Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 27 ___________________________________________________ International Bonehead Award Perp Groped Drive-Thru Worker At PA McDonald's _____________________________________________________ Today, October 27 in 1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new synthetic yarn. _____________________________________________________ Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes. --- Aaron McGruder A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. --- Burt Bacharach (1928 - ) _____________________________________________________ An FBI agent was talking to a bank teller after the bank had been robbed for the third time by the same bandit. "Did you notice anything special about the man?" he asked. Yes, he seems to be better dressed each time," the teller replied. _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A young boy walked up to his father and asked, "Dad, does a lawyer ever tell the truth?" The father thought for a moment. "Yes, son. Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Jenkins, 23, Upper Darby, Pennsylvania, USA Perp Groped Drive-Thru Worker At PA McDonald's A Pennsylvania man was charged yesterday with an assortment of crimes after he allegedly reached into a McDonalds drive-thru window and fondled a female employee working the night shift. According to a probable cause affidavit, Michael Jenkins, 23, and another man walked up early Thursday morning to the eatery in Upper Darby, a Philadelphia suburb. Jenkins, seen at right, reportedly flirted with the 31-year-old McDonalds employee, and offered to pick her up later that day for a date. The worker, police reported, ignored Jenkins. Before departing the window, Jenkins reached in and grabbed the womans breast, cops say. After the victim shut the window, she spoke with a McDonalds manager who then called 911. Jenkins went from the fast food restauarant to a nearby bar, where he was arrested by cops. Jenkins was charged with indecent assault, public drunkenness, harassment, and disorderly conduct. He was later freed on an unsecured $30,000 bond. When Jenkins was confronted by an officer, he admitted to being at the McDonalds, according to the affidavit. Yea I am a ladies man, Jenkins told the cop. That girl over there wants me, he added, referring to the McDonalds employee. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Annie RE: Eye Injections Dear Webby, Aren't you do for eye injections this week? Or are they cancelled because of Covid? Annie Dear Annie They are due on Friday, October 30. Nothing has been cancelled. That means Saturday, Sunday and Monday I won't be nagging for any leftover coins, and won't send out any newsletters. Enjoy your vacation! Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ >From Ann My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in Huntington Beach, California. Our waitress looked like a real surfer girl: athletic with a great tan and blonde hair. Mulling over the menu, my guy asked her if the roast beef was rare. The waitress gave us a stare and replied, "Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day." ____________________________________________ An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, who disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money." ____________________________________________ "A new study shows that licking the sweat off a frog can cure depression. The down side is, the minute you stop licking, the frog gets depressed again." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today October 27 in 1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the first Quakers to be executed in America. 1787 The first of the Federalist Papers were published in the New York Independent. The series of 85 essays, written by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay, were published under the pen name "Publius." 1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other seven failed. 1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George "Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence to convict him, only two of his associates were convicted. 1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was the first rapid-transit subway system in America. 1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in New York. 1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 26' 2 1/4". 1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new synthetic yarn. 1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. They had been married on January 14, 1954. 1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis by calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis in Turkey. U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new aspect of the agreement. 1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for their progress toward achieving a Middle East accord. 1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the U.S. prison population had exceeded one million for the first time in American history. 1997 The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 554.26 points. The stock market was shut down for the first time since the 1981 assassination attempt on U.S. President Reagan. 2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected leftist leader. 2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second largest banking company in the U.S. 2020 Do smiled. |
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