Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, August 8 Strange sunrise with the sun as red as a traffic light in the thick smoke. Sunrise is already almost an hour later than it was in the middle of June. Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida man set pregnant girlfriend on fire, is still on the run. Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, Aug 8 in 1844 After the killing of Joseph Smith on June 27, Bringham Young was chosen to lead the Mormons. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) We don't bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) First secure an independent income, then practice virtue. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At the gates of heaven there were two lines, with signs above them. One line was labeled "Hen Pecked Husbands", and the other was labeled "Not-Henpecked Husbands." The line labeled "Hen Pecked Husbands" was filled with men and it stretched as far far as the eye could see. The other line "Not-Hen Pecked Husbands" had only one skinny bald little man with thick glasses. After surveying the two lines, St. Peter walked over to the little man in the Not-Henpecked line, grabbed his hand and told him how amazed he was at his accomplishment, and asked him "how in the world did you do it? You are the only man in this line." The little man looked at St. Peter with a puzzled look on his face and said, "Gee mister I don't know what you are talking about, my wife told me to stand here." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students. My observations were confirmed the day a new student walked into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf. "What are all these books?" he asked. Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias. "Really?" he said. "Someone printed out the whole CD?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Walter, the stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Noel Grullon, 32, Hialeah, Florida Florida man set pregnant girlfriend on fire, is still on the run. Police say a Hialeah man who allegedly set his pregnant girlfriend on fire last month is still on the run. Noel Grullon, 32, fled the home he shared with Allyson Rivera on July 27, the day police say he set the pregnant woman on fire after she ended their six month relationship. "He is one step ahead of us," said Hialeah Police spokesperson Carl Zogby. "He hasn't gone back to work and hasn't gone anywhere expected." A nationwide warrant has now been issued for Grullon and his name has been placed in the National Crime Information Center. The day after learning Rivera was ending their relationship, Grullon started pulling drawers off cabinets and throwing them on the floor. When Rivera asked him to stop, Grullon returned with a gasoline can, poured it over her head and set her on fire. Grullon also smashed Rivera's phone so she could not call 911. Grullon is believed to have fled in a 2007 black Ford 150 pickup truck with Florida license plate HVD-E62. Rivera was hospitalized after extinguishing the flames by running to the shower. A social worker reported the domestic violence incident to police. Anyone with information is urged to call 305-687-2525 or Miami-Dade Crime Stoppers at 305-471-TIPS. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ross Re: Forward spam to the FTC Dear Webby, If everyone forwarded their spam to FTC.... Maybe Mailwasher should have an Auto Send To FTC option? Ross Dear Ross I suggested that to Nick when MailWasher was still in the experimental stage about 20 years ago, however he felt that it could lead to abuse and never implemented that. The FTC does not read the spam anyway. They simply count the number of spams that were submitted in hopes that the FTC would do something about it. The submissions are simple counted and deleted. That number is then used to establish the gullibility index, which in turn is probably used by the gas stations to regulate the pump price. Since the Government gets a fixed percentage of that, this helps paying for Senators who promote spam with legislation like the CAN-SPAM law. Have FUN! DearWebby A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds - and girth - was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership. When the salesman's pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, "Now what would it take to get you into one of these?" Looking at the Jeep's high front seat, the woman replied, "A fork lift?" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Microwave Corn on the Cob By Harlean [145 Posts, 453 Comments] You will never boil sweet corn in a kettle of water again. Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 5 to 8 minutes Total Time: 15 to 20 minute Yield: 1 or 2 Steps: Begin with ears of corn still in the husk. Cut the bottom end off, and rinse with cold water let drain. Do not peel back the husk. Place one or two ears in the microwave. Set the microwave for 5-8 minutes. If you are using 2 ears add another 3 minutes or so to the timer. You can always change the amount of time, if you like your corn cooked more. Use towel, mitts or potholders to remove the hot ears from the microwave and pull the husks off starting on the top end. The corn silk will come off clean and easily. Cut the husk off at the bottom of the ear. If you need more corn, just wrap the finished hot corn, still in the husk, in a towel while you cook more. Once the husk is removed place in a holder or on a plate and add butter and salt. You will never boil sweet corn in a kettle of water again. And then there is the traditional hillbilly method: 1) Toss the corn into the microwave and nuke it for 8 minutes 2) Cut it at the widest spot, just before it narrows to the stem. 3) Grab it at the hairy end (top) with a pot holder and squeeze hard. If you cut the stem end at the widest spot, the corn will slide out of the husk without any silk. Until you get the hang of that, you may have to re-cut the stem end. Holding it with the hairy end (top) up, and shaking it a bit also helps, if the corn is not that fresh and does not slide easily. 4) Rub some butter on the corn, sprinkle a bit of salt and fresh ground pepper, poke the two-pronged corn spikes into the ends, and enjoy! Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ | | When it's too hot for the dogs to swim outside |
____________________________________________________ >From Linda I hate the idea of going under the knife. So I was very upset when the doctor hold me I needed a tonsillectomy. Later, the nurse and I were filling out an admission form. I tried to respond to the questions, but I was so nervous I couldn't speak. The nurse patted my hand and said, "Don't worry. This medical problem can easily be fixed, and it's not a dangerous procedure." "You're right. I'm being silly," I said, "Please continue." "Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?" ___________________________________________________ | | Interesting body painting. |
___________________________________________________ An old farmer decided to visit a pond in the back of his property that he had not visited in a long time. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing. As he came closer, he discovered a bunch of young women were skinny dipping in his pond. He politely made the women aware of his presence, and soon they all moved to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The farmer replied, "Oh, don't worry about me. I didn't come down here to see you skinny dipping. I'm just here to feed the alligator." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ "I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the 411 operator. "There are multiple listings for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the operator said. "Do you have a street name?" The young man hesitated a moment, "Well, uh, most people call me Bubba." ____________________________________________________ | Today, August 8, in 1356 Edward "the Black Prince" began a raid north from Aquitaine. 1815 Napoleon Bonaparte set sail for St. Helena in the South Atlantic. The remainder of his life was spent there in exile. 1844 After the killing of Joseph Smith on June 27, Bringham Young was chosen to lead the Mormons. 1876 Thomas Edison received a patent for the mimeograph. The mimeograph was a "method of preparing autographic stencils for printing." 1899 The refrigerator was patented by A.T. Marshall. 1900 In Boston, the first Davis Cup series began. The U.S. team defeated Great Britain three matches to zero. 1940 The German Luftwaffe began a series of daylight air raids on Great Britain. 1945 After the end of World War II, the Soviet Union declared war on Japan. 1953 The U.S. and South Korea initiated a mutual security pact. 1956 Japan launched an oil tanker that was 780 feet long and weighed 84,730 tons. It was the largest oil tanker in the world. 1966 Michael DeBakey became the first surgeon to install an artificial heart pump in a patient. 1978 The U.S. launched Pioneer Venus II, which carried scientific probes to study the atmosphere of Venus. 1988 It was announced that a cease-fire between Iraq and Iran had begun. 1989 The space shuttle Columbia took off from Cape Canaveral, FL. The trip was said to be a secret five-day military mission. 1990 American forces began positioning in Saudia Arabia. 1991 John McCarthy, a British TV producer, was released by his Lebanese kidnappers. He had been held captive for more than five years. A rival group abducted Jerome Leyraud in retaliation and threatened to kill him if any more hostages were released. 1991 The U.N. Security Council approved North and South Korea for membership. 1992 The "Dream Team" clinched the gold medal at the Barcelona Summer Olympics. The U.S. basketball team beat Croatia 117-85. 1994 The first road link between Israel and Jordan opened. 1994 Representatives from China and Taiwan signed a cooperation agreement. 1995 Saddam Hussein's two eldest daughters, their husbands, and several senior army officers defected. 2000 The submarine H.L. Hunley was raised from ocean bottom after 136 years. The sub had been lost during an attack on the U.S.S. Housatonic in 1864. The Hunley was the first submarine in history to sink a warship. 2017 Do smiled. |
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