Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, November 19 Ice Age is Coming! In the late 60's and early 70's the consensus of the grant applicants, ahem "Scientists", was that the earth was cooling and that we were headed for a guaranteed ice age. I told them that was bullshit, that the earth was simply going through cycles. Just read the Farmer's Almanach! By the mid 70's, when the whining against our muscle cars had reached full volume in the lamestream media, the cooling was over and we got into the warming cycle, that I had predicted. Al Gore, Dementocrat wannabe-president, who claimed he had invented the Internet, then promptly invented Gullible Warming and with his much hyped "Inconvenient Truth" made many Millions. He laid a guilt trip on anybody and everybody who was dumb and gullible. Soros's puppet Greta is doing the same thing. Well, Gullible Warming is OVER! The currently fashionable scare is "Ice Age is coming, and it is YOUR fault!" Don't panic. In 30 years we will have another Gullible Warming. ____________________________________________________ Today, November 18 in 1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Dope(s) left a bag of 'goodies' near Family Dollar _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company. --- Gian Vincenzo Gravina (1664 - 1718) Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches per sec. --- J. Hart (1931 - ) _______________________________________________ After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I'm busy," he said. "I'll do the next one." The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled. "Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper," he said. "I meant the next baby!" ________________________________________________` Push! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dope(s) Citrus County Florida Dope(s) left a bag of 'goodies' near Family Dollar One Florida sheriff's office had some fun in a Facebook post after deputies had an interesting find in front of a Family Dollar store recently. We are currently in search for the owner of a bag that was left behind in front of the Family Dollar in Citrus Springs, the Citrus County Sheriff's Office wrote in the message posted Friday. This bag contained a lot goodies that we are sure our subject is missing dearly. And what ate the goodies the sheriff's office is referring to? Approximately 23 grams of meth, 5 grams of fentanyl, 15 grams of cocaine, and 3 grams of weed, according to the post, which had nearly 1,000 comments and 3,500 shares by Saturday. The bag also had the person's cellphone and over $700 in cash alongside some eggnog and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. The cell phone is not in the picture, because it is currently being audited. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Hank Re: Email Server Dear Webby, Thanks so much for your daily Humor Letter and you expert advice on PC problems. I had to get rid of Incredimail and Thunderbird as mail servers because of problems. What mail servers would you recommend? Thanks so much! hank Dear Hank Incredimail and Thunderbird are email programs, not servers. Your server is either at your ISP, or at gmail.com. Try Gmail for now. Make yourself a gmail address, and after that, tell your ISP to forward your mail to that new gmail address. Most ISPs know how to do that, if yours doesn't know, tell him or her to contact me. I can tell them in a minute. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. "How long will it take to pull my tooth?" The patient asked the dentist. "Only two seconds" "How much will it cost?" "Fifty dollars." "For only two seconds of work?" "Well," The dentist answered coolly, "I can pull it very, very slowly and make it last an hour if you prefer." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs right now. A woman will pay $3.99 for a $2 item that she doesn't want, but that is on sale. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Baby Wipes for Quick Bathroom Cleanup I keep a box of inexpensive baby wipes (odor free) in my bathroom. I not only use them for quick cleaning of my face or hands, but I use them often to quickly wipe up a dirty sink or bathtub, around my toilet, on the lid or toilet seat and even use them to wipe up chrome faucets. If I use one on the bathroom sink I use it on the chrome too and if it isn't 'used-up' yet I will keep it handy to use again for quick wipe-ups. I find they are good throughout the house to wipe around windows, use on window blinds, etc. The uses are endless. By Karen from Davis, CA Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml ____________________________________________________ | | A Fascinating Look at How Gold Leaves Are Made in 1959 - Funny. |
___________________________________________________ A woman marries a man expecting to change him. He doesn't change. A man marries a woman hoping that she won't change but she always does. ___________________________________________________ To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided to call on someone daily. One he selected was a young widow, her husband, according to the index card, had died two years ago. After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a baby in her arms. He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking for the widow Laffitte." "You've found her Father." smiled the lady. "Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over two years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms. "That's correct Father, he surely did... but I didn't." ___________________________________________________ Recently while we were eating lunch after church one Sunday, my youngest son asked me what the highest number I had ever counted up to was. I said I didn't know. Then I asked him how high he has counted. "5,372," came the prompt reply. "Oh," I said. "Why did you stop there?" "The sermon was over." __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, November 19 in 1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued. Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in Madison, NJ. 1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. Blaisdell. 1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority was needed for ratification. 1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their winter offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of the unpopular Edsel. 1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made man's second landing on the moon. 1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 1985 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev met for the first time as they began their summit in Geneva. 1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression. 1993 The U.S. Senate approved a sweeping $22.3 billion anti- crime measure. 1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey. It was only the second known case where all seven were born alive. 1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard" sold at auction for more than $71 million. 1999 In Istanbul, Turkey, the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) concluded a two-day summit after adopting a new arms accord. During the conference, Russia was criticized for its military campaign against Chechnya's separatist movement. 2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the most comprehensive air security bill in U.S. history. 2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed about 150 miles out to sea. 2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security at 424 airports nationwide. 2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released. 2019 Do smiled. |
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