Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, February 11 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 11, in 1993, Janet Reno was appointed to the position of attorney general by U.S. President Clinton. She was the first female to hold the position. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Woman Crashes Into Boca Raton Police Car, and was Charged With DUI Woman Crashes Into Boca Raton Police Car, and was Charged With DUI ___________________________________________________ A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to. --- Granville Hicks (1901 - 1982) ___________________________________________________ Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds! ___________________________________________________ BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN 6-7 lb. chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing 1 cup uncooked popcorn salt/pepper to taste small palstic bag and duck tape Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing. Put the popcorn into a small heavy duty plastic bag and seal thoroughly with duck tape. Tape up the chest opening of the chicken with duck tape. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the front of the oven. Listen for popping sounds. When the chicken blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it is done. And, you thought I couldn't cook. ____________________________________________________ Peter King Black Squirrel in Fish Creek Park, Calgary 09/02/22 ____________________________________________________ According to John, Viagra has some side effects that cause headaches. He said every time he takes some, Amy, his wife instantly gets a head ache. ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Neimaria Rodrigues, 36, Boynton Beach, Florida, USA Woman Crashes Into Boca Raton Police Car, Charged With DUI A Boynton Beach woman is facing a DUI charge after allegedly crashing into a Boca Raton Police car stopped at a traffic light. Neimaria Rodrigues of Boynton Beach, according to a police report, crashed into the unmarked car in the area of 200 North Dixie Highway around 9:40 p.m. Saturday night. The just-released arrest report says Rodrigues was driving a white Ford Explorer with a Massachusetts tag. I observed in open view two empty cans of Truly Hard Seltzer, an alcoholic beverage in the open drivers side door pocket, wrote the officer called to the scene to investigate the crash. There also was a case of Truly that randomly found its way under the Ford with no one taking ownership of it. (A crime scene technician) collected the case of Truly and put it into evidence. Rodriguez, according to the investigative report, was coming from an unknown pizza restaurant in Pompano Beach or Boca Raton She was coming southbound on North Dixie Highway approaching the intersection of NW 2nd Street when she saw the (unmarked police car) stopped in front of her with a green traffic signal. She stated she tried to stop by pressing on the brake, however, she was unable to stop in time and crashed into the back of the unmarked police car. It should be noted while speaking with Rodrigues, her eyes were extremely bloodshot and glazed. I also could smell an odor of alcoholic beverage emanating from her breath Police say Rodriguez had problems completing multiple field sobriety tests, then claimed she couldnt understand implied consent and ultimately refused to provide a breath sample. Neimaria Rodrigues, 36, of Stonehenge Circle in Boynton Beach was jailed for Driving Under The Influence DUI Damage To Property. She was booked into jail at 3:40 a.m. Saturday and released on her own recognizance just after 7 a.m. A court date is pending. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Fran Re: File uploader Dear Webby What do you recommend for uploading files to the web? It's just pictures and some simple web pages with mostly just text about our seniors club. What complicates it is that various members want to have the ability to upload stuff without having to go through me. Fran Dear Fran There used to be dozens of uploaders, but Filezilla beat them all. It is simple and easy, and 100% predictable. You get it at Filezilla I have used it for about 30 years and never had a problem with it. With Filezilla, the same as with ANY uploader, you have to INSIST that anybody, who wants to upload anything, first download what is up there to their computer, edit and update that, and THEN upload the edited version. If they don't do that, then they trash all previous versions. You will have to be the big meanie and change the password whenever somebody trashes the old, existing vesion by just barfing new stuff up there and not edit the existing stuff. It is also a good idea that you periodically download your site and save it with a name indicating the date or version, so that when somebody messes up, you have a safety copy. That applies to ALL uploaders, not just Filezilla. Have FUN! DearWebby Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing beside her. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A 6 year old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees". When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs." ______________________________________________ Colonel Jack: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Colonel Jack: I always call my drivers by their last names. What's your last name, driver? Driver: It's Sweetheart, sir. Colonel Jack: Drive on, Alfred. ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Neville the Aborigine had been out of work for a long time, and when he was offered the job at the council as a garbage collector he decided to take it up. On his first day things were going great until he arrived at one house and noticed there was no wheelie bin out the front. Neville thought to himself, "I wanna do a good job and not get fired from here but if they find out I missed one house then I will get fired." So he went up to the door and knocked on it. To his surprise it was a fellow Aborigine who answered. Neville breathed a sigh of relief and said to the other bloke, "Where's ya bin?" The man replied, "I bin on 'olidays," Neville then said, "Na, maite, where's ya BIN?" "I bin on 'olidays I tell ya," was the reply. Neville, slightly frustrated, says, "Na, ya blimey idiot. Where's ya Wheelie Bin?" The other bloke looked round to see who might be listening. "Well," he said. "I weally bin in jail but I'm tellin' everyone I bin on 'olidays, aiy!" ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 11, in 1752, The Pennsylvania Hospital opened as the very first hospital in America. 1808, Judge Jesse Fell experimented by burning anthracite coal to keep his house warm. He successfully showed how clean the coal burned and how cheaply it could be used as a heating fuel. 1812, The term "gerrymandering" had its beginning when the governor of Massachusetts, Elbridge Gerry, signed a redistricting law that favored his party. 1858, A French girl, Bernadette Soubirous, claimed to have seen a vision of the Virgin Mary near Lourdes. 1878, The first U.S. bicycle club, Boston Bicycle Club, was formed. 1929, The Lateran Treaty was signed. Since then Italy recognized the independence and sovereignty of Vatican City. 1936, Pumping began the process to build San Francisco's Treasure Island. 1937, General Motors agreed to recognize the United Automobile Workers Union, which ended the current sit-down strike against them. 1943, General Dwight David Eisenhower was selected to command the allied armies in Europe. 1945, During World War II, the Yalta Agreement was signed by U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet leader Josef Stalin. 1957, The NHL Players Association was formed in New York City. 1958, Ruth Carol Taylor was the first black woman to become a stewardess by making her initial flight. 1960, Jack Paar walked off while live on the air on the "Tonight Show" with four minutes left. He did this in response to censors cutting out a joke from the show the night before. 1968, The new 20,000 seat Madison Square Garden officially opened in New York. This was the fourth Garden. 1972, McGraw-Hill Publishing Co. and Life magazine canceled plans to publish an autobiography of Howard Hughes. The work had turned out to be fake. 1975, Margaret Thatcher became the first woman to head a major party in Britain when she was elected leader of the Conservative Party. 1979, Nine days after the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini returned to Iran (after 15 years in exile) power was seized by his followers. 1982, ABC-TV's presentation of "The Winds of War" concluded. The 18-hour miniseries cost $40 million to produce and was the most-watched television program in history at the time. 1982, France nationalized five groups of major industries and 39 banks. 1984, The tenth Space Shuttle mission returned to Earth safely. 1990, Nelson Mandela was freed after 27 years in captivity. 1990, In Tokyo, Japan, James "Buster" Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson in the tenth round to win the heavyweight championship. 1993, Janet Reno was appointed to the position of attorney general by U.S. President Clinton. She was the first female to hold the position. 2000, The space shuttle Endeavor took off. The mission was to gather information for the most detailed map of the earth ever made. 2000, Great Britain suspended self-rule in Northern Ireland after the Irish Republican Army (IRA) failed to begin decommissioning (disarming) by a February deadline. 2002, The six stars on NBC's "Friends" signed a deal for $24 million each for the ninth and final season of the series. 2006, In Texas, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a quail hunt. 2016, It was reported that scientists had detected gravitational waves. The waves had been detected on September 14, 2015 by the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory (LIGO) detectors in Livingston, LA, and Hanford, WA. 2021 Do smiled. |
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