Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, January 23 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Serial Stowaway Slipped Past O'Hare Security, Flew To London, got arrested there and sent back. Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, January 23 in 1920 The Dutch government refused the demands from the Allies to hand over the ex-kaiser of Germany. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Never eat more than you can lift. --- Miss Piggy Thou shalt not weigh more than your refrigerator --- Anatole France We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sherlock Holmes was sent to heaven to find Adam and Eve. He came back within a day and said he had found them. Dr. Watson questioned, "How did you find them so quickly?" Sherlock Holmes said, "Elementary, my dear Watson. They were the only ones that didn't have belly buttons." ____________________________________________________ A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face. (Whack) "What did you do that for?" the man asks. "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?" The man says, "No, but my wife out on the sidewalk still does. Watch out, though, she is a wrestling coach!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ This door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling Bibles, so he decided to become a boss, hiring three people to sell Bibles for him. He interviewed three people. The first came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you." "OK, you're hired. Here's your kit, go sell!" The second came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you." "OK, you're hired! Here's your kit; go sell!" The third came in and said, "I- i - I wa - wa- wa-want t-t-t-t-to s-s-s-s-ell to sell, to sell, to sell, Bi - bi - bi - Bibles, sell Bi -Bibles f-f-f-fo-for y-y-y-y you Bibles for you!" "No," shouted the man, "this will never work! You can't sell Bibles for me!" The applicant replied, "B-b-b-b-but I r-r-r-eall, but I really, really, n-n-n-n-need th-th-th-this, really need tthis job!" As there were no other applicants, he man said, "OK, I'll give you one shot at this, but I expect you to PRODUCE!" At the end of the can, the first applicant comes back and reports, "I sold 8 Bibles today." The second reports, "I sold 11 Bibles today." The third worker reports, "To-to-to-to t-t-today, I-i-I so- so, I so-, I so-, I so- I sold 28 Bi- bi- b- bibles!" "Great," says the man. "However, I want you to sell a lot more Bibles than that, so get out there tomorrow and MAKE ME SOME MONEY!" At the end of the first day, the first worker comes in and reports, "Today, I sold 32 Bibles." The second worker reports, "I sold 44 Bibles today." The third worker reports, "To-to-to t-today, I-i-I so- so, I so-, I sold 79 Bi-bi-bi- sold 79, sold 79 Bibles." "Fantastic," said the man, "since you're doing so well, so much better than these other two bums, why don't you tell them what your sales technique is." Replied the worker, "I-i-I j-j-j-j-ju-ju-ju-just wa, wa, wa, just wal- wa- wa- walk, just walk up to up to up to just walk up to them and and ask, them and ask, them and ask if th-th-th-th ask if they w-w-w-w-w- wa- ask if they want t-t-t-t-o-o- if they want to b--b-b-b-b if they want to buy a Bi-bi - want to buy a Bi--b--a - a- abi - buy a to buy a Bi-bi-bible, or d-d-d-d-d do th-th-they do they w-w-w-ant me to READ it to 'em?" _____________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Marilyn Hartman, 66, Grayslake, Illinois Serial Stowaway Slipped Past O'Hare Security, Flew To London, got arrested there and sent back. A 66-year-old Grayslake woman with a history of trying to sneak onto airline flights managed to slip past security and took a flight from O'Hare International Airport to London earlier this week. Chicago police say Marilyn Hartman boarded the flight Sunday afternoon without a ticket. Sources tell CBS 2 Hartman slipped by a distracted TSA agent in O'Hare's Terminal 3, somehow made it to the international terminal and slipped past a busy gate agent to board a British Airways flight to London. Sources say O'Hare security video shows Hartman had been wandering the airport for two days and no one questioned her. Once on the London-bound plane, sources say, Hartman hid in a bathroom and eventually walked out and found a seat. When she couldn't produce a passport Monday at Heathrow Airport, officials sent her back to O'Hare, where she was taken into custody Thursday. Hartman was charged Friday with one misdemeanor count of criminal trespass and one felony count of theft greater than $500, Chicago police said in a news release. She was expected to appear in bond court Saturday. In a statement, the Transportation Security Administration said: This matter is subject to an ongoing investigation and TSA is working closely with our law enforcement and airline partners in that effort. During the initial investigation it was determined that the passenger was screened at the security checkpoint before boarding a flight. Upon learning of the incident TSA, and its aviation partners took immediate action to review security practices throughout the airport. Hartman has been arrested several times on trespassing charges for trying to sneak onto planes at O'Hare and Midway, including trying to board a plane at Midway without a ticket in July 2015 less than 24 hours after being released from jail. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: framedyn.dll missing Dear Webby, Thank you for providing such pleasure and assistance. I use Spybot regularly. Recently, I have been getting a warning window when I attempt to start the Program. It reads: SPYBOTSD.EXE UNABLE TO LOCATE COMPONENT This application has failed to start because framedyn.dll was not found When you press "OK" the ap starts and runs normally. I went to help and it suggests downloading Spybot again. This did not remedy the situation. What am I doing wrong? The second question regards an external hard drive back-up of the C: drive. Should I back-up the entire C: drive including Windows and other aps? Thanks again Dave Dear Dave framdyn.dll is a Windows component, not a Spybot component. You can download it from Microsoft: http://support.microsoft.com/default.aspx?scid=kb;en-us;319114 You can use the Laplink PCMover to "move" or copy the entire drive to a remote drive, and then use that drive, if the original one fails. All programs will be automatically installed. The link to it is just below here. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. In a physics lab, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so. "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell quiet until one wise guy raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Coors?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, the father replies, "Oh, probably less than half of them." ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bacon and Cheese Stuffed Waffles By attosa [506 Posts, 2,683 Comments] I got this idea for a bacon and cheese stuffed waffle after I saw my brother use leftover Christmas ham and cheese inside of a waffle... and it was awesome! I used a simple pancake mix and just added water to make the batter. I used cheese that melts nicely; smoked gruyere and mozzarella. These waffles are fabulous on their own or with a dipping sauce of equal parts mustard and mayonnaise. Enjoy! Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 10 minutes Total Time: 15 minutes Yield: 2 servings Ingredients: 1 cup dry pancake mix 1/2 cup water 3 strips bacon 1/3 cup cheese Steps: Cook up the bacon until crisp. Reserve the bacon fat. cooking bacon in pan Brush some of the bacon fat onto the waffle maker and preheat. greasing waffle iron Mix the dry pancake mix with the water. Add half a tablespoon of the reserved bacon fat and mix well. Pour a thin layer of batter onto the hot waffle maker, then top with a single layer of bacon pieces. add bacon to thin layer of batter Roughly break up the cheese and drop onto the bacon. Cover with more pancake batter. Press down the waffle maker lid and cook for 2 to 3 minutes, or until brown and crispy. Cut in half and serve. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ On a warm spring day, Little Johnny was laying on a hill in the middle of a meadow. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God. Then he said out loud, "God? Are you really there?" To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. "Yes, Johnny? What can I do for you?" Seizing the opportunity, Johnny asked, "God? What is a million years like to you?" Knowing that Johnny could not understand the concept of infinity, God responded in a manner to which Johnny could relate. He said, "A million years to me, Johnny, is like a minute." Johnny said, "Well, then, what's a million dollars like to you?" "A million dollars to me, Johnny, is like a penny," God said. Johnny said, "Wow!" then he got an idea. He said, "You are so generous, God. Can I have just one of your pennies?" God replied, "Sure thing, Johnny! Just a minute." | | The "witness trees" of the American Civil War. |
Thanks to Martin for this story: You gotta love this old guy! I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court. I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors, green, red, orange, and blue. The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter, old man, never done anything wild in your life?" The old man did not bat an eye in his response, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, January 23, in 1556 An earthquake in Shanxi Province, China, was thought to have killed about 830,000 people. 1571 The Royal Exchange in London, founded by financier Thomas Gresham, was opened by Queen Elizabeth I. 1920 The Dutch government refused the demands from the Allies to hand over the ex-kaiser of Germany. 1937 In Moscow, seventeen people went on trial during Josef Stalin's "Great Purge." 1943 Duke Ellington and the band played for a black-tie crowd at Carnegie Hall in New York City for the first time. 1943 The British captured Tripoli from the Germans. 1950 The Israeli Knesset approved a resolution proclaiming Jerusalem as the capital of Israel. 1960 The U.S. Navy bathyscaphe Trieste descended to a record depth of 35,820 feet (10,750 meters) in the Pacific Ocean. 1968 North Korea seized the U.S. Navy ship Pueblo, charging it had intruded into the nation's territorial waters on a spying mission. The crew was released 11 months later. 1971 In Prospect Creek Camp, AK, the lowest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was reported as minus 80 degrees. 1973 U.S. President Nixon announced that an accord had been reached to end the Vietnam War. 1974 Mike Oldfield's "Tubular Bells" opened the credits of the movie, "The Exorcist". 1978 Sweden banned aerosol sprays because of damage to environment. They were the first country to do so. 1983 "The A-Team" debuted on TV. 1985 O.J. Simpson became the first Heisman Trophy winner to be elected to pro football's Hall of Fame in Canton, OH. 1989 Surrealist artist Salvador Dali died in Spain at age 84. 1997 A judge in Fairfax, VA, sentenced Mir Aimal Kasi to death for an assault rifle attack outside the CIA headquarters in 1993 that killed two men and wounded three other people. 1997 A British woman received a record 186,000 damages for Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI). 2001 A van used by the remaining two fugitives of the "Texas 7" was recovered in Colorado Springs, CO. A few hours later police surrounded a hotel where the convicts were hiding. Patrick Murphy Jr. and Donald Newbury were taken into custody the next morning without incident. 2002 John Walker Lindh returned to the U.S. under FBI custody. Lindh was charged with conspiring to kill U.S. citizens, providing support to terrorists and engaging in prohibited transactions with the Taliban while a member of the al-Quaida terrorist organization in Afghanistan. 2018 Do smiled. |
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