Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, April 16  ______________________________________________________ Today, April 16 in 1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with Britain. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Today's Bonehead Award: Mom charged with abandoning 5 young kids to take trip to Myrtle Beach  ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Connie for this story: A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in 'fashion sense.' The man walks up to him and says, 'I didn't know you were into earrings.' 'Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring,' he replies sheepishly. His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, 'So, how long have you been wearing one?' 'Ever since my wife found it in my truck' ______________________________________________________`   _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor:  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Chrystal Walraven, 28, ROUND ROCK, Texas  Mom charged with abandoning 5 young kids to take trip to Myrtle Beach  A Texas mother has been charged after she allegedly left her five young children for several days last summer to take a trip to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. In August of 2018, 28-year-old Chrystal Walraven allegedly left her 15-month-old daughter with her other children, ages 3, 6, 10 and 12 years old, according to an affidavit obtained by the Austin American-Statesman Tuesday. Police waited to arrest Walraven until Feb. 11 because they needed to conduct a thorough investigation to make sure we had evidence, Rick White, a Round Rock police spokesman told the paper. Walraven told investigators she went to the beach town to look for a job and because she needed to get away with everything that was happening at home, according to the Austin American- Statesman. Police believe that she also went to visit a male friend in Myrtle Beach, KXAN reported. Round Rock officers performed a welfare check at Walraven's home after an elementary school principal learned that one of the children was tired from staying up all night changing diapers, according to the affidavit. A 10-year-old boy opened the door for officers, who said there was an overwhelming smell of feces and garbage in the home, flies in the kitchen and knives within reach of the children. According to the affidavit, the officers thought the 15-month-old girl lying under a motionless blanket might have been dead, but the child started breathing when an officer rubbed her. After Walraven returned to Texas, she told KXAN in an interview that her neighbor and the father of one of the children was supposed to be caring for all five. That father said he told Walraven he couldn't do it, but she left anyway. Her current husband had moved out of the home several weeks prior and moved out of state, according to police. Walraven faces two felony counts of second-degree abandoning or endangering a child, court records show.  
 From: Bianca Re: How to permanently block certain emails  Dear DearWebby If I age off the black list, all the known nuisances will come flooding in again. Actually, some do anyway. How do I stop them without the black list? Bianca  Dear Bianca Just make some filters with MailWasher! First look for something common in nuisance mails. For example, the Nigerian wannabe hackers that forge one of your addresses as the sender. They hack Yahoo and Amazon about once a month and get a few CD's full of addresses, then use a program to paste them as both sender and recipient. If you, like most people, send emails to yourself instead of filing important information, making a proper filter requires you to look up your IP number in the header of a legitimate mail to yourself. Then you can filter IF the sender is [your address] AND NOT [your IP number] in the entire header then dump it. While traveling, your IP number keeps changing. You get a different one at each motel. In that case, filter for a common phrase. Those Nigerian wannabe hackers all put "has been hacked" into the subject line. Simply filter for "has been hacked" in the entire header, then dump it. You will never see those emails again. You can filter for any phrase, or name or address. If your ex calls you by a private nickname or signs off with a nickname, that nobody else uses, Gotcha! Just play with the filters! It is easy, and it is a game, that is rigged in YOUR favor. YOIU win! Have FUN! DearWebby  
  Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. 
 Bambi, a young cutie, sidled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Bambi, "I have been having a funny pain right here under the heart..." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Bambi, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," said Bambi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?" 
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 After pulling a farmer over for speeding, a state trooper started to lecture him about his speed, pompously implying that the farmer didn't know any better and trying to make him feel as uncomfortable as possible. He finally started writing out the ticket, but had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?" The trooper paused to take another swat and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they are. I've never heard of circle flies." The farmer was pleased to enlighten the cop. "Circle flies are common on farms. They're called circle flies because you almost always find them circling the back end of a horse." The trooper continues writing for a moment, then says," Hey, are you trying to call me a horse's behind?" "Oh no, officer." The farmer replies. "I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers for that." "That's a good thing," the officer says rudely, then goes back to writing the ticket. After a long pause, the farmer added, "Hard to fool them flies, though." ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Selling Video Games If your kids need extra cash this summer, help them sell their old and unwanted video games on ebay. After a few months of play most video games are put on the shelf never to be played again. There are always people looking to buy used video games on ebay. Thriftyfun.com   ____________________________________________________   
  
After having my DNA done and finding out I'm 37% Viking this article was very interesting to me. 
 ___________________________________________________ Sitting in the bar George asked Johnny, 40, "How come you are not married?" Johnny: "I haven't found the right woman yet" George: "So what are you looking for?" Johnny: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, - a good cook 'n house keeper, - well and she's got to know how to handle money, - a really nice and pleasant personality is a must, - and money, she's got to have money, - and a home, a nice big house, is what she has to have." George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU" Johnny: "Oh it's okay, if she is crazy" ___________________________________________________ A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that he had been stealing building supplies for years from the lumberyard where he worked. "What did you take?" his priest asked. "Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake." "This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?" "No, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But, if you got the blueprint, I can get the lumber." ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!" The young farmer said, "Well, he's under the load of hay." ___________________________________________________  
 Today April 16 in 0069 Otho committed suicide after being defeated by Vitellius' troops at Bedriacum. 0556 Pelagius I began his reign as Catholic Pope. 1065 The Norman Robert Guiscard took Bari. Five centuries of Byzantine rule in southern Italy ended. 1175 Frederick I, Holy Roman Emperor, signed the Treaty of Montebello with the Lombard League. 1705 Queen Anne of England knighted Isaac Newton. 1746 The Duke of Cumberland defeated Bonnie Prince Charlie (and his Jacobites) at the battle of Culloden. 1818 The U.S. Senate ratified Rush-Bagot amendment to form an unarmed U.S.-Canada border. 1851 A lighthouse was swept away in a gale at Minot's Ledge, MA. 1854 San Salvador was destroyed by an earthquake. 1862 Confederate President Jefferson Davis approved conscription act for white males between 18 and 35. 1862 In the U.S., slavery was abolished by law in the District of Columbia. 1883 Paul Kruger became president of the South African Republic. 1900 The first book of postage stamps was issued. The two-cent stamps were available in books of 12, 24 and 48 stamps. 1905 Andrew Carnegie donated $10,000,000 of personal money to set up the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching. 1912 Harriet Quimby became the first woman to fly across the English Channel. 1917 Vladimir Ilyich Lenin returned to Russia to start Bolshevik Revolution after years of exile. 1922 Annie Oakley shot 100 clay targets in a row, to set a women's record. 1922 The Soviet Union and Germany signed the Treaty of Rapallo under which Germany recognized the Soviet Union and diplomatic and trade relations were restored. 1935 "Fibber McGee and Molly" premiered. 1942 The Island of Malta was awarded the George Cross in recognition for heroism under constant German air attack. 1943 In Basel, Switzerland, chemist Albert Hoffman accidently discovered the the hallucinogenic effects of LSD-25 while working on the medicinal value of lysergic acid. 1944 The destroyer USS Laffey survived immense damage from attacks by 22 Japanese aircraft off Okinawa. 1945 American troops entered Nuremberg, Germany. 1947 The Zoomar lens, invented by Dr. Frank Back, was demonstrated in New York City. It was the first lens to exhibit zooming effects. 1947 In Texas City, TX, the French ship Grandcamp, carrying ammonium nitrate fertilizer, caught fire and blew up. The explosions and resulting fires killed 576 people. 1948 In Paris, the Organization for European Economic Co- operation was set up. 1951 75 people were killed when the British submarine Affray sank in the English Channel. 1953 The British royal yacht Britannia was launched. 1967 At the Western Open in El Monte, CA, Ken Barnes Jr. became the first skeet shooter to break a perfect 400 x 400 in all four guns (.410, 28, 20, and 12 gauges). He is also the only shooter to do this with pump action guns. 1968 The Pentagon announced that troops would begin coming home from Vietnam. 1972 Apollo 16 blasted off on a voyage to the moon. It was the fifth manned moon landing. 1972 Two giants pandas arrived in the U.S. from China. 1975 The Khmer Rouge Rebels won control of Cambodia after five years of civil war. They renamed the country Kampuchea and began a reign of terror. 1978 In Orissa, India, 180 people died when a tornado hit. 1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with Britain. 1983 China shelled the Vietnam border in retaliation for raids. 1983 Brazil detained four Libyan planes en route to Nicaragua after finding weapons, explosives and ammunition on the planes. 1987 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) sternly warned U.S. radio stations to watch the use of indecent language on the airwaves. 1987 The U.S. Patent Office began allowing the patenting of new animals created by genetic engineering. 1992 Italian financier Carlo de Benedetti and 32 others were convicted of fraud in connection with the 1982 collapse of Banco Ambrosiano. 1992 The House ethics committee listed 303 current and former lawmakers who had overdrawn their House bank accounts. 1995 The European Union and Canada agreed to protect threatened fish stocks in the north Atlantic. 1996 Britain's Prince Andrew and his wife, Sarah, the Duchess of York, announced that they were in the process of getting a divorce. 1996 An Italian court found former Prime Minister Bettino Craxi guilty on charges of corruption. He was sentenced to eight years and three months in prison. 1999 Wayne Gretzky announced his retirement from the National Hockey League (NHL). 2002 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned major parts of a 1996 child pornography law based on rights to free speech. 2007 In Blacksburg, VA, a student killed 33 people at Virginia Tech before killing himself. 2019 Do smiled. 
 

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