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___________________________________________________ History: on this day, December 1, 1961, Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to lead Cuba to communism. ____________________________________________________ Bonehed Award: Man charged with decapitation of woman inside Philadelphia home _____________________________________________________ Q All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. --- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. --- Bobcat Goldthwaite ____________________________________________________ Comebacks For "Why Aren't You Married?" * Because I don't like having a 50% chance of some day losing everything that is important to me. * You haven't asked yet. * What? And spoil my great sex life? * Just lucky, I guess. * I'm waiting until I get to be your age. * I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness. * What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads? * We really want to, but my lover's husband just won't go for it. * I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck. * Why aren't you thin and top-heavy? __________________________________________________ Germans who gave the world Kindergarten may now give the world Maennergarten - a sort of Kindergarten for men - as a service to women who want to shop. For about $15, Maenner-garten provides men with two beers, a hot meal, sports on television and games to play - like a remote car or a race track, Britain's Sky News reports. "The women are issued a receipt for their partners when they hand the receipt in, they can pick them up again" says Alexander Stein, manager of a Maennergarten. According to Stein, the idea came from a female customer who was too stressed shopping with her husband and wanted a way she could shop in peace. __________________________________________________ Reported by Rock: An International Bonehead Award has been earned by Ahmad Shareef, 34, Philadelphia, USA Man charged with decapitation of woman inside Philadelphia home A man is facing charges after investigators say a woman was found decapitated inside a Philadelphia home Tuesday afternoon. A man, later identified as 34-year-old Ahmad Shareef, was arrested blocks away from the house. Prosecutors announced charges against Shareef hours after the brutal killing, including murder and abuse of a corpse. He is being held without bail. The gruesome discovery was made at a property on the 300 block of Magee Avenue just before 1 p.m., according to police. Officers found a 41-year-old woman with a severed head on the kitchen floor of the home, police said. A man, later identified as 34-year-old Ahmad Shareef, was arrested blocks away from the house. Prosecutors announced charges against Shareef hours after the brutal killing, including murder and abuse of a corpse. He is being held without bail. Neighbors who spoke to FOX 29 claimed Shareef was known for lewd, bizarre and sometimes threatening behavior. "The older I got, the more I could see something was wrong in that house," Gabriel Ramirez said. "There are young girls in that house and I don't know what they've had to endure their whole lives." Police say no children where home at the time of the gruesome murder. A witness reportedly helped identify Shareef, leading to a quick arrest. "The adults in that house are completely unhinged," one neighbor said. "It's a house of horrors, I feel bad for those children, it's devastating." According to a neighbor, Ahmad Shareef has a male domestic partner living there, but the murdered woman, Leila Al Raheel, was doing all the work. ___________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Nancy Reagan tells the story of how President Ronald Reagan was once challenged by a college student who said it was impossible for Reagan's generation to understand his. "You grew up in a different world," the student said. Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers..." Taking advantage or a pause in the student's litany, Reagan said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young. We invented them." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ The following is from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended for the High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life. 1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed. 2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift. 3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. 4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. 5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him. 6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. 7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind. 8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first. 9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax. 10. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax. Unfortunately, none of today's women have ever heard about that silly stuff, that might lead to 40 - 50 year marriages. _______________________________________________ A country lad was being interviewed for a farm laborer's job. The boss said, "You must be fit. Have you had any illnesses?" "No Sir," said the lad. The boss asked, "Any accidents?" The boy said, "No Sir." The boss said to him, "But you walked in here on crutches. You must have had an accident!" The lad said, "Oh, no Sir! I was tossed by a bull, That was no accident. He's a mean cuss and I KNOW he did it on purpose!" __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny." Johnny says, "WOW! I can see why they threw him out! ________________________________________________________ CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess Walters will be giving a talk on marriage. There will not be any Women Worth Watching this week. Child care provided with reservations. I was hungry and you gave me something to eat; I was thirty and you gave me something to drink. The visiting monster today is Rev. Jack Bains. The Boars of Trustees will be meeting Tuesday night at 8PM The activity will take place on the church barking lot. _____________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Nancy Re: No Mailwasher Dear Webby I don't have your Mailwasher. It is not free. Isn't there a free alternative? Nancy Dear Nancy It is not MY mailwasher. I am just one of the first people, who actually paid for it about 25 years ago. And no, there is no free alternative. It is too cheap to make it worth building a competitive program. Gmail has copied a lot of MailWasher, about about a quarter of it. Try that for now. Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A man and his ten-year-old son were on a ski trip miles from home. At the boy's insistence, they decided to attend the Sunday worship service at a small rural church. The father forgot to bring any cash, so he reached in his pocket and gave his son a dime to drop in the offering plate as it was passed. As they walked back to their car after the service, the father complained. "The service was too long," he lamented. "The sermon was boring, and the singing was off key." Finally the boy said, "Daddy, I thought it was pretty good for a dime." _____________________________________________________ Ophelia Dingbatter's News no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ Today, December 2 in 1804, Napoleon was crowned emperor of France at the Cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris. 1816, The first savings bank in the U.S., the Philadelphia Savings Fund Society, opened for business. 1823, U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing European expansion in the Western Hemisphere. 1901, Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first razor to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-edge razor blades. 1917, During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the eastern front. 1927, The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile. It was the successor to the Model T. 1939, New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m. 1942, A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated by Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the University of Chicago. 1954, The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy for what it called "conduct that tends to bring the Senate into dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related to McCarthy's controversial investigation of suspected communists in the U.S. government, military and civilian society. 1961, Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to lead Cuba to communism. 1969, The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. Most of the passengers were reporters and photographers. 1970, The Environmental Protection Agency began operations. 1980, The Central Committee of Polands Communist Party announced major Politburo changes. The changes were aimed at coping with labor unrest. 1982, Doctors at the University of Utah implanted a permanent artificial heart in the chest of retired dentist Barney Clark. He lived 112 days with the device. The operation was the first of its kind. 1988, Benazir Bhutto was sworn in as prime minister of Pakistan. 1989, V.P. Singh was sworn in as prime minister of India. 1990, Chancellor Helmut Kohl's coalition won the first free all-German elections since 1932. 1990, The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. The earthquakes did not occur. 1992, Germany's lower house of parliament voted in favor of the Maastricht Treaty on European unity. 1993, The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to fix the Hubble Space Telescope. 1994, The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of allegedly fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. A deal was made with GM under which the company would spend more than $51 million on safety and research. 1995, NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1 billion dollar mission intended to study the sun. 1997, U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an independent counsel investigation of telephone fund- raising by President Clinton and Vice President Gore. She had concluded that they had not violated election laws. 1998, Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100 million to help immunize children in developing countries. 1999, The British government transferred political power over the province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive. 2001, Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The filing came five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 2010, NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based life form 2022 Do smiled.
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