Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, November 11 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Colorado man sets moms home on fire while trying to clear cobwebs with blowtorch ___________________________________________________ Today, November 10 in 1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. ____________________________________________________ Pay no attention to what the critics say... Remember, a statue has never been set up in honor of a critic! --- Jean Sibelius (1865 - 1957) An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. --- Simon Cameron (1799 - 1889) By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. --- Socrates ____________________________________________________ Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible." The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God." "She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?" "Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me." ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ A missionary discovered a tribe of Indians who had never recorded a baptism, confirmation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every beaming couple that walked by. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!" ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jon Charles Streckenbach, 39, Longmont, Colorado, USA Colorado man sets moms home on fire while trying to clear cobwebs with blowtorch A Colorado man was arrested this week for setting his moms house on fire after using a blowtorch to clear cobwebs, the sheriffs office said. Jon Charles Streckenbach, 39, was arrested on suspicion of first-degree arson, criminal mischief causing $20,000 to $100,000 in damages, possession of a controlled substance, and violation of a protection order, the Boulder Daily Camera reported. Fire authorities responded to a fire at a home in the 8800 block of Vermillion Road, north of Longmont just before 4:30 p.m. Monday. Fire personnel upon arriving could see smoke coming from the roof of the single-story, single-family residence, the Boulder County Sheriffs office said in a press release. Investigators say the man acknowledged using a blowtorch to clear cobwebs in the crawlspace under the home, and he tried to put out the fire for an hour by himself before calling emergency crews. The fire was extinguished by around 5:30 p.m. No one was injured in the fire, but it caused around $100,000 in damages. According to an affidavit, the man had a court order barring him from being within 100 feet of the home and being around his mother, who lived in the house. His mother told investigators she had been allowing him to stay at the home recently because he is homeless. Authorities say the man also was in possession of a small bag of methamphetamine. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Cindy Re: Excel 2007 Dear Webby I can get Excel 2007 for $49. Would that not be better than Open office Calc? Cindy Dear Cindy No. Open Office Calc 2021 has all the 2021 security features and improvements, and it is free. Microsoft will not provide updates for Excel 2007, but Open Office has frequent and free updates. Have FUN! DearWebby | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!" The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Mr. Johnson, just how old are you?" "98!" Johnson announced proudly. The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again. . . Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You're practically one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?" The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it don't hurt!" ______________________________________________ Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom. So the friend asked him how he managed to keep the neighbors chickens away. "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?" "One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I wasn't bothered by his chickens after that." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place. They put up a big bold sign which read: "WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!" Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign: "WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS" ___________________________________________________ | Today, November 11, in 1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at the Melbourne jail at age 25. 1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers. 1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the United States. 1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany. 1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman. 1921 The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 1938 Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" on network radio. 1940 The Jeep made its debut. 1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France. 1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal. 1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100- story John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine. 1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund. 1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the second largest computer company. 1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million dollars in New York. 1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison. 1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still living in his country voluntarily. 1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was halted later due to local opposition. 1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War. 1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United States. 1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off 10,000 employees. 1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart. 1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the Palestinians. 2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight AIDS in India. 2021 Do smiled. |
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