Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, June 20 Thank you Allene! Nobody could answer who Sergeant Reckless was. Remember master Chief Jim Crismon, a subscriber since the mid 90's, whose picture I featured a few times? He went upstairs and is now reading the Humor Letter from a cloud. His wife Corinne sent this picture of Jim and her in front of the bronze statue of Sergeant Reckless, the only Marine, who has a larger than life statue. _____________________________________________________ Today, June 20 in 1977 The Trans-Alaska Pipeline began operation. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Man jailed for carrying out bank robbery armed with a banana ! ! ! ! _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it. --- George Orwell "Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use." --- Wendell Johnson _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Letters to a pastor **Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville. **Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert, age 11, Anderson **Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every Thursday, even if she has a cold. Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany **Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my brother won't be there. Chrissy. Age 8, Chicago **Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you had free donuts. Lorreen Age 9. Tacoma **Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh **Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Laurence Vonderdell, 50, Bournemouth, Dorset, Britain Man jailed for carrying out bank robbery armed with a banana A man who told Barclays staff 'this is a stick up, give me the cash' while pointing a banana at them has been given a 14-month prison sentence. Laurence Vonderdell, 50, convinced staff that the banana was a gun so they handed over 1,100 in 20 bank notes. He raided the bank in Bournemouth, Dorset, leaving staff terrified. He then approached two police officers telling them that he had just carried out a bank forbbery but they did not believe him and he was sent on his way. Vonderdell then walked another two miles to a police station where he was arrested for robbery. He used the banana to hold up staff at the branch of Barclays A court heard that he carried out the robbery because he wanted to be arrested so he would have a roof over his head after being evicted. He went to a branch of Nationwide with his banana but walked out because there were too many people in the bank so went to Barclays instead. Vonderdell was witnessed pacing up and down outside the bank with the Sainsbury's carrier bag over the banana. He went inside, pointed the banana at Wendy Marsh and told her 'this is a stick up'. Jailing him Judge Robert Pawson said: 'He's gone into a bank with a banana in a plastic bag. It sounds laughable but the cashier didn't know that. 'What would have happened if an armed response unit had been called?' Detective Constable Andy Hale said: 'Even though the defendant handed himself in shortly after this incident and the cash was recovered, this must still have been a very distressing incident for the cashier involved.' DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Frieda Re: Programs on new computer Dear Webby Before nuking W10 with a W7 CD, what do I do with all the programs the new machine came with? Frieda Dear Frieda Probably none of those programs you would choose to have on your machine anyway. Don't worry about them. The coputer makers get paid for putting a 3 month version of, for example, Norton, onto the machine. That means, you have to waste time getting rid of it. The same with all kinds of other stuff, that might be cutesy, but that you will never pay for having it on the machine. In time, you will accumulate all kinds of free or trial ware programs, so don't worry about the stuff they get paid for to pollute your machine with. Put MalwareBytes on it, CrapCleaner, Spybot-Search&Destroy, and OfficeLibre or Open Office, Thunderbird or Eudora. Unlike W10, W7 does not clash and sabotage Eudora. You are free to choose your favorite email program. You also need a graphics program. If you want full power and able to design 32 foot wide billboards, get GIMP. It is free, but unless you are familiar with graphics, might be a bit overwhelming. However, there are plenty of free graphics programs out there. Get any of them and get familiar with it. Even Microsoft PAINT has been improved drastically and is now good enough for basic office use. Just load up what you actually NEED. More stuff will come along soon enough. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. >Thanks to Sandie for this report: If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Sarah Palin" in the subject line, do not open it. Instead of pictures it will contain a virus. If you get an e-mail with "Nude Photos of Hillary Clinton", do not open it. It might contain nude photos of Hillary Clinton. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Mr. Allen, a high-powered executive trying to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, "Miss Hunter, get my broker!" The client was impressed until he heard the secretary's clear voice saying, "Yes, sir, stock or pawn?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Tablecloths for Fabric If you sew, a great way to find cheap fabric is to look at garage sales for tablecloths. Even if they have a stain or two, there will be plenty of good fabric for you to use for other projects. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | A look back at 1919 in photos. |
___________________________________________________ Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me..... I know we've been friends for a long time..... but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know? -------------- If she had subscribed with her name or nickname, instead of leaving it blank like most AOLers, I would have greeted her every morning with her name. ___________________________________________________ One of our patients wasn't taking any chances. Prior to her operation, she taped notes to her body for the surgeon... "Take your time," "Don't cut yourself," "No need to rush," "Wash your hands..." After surgery, as I helped the patient back into her bed, we discovered a new note taped to her, this one from the doctor, "Has anyone seen my wristwatch?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question. "Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect the money?" ___________________________________________________ | Today, June 20 in 0451 Roman and Barbarian warriors brought Attila's army to a halt at the Catalaunian Plains in eastern France. 1397 The Union of Kalmar united Denmark, Sweden, and Norway under one monarch. 1756 In India, 150 British soldiers were imprisoned in a cell that became known as the "Black Hole of Calcutta." 1791 King Louis XVI of France was captured while attempting to flee the country in the so-called Flight to Varennes. 1793 Eli Whitney applied for a cotton gin patent. He received the patent on March 14. The cotton gin initiated the American mass- production concept. 1837 Queen Victoria ascended the British throne following the death of her uncle, King William IV. 1898 The U.S. Navy seized the island of Guam enroute to the Phillipines to fight the Spanish. 1910 Mexican President Porfirio Diaz proclaimed martial law and arrested hundreds. 1923 France announced it would seize the Rhineland to assist Germany in paying its war debts. That did not go over well. 1928 Washburn-Crosby Company merged with 26 other mills to become General Mills. 1941 The U.S. Army Air Forces was established, replacing the Army Air Corps. The Army Air Forces were abolished with the creation of the United States Air Force in 1947. 1943 Race-related rioting erupted in Detroit. Federal troops were sent in two days later to end the violence that left more than 30 dead. 1947 Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel was murdered in Beverly Hills, CA, at the order of mob associates angered over the soaring costs of his project, the Flamingo resort in Las Vegas, NV. 1963 The United States and Soviet Union signed an agreement to set up a hot line communication link between the two countries. 1967 Muhammad Ali was convicted in Houston of violating Selective Service laws by refusing to be drafted. The U.S. Supreme Court later overturned the conviction. 1977 The Trans-Alaska Pipeline began operation. 1979 ABC News correspondent Bill Stewart was shot to death in Managua, Nicaragua, by a member of President Anastasio Somoza's national guard. 1983 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that employers must treat male and female workers equally in providing health benefits for their spouses. 1997 The tobacco industry agreed to a massive settlement in exchange for major relief from mounting lawsuits and legal bills. 2002 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the execution of mentally retarded murderers was unconstitutionally cruel. The vote was 6 in favor and 3 against. 2019 Do smiled. |
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