Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, February 4 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 4, in 1997 A civil jury in California found O.J. Simpson liable in the death of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Goldman's parents were awarded $8.5 million in compensatory damages. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Teacher Flew To Florida, Left Her Kids Home Alone ___________________________________________________ It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. --- William G. McAdoo (1863 - 1941) ___________________________________________________ Bubba and Jed took parachuting lessons, and were arguing about who was best at folding a parachute. Unable to resolve their dispute on the ground, they decided to go up in a plane and judge by the midair performance of their parachutes. Bubba jumped first, pulled his cord, and started floating down towards the earth. Then Jed jumped, pulled his cord and nothing happened; he pulled his safety cord- nothing. In a matter of seconds he whizzed past Bubba, plummeting like a stone. "Oh," shouted the Bubba, yanking off his harness, "so ya wanna race, do ya?!" ____________________________________________________ Donna Bloski Female Downy Woodpecker Edmonton Jan 28, 2022 ____________________________________________________ About 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Mr. Alan Pinkerton. He was actually the beginning of the Secret Service. Since that time federal police authority has grown to a large number of agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, SS, ATF, etc. Now Congress is considering a proposal for another agency: The "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service." Can't you see it now? The new service in their black uniforms with their initials in large white letters across their backs? FATASS ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kerry Caviasca, 36, Watertown, Connecticut, USA Teacher Flew To Florida, Left Her Kids Home Alone A Connecticut teacher left her two children at home alone while she vacationed with her boyfriend in Florida, according to investigators who say the woman told the minors to stay out of sight in the residences basement and just eat candy for dinner. Kerry Caviasca, 36, was arrested Saturday on reckless endangerment and risk of injury charges in connection with her three-day trip to the Sunshine State in late-November. Caviasca is free on $5000 bond in advance of a January 25 Superior Court hearing. Police began investigating Caviasca after her ex-husband reported that she had left the children, ages 9 and 11, alone in a Watertown residence. Seen above, Caviasca, who has primary custody of the boy and girl, is a middle school teacher in the Waterbury school district. As detailed in an arrest affidavit, Caviascas former spouse provided cops with a series of incriminating texts she exchanged with her children while she was out of town. Both of you stay in the basement, wrote Caviasca, who advised the children to avoid the upstairs of the residence and Jus staying downstairs. When one child asked, are we going into school, no right, Caviasca replied, no. On a Sunday evening, when one of the children asked, what are we going to have for dinner, Caviasca answered, Just eat candy Im sorry and what ever is downstairs. She added, Ill make it up to you. Caviasca, cops charge, wanted the children to stay out of sight in the basement. When one of the minors asked, Can I pee, Caviasca replied, Quick no lights. After one of the children wrote, Im sad I put my batteries upstairs, Caviasca suggested that the child could go upstairs super fast, but noted, stay low so no one sees you. When police last month confronted Caviasca, she admitted spending a weekend in Florida with her boyfriend, but claimed that her brother had stayed with the children. Both juveniles, however, told cops that they were left home unsupervised, with one of the children saying that, only their dog was with them. Caviascas son told police that his mother left snacks to eat and that she ordered Uber Eats for the children several times. The boy recalled that his mother advised not to go upstairs and to stay in the basement. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Tammie Re: Real person contacts Dear Webby Once upon a time, long, long ago, when I still had a memory, you told us about a site, where you could get a real person, not just a brainless voice menu. PLEASE give me the URL for that site again, before I take my marble rolling pin to somebody's empty head! Thanks Tammie Dear Tammie To make it really easy to remember, they picked a good name: https://gethuman.com By the way, I got one of those marble rolling pins too, in case you dare to come by and show me how to bake stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help!" "Sure it does, " he grinned, "this way I can see the numbers." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ I noticed the neighbor down the street was home and sitting on his porch every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened . . . Turns out his boss got sick and tired of him. ______________________________________________ Mark went into a convenience store to prepay for gasoline and returned with two plastic bottles of soda. As he filled the tank, his wife opened a bottle. To her dismay it fizzed and foamed all over her lap. Several miles down the road, Mark asked for his soda. Handing it to him, She warned, "Be careful. These are really over-carbonated." But when Mark opened his bottle, it barely hissed. Eyes on the road, he nonchalantly said, "You must have gotten the one I dropped." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Six-year-old Jay's father was a rector in a small church. One day, his father told Jay that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Jay became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet the bishop. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Jay bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Jay was very excited about the opportunity to do this. His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishop's room and then say to him, "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up." Jay was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally, morning came and Jay rehearsed his lines. He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and nervous though, that his lines got mixed up and Jay said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 4, in 1783 Britain declared a formal cessation of hostilities with its former colonies, the United States of America. 1789 Electors unanimously chose George Washington to be the first president of the United States. 1824 J.W. Goodrich introduced rubber galoshes to the public. 1847 In Maryland, the first U.S. Telegraph Company was established. 1861 Delegates from six southern states met in Montgomery, AL, to form the Confederate States of America. 1895 The Van Buren Street Bridge opened in Chicago, IL. 1901 "Captain Jinks of the Horse Marines" opened in New York City. 1904 The Russo-Japanese War began after Japan laid siege to Port Arthur. 1913 Louis Perlman received a patent for his demountable tire-carrying rims. 1932 The first Winter Olympics were held in the United States at Lake Placid, NY. 1936 Radium E. became the first radioactive substance to be produced synthetically. 1945 During World War II, U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet leader Josef Stalin began a conference at Yalta to outline plans for Germany's defeat. 1948 Ceylon gained independence within the British Commonwealth. The country later became known as Sri Lanka. 1957 Smith-Corona Manufacturing Inc., of New York, began selling portable electric typewriters. The first machine weighed 19 pounds. 1968 The world's largest hovercraft was launched at Cowes, Isle of Wight. 1973 The Reshef was unveiled as Israel's missile boat. 1974 Patricia (Patty) Hearst was kidnapped in Berkeley, CA, by the Symbionese Liberation Army. 1976 An earthquake in Guatemala and Honduras killed more than 22,000 people. 1985 U.S. President Ronald Reagan's defense budget called for a tripling of the expenditure on the "Star Wars" research program. 1993 Russian scientists unfurled a giant mirror in orbit and flashed a beam of sunlight across Europe during the night. Observers saw it only as a momentary flash. 1997 A civil jury in California found O.J. Simpson liable in the death of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. Goldman's parents were awarded $8.5 million in compensatory damages. 1997 Two Israeli troop-carrying helicopters collided on their way to Lebanon, all 73 soldiers and airmen aboard were killed. 1997 President Milosevic of Serbia apparently surrendered to the will of his people, ordering his government to recognize opposition victories in local elections held in November 1996. 1997 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 600th National Hockey League (NHL) goal during his 719th game. Lemieux reached the milestone second fastest in history. Gretzky had reached the plateau during his 718th game. 1998 In northeast Afghanistan, at least 5,000 people were killed in an earthquake that measured 6.1 on the Richter Scale. 1999 Warplanes from Israel attacked south Lebanon just after rockets were fired toward Israel. No casualies were claimed on either side. 1999 Amadou Diallo, an unarmed West African immigrant, was shot and killed in front of his Bronx home by four plainclothes New York City police officers. The officers had been conducting a nighttime search for a rape suspect. 2000 Austrian President Thomas Klestil swore in a coalition government that included Joerg Haider's far-right Freedom Party. European Union sanctions were a result of the action. 2003 Yugoslavia was formally dissolved by lawmakers. The country was replaced with a loose union of its remaining two republics, Serbia and Montenegro. 2004 The social networking website Facebook.com was launched. 2021 Do smiled. |
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