Good Morning, Do, Today is Friday, October 27 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Thank You, Janice!! Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: 34-year-old man charged in fatal shooting of 6 year old Justin Evans Jr Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Oct 27 in 1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new synthetic yarn. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin. --- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A recent study found out which days men prefer to have sex. It was found that men preferred to engage in sexual activity on the days that started with the letter "T". Examples of those days are as follows: Tuesday Thursday Thanksgiving Today Tomorrow Thaturday Thunday In Australia, it's the days ending with "ee" like Mondee, Tuesdee, Wednesdee, Thursdee, Fridee, Saturdee and Sundee. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ While ferrying workers back and forth from our offshore oil rig, the helicopter I was in lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in a lake. Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat belt, inflated his life vest, and jerked open the exit door. "Don't jump!" the pilot yelled. "This thing is supposed to float!" As the man leapt from the helicopter into the lake, he yelled back, "Yeah, and it's supposed to FLY too!" ------------------------ By the way, you are NOT supposed to inflate the life jacket until AFTER you are through the door. You might not make it through the door with an inflated life jacket, and really annoy the people behind you, having to stab your life jacket to let the air out. ______________________________________________________ Just came across this pictrue I took a few years ago. A rock formation about 80 Miles south of Globe, Arizona, and a few miles east of the highway. Doesn't she look like she is getting into a foul mood from waiting a lot longer than planned ? _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert Anderson, 34, Milwaukee 34-year-old man charged in fatal shooting of 6 year old Justin Evans Jr 34-year-old Robert Anderson is now charged in connection with the death of six-year-old Justin Evans Jr., and Evans Jr.'s family got to look him in the eyes for the first time Tuesday, October 24th. Evans Jr. was fatally shot near 23rd and Finn in Milwaukee on July 22nd. He was stuck by a stray bullet while visiting his grandmother's home- as he was about to head up to Green Bay with family for a fishing trip. Anderson faces the following charges: First degree reckless homicide, as a party to a crime, use of a dangerous weapon, habitual criminality repeater Possession of a firearm by a felon, habitual criminality repeater He will probably plead guilty to reduced charges and be out on the street again way too soon. According to the criminal complaint, a confidential witness spoke with police about this case- and identified Anderson as the shooter in this incident. The witness was present at the time of the shooting. The witness told police Anderson was at 23rd and Finn and "was yelling at someone" to "get off (Anderson's) (expletive) block." The witness told investigators he saw Anderson "in the middle of the street, with a firearm in his right hand, running northbound toward 23rd and Finn." Anderson was "firing his handgun while he ran" and the witness indicated he "could see the handgun 'bucking up' in Anderson's hand while Anderson fired." According to the criminal complaint, a confidential witness spoke with police about this case- and identified Anderson as the shooter in this incident. The witness was present at the time of the shooting. The witness told police Anderson was at 23rd and Finn and "was yelling at someone" to "get off (Anderson's) (expletive) block." The witness told investigators he saw Anderson "in the middle of the street, with a firearm in his right hand, running northbound toward 23rd and Finn." Anderson was "firing his handgun while he ran" and the witness indicated he "could see the handgun 'bucking up' in Anderson's hand while Anderson fired." Little Justin Evans Jr. was struck in the heart. "When I turned and looked, blood was just coming out of him like a faucet," Kloss said. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mark Re: Lots of fake bounces Dear Webby, I use one email address to send mail, but a whole bunch of different ones to receive mail, so that it automatically gets sorted to billing, quotes, follow-up, support, etc. Those addresses are on the sites, and I can't change them, even though by now they are probably on most spammer's CDs because of their robots collecting them off the web. Now the spammers forge those addresses as their sender address, and I get all the bounces when they send spam to no longer existing addresses or addresses that are protected by MailWasher. You are probably in the same boat. How do YOU deal with the deluge of bounces? Mark Dear Mark yes, I am indeed in the same boat. Yesterday my MailWasher trashed over 2700 mails like that. Life sure would be tough without it! I use a filter that I made many years ago, when Senator McCain (or his staff) forged my old Yukon address as the sender address of their spam. The challenge is dealing with different subject lines. The more stupid and incompetent an ISP is, the more likely he will use a non-standard subject line for a bounce. To catch as many as possible you have to check for keywords in those subject lines. Make a filter that looks at the "Subject", select: "Regular Expression contains" and into the expression field paste this: (everything between the lines all one line, not wordwrapped like here) ------------------- failure delivery|Failure notice|DELIVERY FAILURE|failed delivery|returned mail|undeliverable|Delivery Status|Delivery notification|Undelivered|bulk email|Mail delivery ------------------ Then make a second criteria looking at the TO line. select: does NOT contain and into the data field put your normal send address. Just that send address, not the many recipient addresses that you use. Set the filter to delete, not report, hide. Hit OK, and it's done. There is no point reporting it, since the re-sender is just an incompetent ISP, who is too stupid to tell the difference between a forged and a real address, and cheerfully sends a bounce to a different IP number than where it came from. As far as spam reporting is concerned, it's no longer spam, but a moron malfunction. You can analyze the bounces. What you will find is that the bouncerd mail came from an open proxie or the machine of some gullible fool, who downloaded silly toolbars that included a trojan program, and now sends out spam on behalf of one or more spammers. The second criteria is quite important. It allows legitimate bounces to get to you. If one of your clients changes their email address without telling you, you need to know that, especially if it is your invoice that bounces back. If you have more than one legitimate sender address, use a regular expression there too, and separate the addresses with a pipe | . Have FUN! DearWebby It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27. attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate WITHOUT FORGETTING TO: 45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich 49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO: 51. give her lots of attention, but expect little for himself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes 54. give the authority, but never expect her to be responsible, because after all, it is the man's fault for giving her the authority. 55. give her the last word, no matter what the cost to his life and limb AND IT IS VERY IMPORTANT: 54. Never to forget:* birthdays, * anniversaries and * arrangements she makes with or without telling him about them. How To Make A Man Happy: 1. Show up naked 2. Fix him something to eat | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Thans to Jan for this story: The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget... this particular Sunday sermon... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice that all others could hear, "Mom, what is butt dust?" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Swimming Noodle For Padding Bed Rails By Mardrey M. Bed rail padded with swim noodle. My husband has became bedridden and always hurting himself on bed railing. I picked up some swimming noddles and cut them the long way and wraped the top rail. Pipe insulation is out of season so I went with swimming noodles. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six." __________________________________________________ | | The most beautiful cemetery that was left out of "10 Historic Cemeteries that made death beautiful." Staglieno is the largest open air art museum in the world. Acres of marble monuments and statues. |
One night George got really drunk. In the morning, he rolled over and sleeping peacefully beside him was the scariest girl he'd ever seen. Very quietly, he slipped his arm out from under her, got up, and dressed as fast as he could. He put a twenty-dollar bill on the bureau and started to tip-toe out. Just then he felt a tug on his pant leg. Looking down, he saw a girl just as scary loking as the one in the bed. She looked up at him, smiled a toothless smile, and asked, "What? Nothing for the bridesmaid?" ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A marine biologist was telling his friends about some of his most recent research findings. "Some whales can communicate at a distance of 300 miles," he said. "What the heck would one whale say to another 300 miles away?" asked his sarcastic friend. "I can't be sure," he expert said, "but it sounds something like 'Can you hear me now?'" ____________________________________________________ | Today, October 27, in 1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the first Quakers to be executed in America. 1795 The United States and Spain signed the Treaty of San Lorenzo. The treaty is also known as "Pinckney's Treaty." 1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other seven failed. 1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George "Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence to convict him, only two of his associates were convicted. 1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was the first rapid-transit subway system in America. 1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in New York. 1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 26' 2 1/4". 1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new synthetic yarn. 1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring Groucho Marx, premiered on ABC. It was later shown on NBC television. 1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. They had been married on January 14, 1954. 1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis by calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis in Turkey. U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new aspect of the agreement. 1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for their progress toward achieving a Middle East accord. 1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the U.S. prison population had exceeded one million for the first time in American history. 1997 The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 554.26 points. The stock market was shut down for the first time since the 1981 assassination attempt on U.S. President Reagan. 2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected leftist leader. 2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second largest banking company in the U.S. 2017 Do smiled. |
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