Good Morning, Do! Today is Saturday, October 23 Thank you, Jerry! Thank you Elsbeth ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Women arrested for kidnapping 20-month-old child from Garland motel ___________________________________________________ Today, October 23 in 1910 Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make a public solo airplane flight in the United States. ____________________________________________________ Of those who say nothing, few are silent. --- Thomas Neill Beware of no man more than yourself; we carry our worst enemies within us. --- G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936) Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) If God had intended for man to use the metric system, he would have given us 10 commandments, not 12. --- Hillary Clinton ____________________________________________________ At the barbecue a lady stood up and said that it was time to get ready for the celebrations. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every man to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The poor bartender was almost crushed to death. ____________________________________________________ Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? A. Don't worry. Your secrets are safe. He died laughing before he could tell anybody. ____________________________________________________ White lion cubs ____________________________________________________ The manager of a large city zoo is drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sits at his computer and types: "I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience." He stares at the screen, focusing on that odd word "mongooses." He replaces the word so that the sentence reads: "I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience." Again he stares at the screen, focusing on the new word. It seems just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deletes the whole sentence and starts over. "Everyone knows no well-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose," he types. "Please send us two of them." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lashonda Price, 34, Romeisha Brown, 28, Garland, Texas, USA Women arrested for kidnapping 20-month-old child from Garland motel Garland police need help finding two of the three women seen on video taking a little boy from his mother's motel room in Garland early Sunday morning. Part of the kidnapping was caught on surveillance video. Police arrested one of three women seen on video taking a child from his mother. They need help finding the other two. Security video shows the women entering a motel on Northwest Highway in Garland just before 1 a.m. Sunday morning. Police said the women knocked on the door. They believe the mother answered thinking it was a friend. They overpowered her, grabbed her 20-month-old son and took off, police said. The mother chased them into the parking lot and wrote down the license plate number for their black SUV. Police later pulled the vehicle over during a traffic stop and arrested the driver 34-year-old Lashonda Price. The toddler was found in the vehicle and safely returned to his mother. The other two women were not in the SUV, police said. Detectives identified one of the other suspects as 28-year- old Romeisha Brown and got an arrest warrant for her. They believe the women knew the childs mother but did not say why they took him. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Maddie Re: Hockey Dear Webby, I know Hockey is a Canadian sport, but my son likes watching it. He is out of work because of refusing to take the vax, so he wants to save money on the games. Is there a way to watch the NHL games without spending a lot of money? Maddie Dear Maddie Yes, there sure is! Tell him to go to NHL 66 It shows the games live, and has a free betting simulator. The video resolution is about the same as on TV. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A tenderfoot scout is on his first camping trip. As soon as he has pitched his tent, he goes for a hike in the woods. In about 15 minutes, however, he rushes back into camp, bruised, bleeding and disheveled. "What happened?" asks his patrol leader. "I was chased by a black snake," the frightened boy cries. The older boy smiles. "A black snake isn't deadly," he says "Listen," the tenderfoot groans. "If it can make you jump off a 50-foot cliff, it is." ______________________________________________ A new addition to the periodic table of chemical elements Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: 180+ Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KID (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralizes by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment: shave, shampoo, manicure and haircut, he placed the boy in the chair. Then he said, "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade. I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut'." ___________________________________________________ | Today, October 23, in 1864 During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces led by Gen. Samuel R. Curtis defeated the Confederate forces in Missouri that were under Gen. Stirling Price. 1910 Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make a public solo airplane flight in the United States. 1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote with a march in New York City, NY. 1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression. 1942 During World War II, the British began a major offensive against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt. 1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began. 1946 The United Nations General Assembly convened in New York for the first time. 1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces entered Hungary and eventually suppress the uprising. 1956 NBC broadcast the first videotape recording. The tape of Jonathan Winters was seen coast to coast in the U.S. 1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded the Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the honor due to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the award for writing "Dr. Zhivago". 1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval "quarantine" of Cuba was approved by the Council of the Organization of American States (OAS). 1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon." 1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat Communist China. 1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair. 1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility when they exchanged treaty ratifications. 1980 The resignation of Soviet Premier Alexei N. Kosygin was announced. 1984 "NBC Nightly News" aired footage of the severe drought in Ethiopia. 1985 U.S. President Reagan arrived in New York to address the U.N. General Assembly. 1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years of Soviet rule. 1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese emperor to stand on Chinese soil. 1995 Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn Bosnia. 1998 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a land-for-peace West Bank accord. 1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II. 2000 Universal Studios Consumer Products Group (USCPG) and Amblin Entertainment announced an unprecedented and exclusive three-year worldwide merchandising program with Toys "R" Us, Inc. The deal was for the rights to exclusive "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial" merchandise starting in fall 2001. The film was scheduled for re-release in the spring of 2002. 2001 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In 2010, it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to Mars. 2021 Do smiled. |
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