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| Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, September 21 ___________________________________________________ History on this day, september 21, in 1966, The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The spacecraft completed the first unmanned round-trip flight to the moon. ____________________________________________________ international bonehead award Oral Surgeon sentenced to 16 years in jail for child trafficking and making child porno ____________________________________________________ Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) The government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) ___________________________________________________ >From Bella We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride we talked about how the procedure would be per- formed. "Dad," our teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?" Without hesitation he quipped, "They're going to give you a phone." ____________________________________________________ Actual replies to Welfare Inquiries: "I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead." "This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?" "I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie, as I was married a week before he was born!" "In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope." __________________________________________________ reported by rock an international bonehead award has been earned by Cassidy Lavorini-Doyle, 36, Walnut Creek, Oakland, California, USA Oral Surgeon sentenced to 16 years in jail for child trafficking and making porno WALNUT CREEK It started with a bizarre nighttime incident, in a dimly lit area by an office buildings dumpsters, where a man allegedly drove up, attempted to pull a custodian into the car, and offered $30,000 to buy her two prepubescent daughters, there by her side. What began as an attempted kidnapping case has mushroomed into something that horrified even seasoned sex-crime investigators. According to court records, police have uncovered evidence that girls as young as 9 are being bought for sexual servitude in the Bay Area and linked a suspect to a cache of child pornography, evidence of overseas sex tourism, and a stash of hidden video cameras disguised as everyday household objects. That suspect is an Oakland man named Cassidy Lavorini-Doyle, 36, an oral surgeon who currently sits in a Contra Costa County jail awaiting trial on charges of human trafficking, child porn possession, and attempted kidnapping. After his arrest, the state Attorney Generals office moved to revoke Lavorini-Doyles dental license, saying the allegations gave state prosecutors grave concerns about him interacting with children. Lavorini-Doyle was briefly detained and released that evening. The following morning, he reportedly booked a $7,000 flight to Cambodia. He returned on Dec. 11 and was immediately arrested by Homeland Security agents, police said. By this point, a team of federal and state authorities, including Walnut Creek police, the FBI, the DHS, and the Contra Costa District Attorney were investigating Lavorini- Doyle. In mid-December, they served search warrants at his Oakland house, discovering dozens of secret recording devices, according to court records. We found plastic coat hooks that had hidden cameras. We found pictures with frames with hidden cameras in them. We found key fobs that had hidden camera recording devices in them, Walnut Creek Ofc. Thomas Brown testified at Lavorini- Doyles January preliminary hearing, according to court records. We found notebooks that had hidden camera recording devices in them. We found what appeared to be compact mirrors or makeup mirrors that had hidden camera and recording devices in them. Found what appeared to be an alarm clock that had what appeared to be a hidden camera and recording device in it, among other stuff. They also found more than 100 videos of child pornography, including one that depicted Lavorini-Doyle raping a prepubescent girl. The video referenced the girl as being 10 years old, but her identity is still unknown, police said. Investigators are still going through the videos to identify victims. Another box in Lavorini-Doyles garage had hypodermic needles, formula bottles for infants, plastic zip ties, and a meat cleaver, Brown testified. On Lavorini-Doyles phone, police reportedly found files that included a Cambodia sex guide for single men, as well as evidence that he had bought roughly $35,000 in gold on a trip to Cambodia. There were also receipts for transactions involving 10-year-old girls, according to police testimony. Investigators also found evidence that Lavorini-Doyle was arranging to have prepubescent girls delivered to him in the Bay Area, police said. He got sentenced to 16 years in jail. Hopefully he will get tuned up and educated! _____________________________________________________ Myrna noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. She commented, "I don't think that's going to help." "Sure it will." he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers." _____________________________________________________ Hummingbird Moth, in Calgary _____________________________________________________ There was a Sunday school in Nebraska with thriteen children between the ages 4 to 5 yrs old. When the Sunday school teacher asked everyone to raise their hand if they wanted to go to heaven. Twelve of the chidren raised their hand, all except for four year old Johnny. When the Sunday school teacher asked: "Johnny, don't you want to go to Heaven?" Johnny looked around at everyone and replied: "Not if this bunch is going." _____________________________________________________ Morning stretch of the Great Egret ___________________________________________________ A cashier In the grocery store held up a small dairy carton and yelled to an older co-worker, "How much is half-and- half?" Without a moment's hesitation and in a very patient voice, the other cashier replied, "One." _________________________________________________ dearwebby's tech support pits From: Silvia Re: Flash pictures are flat Dear Webby, The flash pictures from my digital camera all turn out flat and boring. What's the trick to make them look more realistic? Silvia Dear Silvia The trick is not to use the built in flash, EVER. If you absolutely have to use a flash to take a surprise picture of your hubby, use a remote flash attached to the flash "shoe" on top of the camera, and hold the remote flash at the end of an outstretched arm. You have probably seen pictures of old time photographers from 100 or more years ago, under a cape, holding out a flash pan at arms length and above. THAT is still the best location for the flash to get a decent 3-D result. There is one trick I have used many times: Take a bit of alu foil and deflect the built in flash to the side and up. Have FUN! Dear Webby ___________________________________________________ Here are some comments made by sports commentators that I'm sure they would like to take back: 1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing." 2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother." 3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back." 4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." 5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious." 6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." 7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces." 8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew." 9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." 10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well, is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?" _____________________________________________________ A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question? Discuss." After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer." The student received an "A" on the exam. _____________________________________________ ophelia dingbatter's news no sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt- in confirmation request. ____________________________________________________ today, september 21, in 1792, The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy. 1784, "The Pennsylvania Packet and Daily Advertiser" was published for the first time in Philadelphia. It was the first daily paper in America. 1893, Frank Duryea took what is believed to be the first gasoline- powered automobile for a test drive. The "horseless carriage" was designed by Frank and Charles Duryea. 1897, The New York Sun ran the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" editorial. It was in response to a letter from 8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon. 1931, Britain went off the gold standard. 1931, Japanese forces began occupying China's northeast territory of Manchuria. 1937, J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" was first published. 1949, Communist leaders proclaimed The People's Republic of China. 1961, Antonio Abertondo swam the English Channel (in both directions) in 24 hours and 25 minutes. 1964, Malta gained independence from Britain. 1966, The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The spacecraft completed the first unmanned round-trip flight to the moon. 1973, Henry Kissinger was confirmed by the U.S. Senate to become 56th Secretary of State. He was the first naturalized citizen to hold the office of Secretary of State. 1981, Belize gained full independence from Great Britain. 1982, Amin Gemayel was elected president of Lebanon. He was the brother of Bashir Gemayel who was the president-elect when he was assassinated. 1984, General Motors and the United Auto Workers union reached an agreement that would end the previous six days of spot strikes. 1985, North and South Korea opened their borders for their family reunion program. 1993, Russian President Boris N. Yeltsin announced that he was ousting the Communist-dominated Congress. The action was effectively seizing all state power. 1996, The board of all-male Virginia Military Institute voted to admit women. 1996, John F. Kennedy Jr. married Carolyn Bessette in a secret ceremony on Cumberland Island, GA. 2022 Do! smiled. |
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