Good Morning, Do, Today is Wednesday, January 31 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Walmart Locks High-Theft Items, Gets Slapped With Racism Lawsuit Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, January 31 in 1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) In politics, absurdity is not a handicap. --- Napoleon Bonaparte People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest. --- Hermann Hesse ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused and bowed his head, for a moment, before starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of his messages, "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good sermon." "How come He doesn't do it?" she asked. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Cookie for this report: SILLY LAWSUITS In 1997, Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch (M-LAW) began a contest to expose how frivolous lawsuits, and a concern about potential frivolous lawsuits, have led to a new cultural phenomenon: the wacky warning label. A warning on an electric router made for carpenters cautions: "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." A warning label found on a baby stroller cautions the user to "Remove child before folding" A prescription of sleeping pills says, "Warning: May cause drowsiness A sticker on a toilet at a public facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan actually warns: "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." A massage chair warns: "DO NOT use massage chair without clothing.... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving." A snowblower warns: "Do not use snowthrower on roof." A dishwasher carries this warning: "Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher." A CD player carries this unusual warning: "Do not use the Ultradisc2000 as a projectile in a catapult." An "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter cautions, "Do not use near fire, flame or sparks" A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use "while sleeping or unconscious" A container of underarm deodorant says, "Caution: Do not spray in eyes" A cartridge for a laser printer warns, "Do not eat toner" A household iron warns users: "Never iron clothes while they are being worn" A label with a hair dryer reads, "Never use hair dryer while sleeping" A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: "Not intended for highway use" A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, "Do not drive with sunshield in place" A Bathroom Heater says: "This product is not to be used in bathrooms" A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: "May irritate eyes" A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: "Caution - Risk of Fire" A box of birthday cake candles says: "DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity." On a washing machine: "Check contents to ensure no pets are sleeping under the laundry." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Panther chameleon, lives in Madagascar, and is 17" - 20" long. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Kati for this story: The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Essie Grundy, 43, Perris, California Walmart Locks High-Theft Items, Gets Slapped With Racism Lawsuit When Essie Grundy walked into the Walmart in the Riverside County, California, town of Perris, she had to get assistance to get a 49-cent comb out of a locked case. Now, she's filing a lawsuit. Why, you may ask? Well, according to KCBS-TV, the comb is a product predominantly stolen by African-Americans and according to Grundy, the chain was engaging in racial discrimination by putting the comb behind a locked case. I originally got the product from the Walmart in Riverside and it was such a good product, I wanted to introduce it to my older children, Grundy said at a news conference Friday. They didn't have any more at the original Walmart that I got it from, so I went to my neighborhood one, and that's when I noticed all of the African-American products was locked up under lock and key. We have different textured hair than other people, she added. I just feel that we should be treated equally, noting that blacks shouldn't be treated differently just because of a complexion. Walmart said they don't care about skin color, their computer just notices which items get stolen the most. If an item never gets stolen, then it won't be locked up. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Clyde Re: Folder tasks Dear Webby, I have had no trouble before trying to print pictures~~until today~~I click on start~~then My Pictures~~ when pictures appear, I select the one I want to print. Up until today there was always a column to the left of the pictures that says "Print this picture"! Now that column has disappeared and a column appears~~ PICTURE TASKS 1. Make a new folder 2. Publish this folder to the web 3. Share this folder. I don't have any pictures in folders~~they are all in alphabetical order! I need to get the column back that says "Print this picture"! If you can help I will greatly appreciate it! Thank you! Clyde Dear Clyde On my machine I have to right-click a picture to get the OPEN PRINT EDIT etc menu. But I am using the fast Classical Mode. To get Folder Tasks, you need to switch to Task mode. Click on TOOLS, Folder Options, General and in there select "Show common tasks in folders" APPLY OK Then, if you have folders showing in the left column, close those, and your basic task list is back. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Her: "How's your history paper coming?" Him: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research and it's been very helpful. Her: "Really?" Him: "Yes! So far I've located 17 people who sell them!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old girl died. On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years." His wife looked at him aghast. "My Aunt Emma!" she cried. "I thought she was YOUR Aunt Emma!" ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Discretionary Vs. Mandatory Spending When making a budget, be sure to identify Discretionary and Mandatory expenses. Mandatory expenses are things like health insurance and rent that you cannot afford to do without. Discretionary expenses are things that aren't crucial to you or your families existence like a NetFlix subscription or eating out. When times get rough financially or when you want to save money for something, you can start by eliminating discretionary expenses from your monthly budget. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ A rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? Very commendable. What does she say?" The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!" | | Russia's original Silicon Valley. |
PETA upset at Six Flags roach contest GURNEE, Ill. --People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants Six Flags Great America to scrap its Halloween-themed cockroach-eating promotion. A spokeswoman for the animal rights organization says the contest at the amusement park's FrightFest is "gratuitously cruel." The park in Gurnee, Ill., is joining other Six Flags parks in offering unlimited line-jumping privileges to anyone who eats a live Madagascar hissing cockroach. The bugs are up to three inches long. The contest begins next month. Amusement park officials are defending their menu choice. Great America spokesman Jim Taylor says the bugs are nutritious, high in protein and fat free. It is rumored that since the bugs routinely beat PETA officials in IQ tests, the bugs may contain intelligence boosting proteins. ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, January 31, in 1606 Guy Fawkes was executed after being convicted for his role in the "Gunpowder Plot" against the English Parliament and King James I. 1747 The first clinic specializing in the treatment of venereal diseases was opened at London Dock Hospital. 1858 The Great Eastern, the five-funnelled steamship designed by Brunel, was launched at Millwall. 1865 In America, General Robert E. Lee was named general-in-chief of the Confederate armies. 1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was passed by the U.S. House of Representatives. It was ratified by the necessary number of states on December 6, 1865. The amendment abolished slavery in the United States. 1876 All Native American Indians were ordered to move into reservations. 1893 The trademark "Coca-Cola" was first registered in the United States Patent Office. 1917 Germany announced its policy of unrestricted submarine warfare. 1929 The USSR exiled Leon Trotsky. He found asylum in Mexico. 1930 U.S. Navy Lt. Ralph S. Barnaby became the first glider pilot to have his craft released from a dirigible, a large blimp, at Lakehurst, NJ. 1934 Jim Londos defeated Joe Savoldi in a one-fall match in Chicago, IL. The crowd of 20,000 was one of the largest crowds to see a wrestling match. 1944 During World War II, U.S. forces invaded Kwajalein Atoll and other areas of the Japanese-held Marshall Islands. 1945 Private Eddie Slovik became the only U.S. soldier since the U.S. Civil War to be executed for desertion. 1946 A new constitution in Yugoslavia created six constituent republics (Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, Slovenia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Macedonia) subordinated to a central authority, on the model of the USSR. 1950 U.S. President Truman announced that he had ordered development of the hydrogen bomb. 1958 Explorer I was put into orbit around the earth. It was the first U.S. earth satellite. 1971 Astronauts Alan B. Shepard Jr., Edgar D. Mitchell and Stuart A. Roosa blasted off aboard Apollo 14 on a mission to the moon. 1971 Telephone service between East and West Berlin was re-established after 19 years. 1982 Sandy Duncan gave her final performance as "Peter Pan" in Los Angeles, CA. She completed 956 performances without missing a show. 1983 The wearing of seat belts in cars became compulsory in Britain. 1983 JCPenney announced plans to spend in excess of $1 billion over the next five years to modernize stores and to accelerate a repositioning program. 1985 The final Jeep rolled off the assembly line at the AMC plant in Toledo, OH. 1990 McDonald's Corp. opened its first fast-food restaurant in Moscow, Russia. 1995 U.S. President Clinton invoked presidential emergency authority to provide a $20 billion loan to Mexico to stabilize its economy. 1996 In Columbo, Sri Lanka, a truck was rammed into the gates of the Central Bank. The truck filled with explosives killed at least 86 and injured 1,400. 2000 An Alaska Airlines jet crashed into the ocean off Southern California. All 88 people on board were killed. 2001 A Scottish court in the Netherlands convicted one Libyan and acquitted a second in the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, that occurred in 1988. 2018 Do smiled. |
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