Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, December 12 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Chandler serial burglary suspect arrested twice in a month after another spree of thefts ____________________________________________________ Today, December 12, in 1991 At the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center (SLAC) in California, the first web server outside of Europe was installed. ____________________________________________________ The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it. --- Patrick Young I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) "You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you." --- Eric Hoffer ____________________________________________________ A guy wanted to get in the temple on Yom Kippur, but without a ticket they don't let you in. He said, "Look, I just want to give a message to a friend in there." The guy at the door says, "Sorry, you got to have a ticket." The first guy replies, "Just let me in for one minute, then I'll be right out." "Alright," says the guy at the door, "but I better not catch you praying." ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, exactly the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Charles Payne, Chandler, Arizona, USA Chandler serial burglary suspect arrested twice in a month after another spree of thefts A Chandler burglary suspect has been arrested for the second time in a month for reportedly stealing from multiple businesses just weeks after being released from jail, police say. On Nov. 10, Charles Payne was arrested on five counts of third-degree burglary. He was booked into jail, but was released the following day after his first court appearance on his own recognizance. Two weeks later, police say Payne began vandalizing and stealing from Chandler businesses again. Authorities had noticed a spree of commercial burglaries off Arizona Avenue from Pecos to Ocotillo roads that occurred between Nov. 26 and Dec. 1. Using surveillance video and evidence left at the businesses, police identified Payne as the suspect in all of those cases. Officers alleged Payne committed the following crimes: Nov. 26: Damaging cash registers and stealing money from a restaurant near Arizona Avenue and Ocotillo Nov. 30: Breaking into a restaurant near Arizona Avenue and Pecos, damaging a front window and cash registers, and stealing money. Dec. 1: Breaking into a coffee shop near Arizona Avenue and Willis. He reportedly did not find any money, so he left and broke into a small grocery store in the same shopping complex to steal money just minutes later, police say. Chandler detectives took Payne into custody on Dec. 8. He is now back in Maricopa County Jail and faces four counts of third-degree burglary on no bond. He really seems to like eating the jailhouse food with his buddies. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Donny Re: Filtering email Hi Webby, Hope you're doing well. Just wondering what is the best and easiest program for filtering emails. I guess I must have made a bad click and am getting "tons" of porn emails and it's a pain in the *** filtering them one at a time in gmail. Thanks, Stay well and Merry Christmas, Donny Dear Donny I have used MailWasher since the late 90s. Http://mailwasher.com Actually, I am proud to say, I was one of the first few to not only download it, but to send a voluntary donation to Nick. It filters a lot of stuff right out of the box, but With MailWasher you can really play the filters game, and always win! You can use all the regular expressions and conditions, for exampls CONTAINS, but does not contain, but if, etc. You just pull down the rules, and type in the conditions. Initially you will feel almost overwhelmed withh all the goodies, but you will soon be laughing when you see how it cleans up your incoming mail. You can, of course, also make GOOD filters, to safeguard certain mails, even if they have words in them, that normally condemn them to the trash. That is aother major bonus! You can set it to automatically trash mail from your Mother-in-law. without downloading it or even show her name or subject line in the list. In the old days, when we had much slower speeds, it made a huge difference when MailWasher dumped spam right on the server, without ever downloading it. For example, you make a filter to automatically dump mail, wihout even listing it, if it contains Chinese or Korean charcters. If they can't use my language, then I don't want to waste time on them anyway. Their support is probably the best in the world. Two weeks ago a subscriber had a tricky problem using different mail servers. I could not untangle them and suggested he write ti Jeremy, their support. Jeremy offered to log into his machine and quickly did a custom setup for him and he was very pleased and happy. He will be a lifetime user like me! Have FUN! DearWebby A fifth grader is heading to school one morning when his mother stops him and says, "The neck tag on your shirt is hanging out." "I know," the boy says. "It's a fad some of the guys started." Day in and day out, the tag at the back of his neck sticks out until one morning his mother says, "I can't stand it. Every time I see that, I want to fix it for you," and she gently tucks the tag in place and rumples his hair. The youngster smiles slyly and says, "Yeah, all the girls do, too." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a tramp steamer to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard." Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor. The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?" ______________________________________________ Former Philadelphia mayor Frank Rizzo on his view of the cause of crime: "The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
An elderly retired couple were driving down the East coast, when they stopped in Georgia for a fuel stop. The elderly woman was very hard of hearing, and usually asked her husband to repeat everything. An elderly station attendent came to the car and started filling the fuel tank. Making idle talk, he asked if the man liked the weather, to which the man replied, "very much". What'd he say?, asked the woman. "He asked if I like the weather, and I told hime yes", replied her husband. "Where are you-all headed", asked the attendant. "Oh, we're going to Jacksonville", he repied. "What'd he say?", asked the woman. "He asked where we're going, and I told him to Jacksonville", the husband replied. "Where are you-all from", inquired the attendant a few moments later. "Oh, we're from Maine," the man replied. "Ah, I was in Maine for two years while I was in the Air Force, replied the attendant. In fact, I dated a girl from Maine while I was there. It didn't last long though. I have to tell you, that girl was the worst cook I ever knew." "What'd he say?" inquired the woman. "He said he thinks he knows you," replied her husband. ___________________________________________________ | Today, December 12, in 1791 The Bank of the United States, also known as the First Bank, opened for business in Philadelphia, PA. 1792 In Vienna, 22-year-old Ludwig van Beethoven received one of his first lessons in music composition from Franz Joseph Haydn. 1800 Washington, DC, was established as the capital of the United States. 1870 Joseph H. Rainey of South Carolina became the first black lawmaker to be sworn into the U.S. House of Representatives. 1896 Guglielmo Marconi gave the first public demonstration of radio at Toynbee Hall, London. 1897 The comic strip"The Katzenjammer Kids" (Hans and Fritz), by Rudolph Dirks, appeared in the New York Journal for the first time. 1899 George Grant patented the wooden golf tee. 1900 Charles M. Schwab formed the United States Steel Corporation. 1901 The first radio signal to cross the Atlantic was picked up near St. John's Newfoundland, by inventor Guglielmo Marconi. 1912 The Mother's Day International Association was incorporated with the purpose of furthering meaningful observations of Mother's Day. 1915 The first all-metal aircraft, the German Junkers J1, made its first flight. 1917 Father Edward Flanagan opened Boys Town in Nebraska. The farm village was for wayward boys. In 1979 it was opened to girls. 1925 The "Motel Inn," the first motel in the world, opened in San Luis Obispo, CA. 1937 Japanese aircraft sank the U.S. gunboat "Panay" on China's Yangtze River. Japan apologized for the attack, and paid $2.2 million in reparations. 1946 A United Nations committee voted to accept a six-block tract of Manhattan real estate to be the site of the UN's headquarters. The land was offered as a gift by John D. Rockefeller Jr. 1947 The United Mine Workers union withdrew from the American Federation of Labor. 1951 The U.S. Navy Department announced that the world's first nuclear powered submarine would become the sixth ship to bear the name Nautilus. 1955 It was announced that the Ford Foundation gave $500,000,000 to private hospitals, colleges and medical schools. 1955 British engineer Christopher Cockerell patented the first hovercraft. 1963 Kenya gained its independence from Britain. 1966 The film "A Man for All Seasons" premiered in New York City. 1975 Sara Jane Moore pled guilty to a charge of trying to kill U.S. President Ford in San Francisco the previous September. 1982 20,000 women encircled Greenham Common air base in Britain in protest against a proposed site of U.S. Cruise missiles there. 1983 Car bombs were set off in front of the French and U.S. embassies in Kuwait City. Shiite extremists were responsible for the five deaths and 86 wounded. Total of five bombs went off in different locations. 1984 In a telephone conversation with U.S. President Reagan, William J. Schroeder complained of a delay in his Social Security benefits. Schroeder received a check the following day. 1985 248 American soldiers and eight crewmembers were killed when an Arrow Air charter crashed in Gander, Newfoundland after takeoff. 1989 Britain forcibly removed 51 Vietnamese from Hong Kong and returned them to their homeland. 1989 Leona Helmsley was fined $7 million and sentenced to four years in prison for tax evasion. 1991 At the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center (SLAC) in California, the first web server outside of Europe was installed. 1994 The Brazilian Supreme Court acquitted former President Fernando Collor de Mello of corruption charges that had forced him to resign in 1992. 1994 IBM stopped shipments of personal computers with Intel's flawed Pentium chip. 1995 The U.S. Senate stopped a constitutional amendment giving Congress authority to outlaw flag burning and other forms of desecration against the American flag. 1995 Two French airmen shot down over Bosnia arrived home after almost four months of being held captive by the Bosnian Serbs. 1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, the international terrorist known as "Carlos the Jackal," went on trial in Paris on charges of killing two French investigators and a Lebanese national. He was convicted and sentenced to life in prison. 1997 The U.S. Justice Department ordered Microsoft to sell its Internet browser separately from its Windows operating system to prevent it from building a monopoly of Web access programs. 2000 The U.S. Supreme Court found that the recount ordered by the Florida Supreme Court in the 2000 U.S. Presidential election was unconstitutional. U.S. Vice President Al Gore conceded the election to Texas Gov. George W. Bush the next day. 2000 Timothy McVeigh, over the objections of his lawyers, abandoned his final round of appeals and asked that his execution be set within 120 days. McVeigh was convicted of the April 1995 truck bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, OK, that killed 168 and injured 500. 2000 The Texas Rangers signed Alex Rodriguez to a record breaking 10-year, $252 million contract. The contract amount broke all major league baseball records and all professional sports records. 2001 Gerardo Hernandez was sentenced to life in prison for being the leader of a Cuban spy ring. His conviction was based on his role in the infiltration of U.S. military bases and in the deaths of four Cuban-Americans whose planes were shot down five years before. 2001 In Beverly Hills, CA, actress Winona Ryder was arrested at Saks Fifth Avenue for shoplifting and possessing pharmaceutical drugs without a prescription. The numerous items of clothing and hair accessories were valued at $4,760. 2002 North Korea announced that it would reactivate a nuclear power plant that U.S. officials believed was being used to develop weapons. 2021 Do smiled. |
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