Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, July 25 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida woman arrested after she duped 85-year-old widower for $300 K, left him bankrupt Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 25 in 0326 Constantine refused to carry out the traditional pagan sacrifices. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ And that's the world in a nutshell, an appropriate receptacle. --- Stan Dunn The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. --- Paula Poundstone People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" "Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. >From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big crash. "Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says, 'Bridge Out' instead?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered. "How could you think I would forget?" Whereupon he left for the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolate and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful 'Hot Fudge Sundae Day' in all my life!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nancy Guy, 49, Pembroke Pines, Floriduh Florida woman arrested after she duped 85-year-old widower for $300 K, left him bankrupt A 49-year-old woman is accused of defrauding an 85-year-old Pembroke Pines man who was seeking a relationship after the death of his wife, police said. Nancy Guy was arrested Thursday on a first-degree grand theft charge. Woman arrested for trying to run over ex-boyfriend, police say Pembroke Pines police said Guy took more than $300,000 from the man, leaving him bankrupt. According to a Pembroke Pines police report, Guy contacted the man on an online dating website and became involved in a relationship with him. Police said she introduced herself as Anna Miller and told the man, during the course of their relationship, that she needed money to expand her business. Police said Nancy Guy claimed that a flood in her warehouse destroyed $400,000 worth of dresses that she had made and promised to pay him back if he helped her, advancing funds from his credit card to her PayPal account. The alleged scam went on from 2013 until November 2015, when the man told Guy that he didn't have any more money. He turned to his son for help, but his son wasn't buying it and alerted police. Police said Nancy Guy called the man and asked him why he had filed a police report about her. During their conversation, Nancy Guy claimed that her phone was broken and promised to call him when she got a new one, but that was the last he heard from her, according to the report. The man told police that he had his car repossessed and had to file for bankruptcy because of Nancy Guy's scam. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lee Re: Mail attachments won't open Dear Webby, Sometime I try to open a piece of mail. A window comes down saying to large for word pad to open. And asks if I want note pad to open it,if i say yes it opens in computer language. which I cant read. What can I do about this. I am 73 yrs old and am a novice at the computer Thank you Lee Dear Lee If you get weird stuff like that, trash it. Trash it without even trying to open it. It's just not worth the hassle. If it does not open normally, it is probably some virus or worm and could really make life difficult. So, when in doubt, trash it. There is plenty of normal mail that opens without hassle. Have FUN! DearWebby "How was your blind date?" a college student asked her 21 year old roommate. "Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so bad about that?" "He was the original owner, and his nurse was in the back seat." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Pet Hair Off Wood Floors Best Answer By Lizzyanny [9 Posts, 1,388 Comments] As a retired cleaning lady I have tried them all. My favorite is the Hoover Flair stick vacuum. It is light and easy to maneuver. You would need to find it online. My second favorite is a cottom dust mop. It is very effective except for having to occasionally wash the mophead. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ >From Kim At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yeth, they uthed to be," remorsed the patient. ___________________________________________________ | | Are you brave enough to ride some or all of these trains? |
___________________________________________________ A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the Monsignors advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door: 1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp. 2. There are 10 Commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 Disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass. 10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T" 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body. He did not say "Eat me." 12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry." 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God. 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a Peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's. | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo, your country house caretaker." "Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?" "That's the one." "Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh well...what did he die from?" "From eating rotten meat." "Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?" "Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses." "Dead horse? What dead horse, Mr. Arnaldo?" "Why those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all that work pulling the water cart." "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire." "What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for???" "For the funeral." "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!!!!!" "Your mother-in-law's! She showed up one night, out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver." SILENCE.................... "Arnaldo, if you broke that driver, you are fired!" ____________________________________________________ | Today, on July 25, in 0326 Constantine refused to carry out the traditional pagan sacrifices. 1394 Charles VI of France issued a decree for the general expulsion of Jews from France. 1564 Maximillian II became emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. 1587 Japanese strong-man Hideyoshi banned Christianity in Japan and ordered all Christians to leave. 1593 France's King Henry IV converted from Protestantism to Roman Catholicism. 1759 British forces defeated a French army at Fort Niagara in Canada. 1799 Napoleon Bonaparte defeated the Ottomans at Aboukir, Egypt. 1805 Aaron Burr visited New Orleans with plans to establish a new country, with New Orleans as the capital city. 1845 China granted Belgium equal trading rights with Britain, France and the United States. 1850 Gold was discovered in the Rogue River in OR. 1854 The paper collar was patented by Walter Hunt. 1861 The Crittenden Resolution, which called for the American Civil War to be fought to preserve the Union and not for slavery, was passed by the U.S. Congress. 1866 Ulysses S. Grant was named General of the Army. He was the first American officer to hold the rank. 1871 Seth Wheeler patented perforated wrapping paper. 1907 Korea became a protectorate of Japan. 1909 French aviator Louis Bleriot flew across the English Channel in a monoplane. He traveled from Calais to Dover in 37 minutes. He was the first man to fly across the channel. 1914 Russia declared that it would act to protect Serbian sovereignty. 1924 Greece announced the deportation of 50,000 Armenians. 1941 The U.S. government froze all Japanese and Chinese assets. 1943 Italian Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini was overthrown in a coup. 1946 The U.S. detonated an atomic bomb at Bikini Atoll in the Pacific. It was the first underwater test of the device. 1952 Puerto Rico became a self-governing commonwealth of the U.S. 1978 Louise Joy Brown, the first test-tube baby, was born in Oldham, England. She had been conceived through in-vitro fertilization. 1984 Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya became the first woman to walk in space. She was aboard the orbiting space station Salyut 7. 1994 Israel and Jordan formally ended the state of war that had existed between them since 1948. 1999 Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. He was only the second American to win the race. 2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000 internal reports involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan from 2004- 2010. 2017 Do smiled. |
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