Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, July 12 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! _____________________________________________________ Today, July 12 in 1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was patented by William W. Lyman. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Floriduh inmate sent postcard ordering another prisoner's murder ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. --- Calvin Trillin Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. --- Henry David Thoreau A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. --- Herm Albright _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: My husband, Mike, and I had several stressful months of financial difficulties. So, one evening, I was touched to see him gazing at the diamond wedding ring that symbolized our marriage. "With this ring..." I began romantically. "We could pay off half of your Visa," he responded. ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by White (left) is seen above with Yeomans (center) and Florez. Charles White, 40, Pasco County jail Florida Floriduh inmate sent postcard ordering another prisoner's murder July 10--A Florida inmate mailed a postcard to a second inmate soliciting the murder of a third inmate, according to police who noted that all three prisoners are housed in the same county lockup. Investigators say that Charles White, 40, and Shaun Yeomans, 41, are documented members of criminal white supremacist gangs. Both men are convicted felons with lengthy rap sheets who are currently locked up in the Pasco County jail on separate narcotics charges. In a complaint affidavit, investigators allege that White last month mailed a postcard to his associate Yeomans that solicited the killing of Lionel Florez, a 21-year-old inmate who has been held in the Pasco lockup since his May arrest for possession of methamphetamine and marijuana. While White is housed separately from Florez, Yeomans apparently resides near the younger prisoner. White wanted Florez killed to avenge the death of White's son, who was killed at the hands of Florez's brother, the affidavit states. After jailers intercepted the hit request, White reportedly confessed to sending the postcard and wanting Florez dead. White added that if he was housed with Florez, he would kill him himself. White was charged yesterday with soliciting Florez's murder. The felony count was added to White's current roster of charges, which includes meth trafficking, grand theft, and violating probation. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Mike Re: Full size IE Dear WebbTech help again Don't know what happen but now when I open another page on internet explorer but it comes up half page now. If I remember you had a fix for this. It was coming up full page and now like I said it's half page or smaller. If you can help let me know. Everything I have tried doesn't work Mike Dayton NV Dear Mike The default behavior for Internet Explorer is to open at the same size it was at the last time it was closed. While the default does apply in many cases, it's not always consistent. Try the following workaround: Open a single Internet Explorer window to the smaller size. Drag the corners of the window until it nearly fills the screen. Do not use the maximize button to enlarge the window. Hold down the Ctrl key, and while holding it down use the mouse to click File and then Exit on the toolbar. NOTE: Do not use the "X" in the upper right corner to close the window. Internet Explorer should now open in a full window. If it still opens to a smaller size repeat the above but this time us the "Shift" key instead of the "Ctrl" key. NOTE: This is NOT a permanent fix. Internet Explorer will mess up this setting in a month or less. Print out these instructions and put them into the "Cheat Sheets" ziplock bag taped to the side of the computer. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance. "Shucks, I'd sooner spend my money on a cow," said the farmer. "Ah," replied the salesman, "but think how silly you'd look riding around on a cow." "Humph!" retorted the farmer. "Not near as silly as you'd look trying to milk a bicycle!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Moisha Rabinowitz in the late 1930s fled his native land of Germany. He sold all his assets and converted it to gold and then had 5 sets of solid gold false teeth made. When he arrived in New York the customs official was perplexed as to why anybody would have 5 sets of gold teeth. So Moisha explained. "We Orthodox Jews have two separate sets of dishes for meat products and dairy products but I am so kosher and religious I also have separate sets of teeth." The customs official shook his head and said, "Well that accounts for two sets of teeth. What about the other three?" Moisha then said "Vell us very religious Orthodox Jews use separate dishes for Passover, but I am so religious I have separate teeth, one for meat and one for dairy food. The customs official slapped his head and then said, "You must be a very religious man with separate teeth for food and dairy products and likewise for Passover. That accounts for four sets of teeth. What about the fifth set?" "Vell to tell you the truth, once in a while I like a ham sandwich." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Grapes Costume Get a purple sweat suit and attach a bunch of purple balloons to it so it looks like a bunch of grapes. Put on a purple beanie and purple face paint to finish off the costume. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Mesmerizing Physics Demonstration |
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap" Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Everytime her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?" The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows." And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. ___________________________________________________ A local fisherman is returning from a fishing trip with 6 large size salmon in his creel. Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing. "Yes!" replied the stalwart. Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he had used chewing tobacco. Parker asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and the fisherman replied, "I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal way, cast in the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back on the line to hook it. When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with the butt of my rod! __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
My sister-in-law Bonnie was very busy one day working in her house. She had just gotten to the basement after quite a few trips up and down, when she heard the telephone ring upstairs. Tiredly, she ran back up the stairs only to hear a solicitor on the other end... "Hello, is this Bonnie D? We are calling people in your area and would like to know if you would help us by participating in a brief survey." Without missing a beat, she told them: "I am BUSY, survey your own briefs!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, July 12 in 1096 Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia, Bulgaria. There they met their Byzantine escort, which brought them safely the rest of the way to Constantinople. by August 1. 1543 England's King Henry VIII married his sixth and last wife, Catherine Parr. 1690 Protestant forces led by William of Orange defeated the Roman Catholic army of James II. 1691 William III defeated the allied Irish and French armies at the Battle of Aughrim, Ireland. 1790 The French Assembly approved a Civil Constitution providing for the election of priests and bishops. 1806 The Confederation of the Rhine was established in Germany. 1862 The U.S. Congress authorized the Medal of Honor. 1864 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed the battle where Union forces repelled Jubal Early's army on the outskirts of Washington, DC. 1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was patented by William W. Lyman. 1912 The first foreign-made film to premiere in America, "Queen Elizabeth", was shown. 1933 A minimum wage of 40 cents an hour was established in the U.S. 1941 Moscow was bombed by the German Luftwaffe for the first time. 1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" was heard on ABC radio for the first time. 1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower proposed a highway modernization program, with costs to be shared by federal and state governments. 1957 The U.S. surgeon general, Leroy E. Burney, reported that there was a direct link between smoking and lung cancer. 1960 Manufacturing began for the Etch A Sketch. 1974 John Ehrlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Nixon, and three others were convicted of conspiring to violate the civil rights of Daniel Ellsberg's former psychiatrist. 1982 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office records by surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket sales in the first 31 days of its opening. 1982 The last of the distinctive-looking Checker taxicabs rolled off the assembly line in Kalamazoo, MI. 1984 Democratic presidential candidate Walter F. Mondale named U.S. Rep. Geraldine A. Ferraro of New York to be his running mate. Ferraro was the first woman to run for vice president on a major party ticket. 1990 Russian republic president Boris N. Yeltsin announced his resignation from the the Soviet Communist Party. 1998 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals between France and Brazil. France won 3-0. 1999 Walt Disney Co. announced that it was merging all of its Internet operations together with Infoseek into Go.com. 2000 Russia launched the Zvezda after two years of delays. The module was built to be the living quarters for the International Space Station (ISS.) 2019 Do smiled. |
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