Radio. The show ran for 17 years. 1956, Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to overthrow the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters were killed. 1982, The Man of the Year in "TIME" magazine was a computer. It was the first time a non-human received the honors. 1986, Doug Jarvis, age 31, set a National Hockey League (NHL) record as he skated in his 916th consecutive game. Jarvis eventually set the individual record for most consecutive games played with 964. 1986, "Search for Tomorrow" was seen for the last time on CBS-TV. The show had been on the air for 35-years. 1990, Garry Kasparov beat Anatoly Karpov to retain the chess championship. 1991, The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country out of existence. 1995, Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the Palestinian Authority. 1996, Six-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey was found beaten and strangled in the basement of her family's home in Boulder, CO. 1998, Iraq announced that it would fire on U.S. and British warplanes that patrol the skies over northern and southern Iraq. 1999, Alfonso Portillo, a populist lawyer, won Guatemala's first peacetime presidential elections in 40 years. 2000, Michael McDermott, age 42, opened fire at his place of employment killing seven people. McDermott had no criminal history. 2002, The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement was made the December 27 by Clonaid. 2004, Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 500-mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. The tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen countries, including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, Thailand and India. 2022 Do smiled.
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