Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, November 30 Thank you, Cheryl! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida man tried to break into car, was arrested by 3 Pasco deputies waiting inside Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, November 30 in 1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King Charles XII died on this day. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. --- Herman Wouk (1915 - ) Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke. --- Lynda Barry ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "The Census Bureau reported that Las Vegas is about to pass Washington, D.C. in population. Of course, there's a huge difference Vegas and Washington. See, in Las Vegas, people gamble with their own money." ---Jay Leno _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My husband and I found a charming bed-and-breakfast nestled in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Though enchanted, I nonetheless had some questions about the accommodations. "Does the room have its own bath?" I asked. Nodding, the proprietor answered, "If no one else comes, it does." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Jim's doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When Jim goes home to share the bad news with his wife, she asks what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left. "All I want," Jim tells his beloved wife, "is to spend my last few hours reliving our honeymoon." Which is exactly what they did. But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that she's tired and wants to go to sleep. "Oh, come on," Jim whispers in her ear. "Look," his wife snaps, "I've got to get up in the morning. You don't!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Titland, 49, New Port Richey, Floriduh Florida man tried to break into car, was arrested by 3 Pasco deputies waiting inside If you're going to break into a vehicle, you typically want to make sure it isn't an unmarked Sheriff's Office vehicle and that there aren't deputies inside that vehicle. That's what happened last Wednesday in Pasco County. The night before, several home owners caught a man on video as he tried to burglarize seven vehicles on Hawbuck Street in the Trinity Oaks neighborhood. However, all the doors were locked and nothing was stolen. The next day, Stephen Titland, 49, tried to burglarize an unmarked Pasco Sheriff's Office vehicle on Murrow Street in New Port Richey. At the time, the vehicle was occupied by the Strategic Targeted Area Response team, who promptly arrested him. Analysts positively identified him as the same man from the previous night's attempted burglaries. At the time of the arrest, Titland was on felony probation for a burglary/criminal mischief conviction in Pinellas County. Maybe he was homesick for jail? _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Holly Re: Picture clarity Dear Webby, Why are some pictures on the net and in email so fuzzy and others are sharp and clear? is that because of the type of camera used? Holly Dear Holly Usually that has nothing to do with the camera, but with how the camera was used, and especially how the pictures were saved. Some people are on slow servers and have to reduce the size of their files, so that they finish loading before the visitor's attention span runs out. That is done by chosing a high compression ratio. With the JPG files, that are commonly used on the web, the compression is "lossy". When pixels are thrown away, color depth and clarity naturally suffers. "Lossy" means, those pixels are lost, blown away in the wind. You can never get them back. This is made even worse if a picture is edited and saved multiple times. Each time the compression loses more pixels and the picture gets fuzzier and more washed out looking. If the picture is yours, save an original copy in PSP or PNG or PSD format. Those don't lose pixels. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. >From Jean: We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, our 3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
>From Cynthia A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with "1 John 4:18" which reads "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake "John 4:18": "For you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheap Pillar Candle By Louise [2 Posts] Pillar candles can be expensive for holiday arrangements or weddings. I discovered a cheaper way to make one. Dollar Tree has battery operated candles that are 3 inches in diameter by approximately 4 inches tall for $1.00 each. Buy two candles and stack them turning the bottom one upside down and the top one wick end up. Attach a piece of coordinating ribbon where the two candles meet taping or gluing the connection and making sure you do not attach too tight as you will need to lift the top candle out in order to turn on the switch under it. You can reverse the candles when the battery is used up in the top one. Add greenery or other decorations as desired. This is safe and reasonably priced! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com font> ____________________________________________________ When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned this the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated," but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation." __________________________________________________ Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists? --- Kelvin Throop III ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, November 30, in 1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King Charles XII died on this day. 1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. 1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to France. 1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz Mexico declared war on France. 1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope. 1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first pepper shaker with a screw-on cap. 1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine. 1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its first commercial exhibition. 1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire. The structure had been constructed for the International Exhibition of 1851. 1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help. 1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking. 1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock weighed 8-pounds. 1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News" three hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was the world's first broadcast via videotape. 1962 U Thant of Burma was elected secretary-general of the United Nations, succeeding the late Dag Hammarskjold. 1966 The former British colony of Barbados became independent. 1981 The U.S. and the Soviet Union opened negotiations in Geneva that were aimed at reducing nuclear weapons in Europe. 1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S. President Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired national security staffer Oliver North as a "national hero." 1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco Inc. with a bid of $24.53 billion. 1989 PLO leader Yasser Arafat was refused a visa to enter the United States in order to address the U.N. General Assembly in New York City. 1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill. The bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases and background checks of prospective buyers. 1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire Bankers Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's largest financial institution. 2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed up with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys R Us provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley. 2004 In Stockholm, Sweden, the Carl Larsson painting "Boenskoerd" ("Bean Harvest") was sold at auction for $730,000. The work had been in a private collection for more than a century. The Larsson work "Vid Kattegatt" ("By Kattegatt") sold for $640,000 at the same auction. 2017 Do smiled. |
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