Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, February 11 What is going on at Yahoo? The slaughter at Yahoo is continuing. Maybe they are just weeding out people, who have died in the last 10 years. ___________________________________________________ Today, February 11 in 1982 France nationalized five groups of major industries and 39 banks. ______________________________________________________ Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Louisiana teacher had sex with teen while own child was home __________________________________________ ======from J.B.Clark===== Good Morning Dear Webby. You not only have a much better selection of jokes than all the other joke lists, but often yours is the ONLY one that reliably makes it through every morning. These days when there is not much left that we can count on, that is worth a lot to me. =======J.B.Clark======== "You're in incredibly fine condition," the doctor concluded after finishing a thorough physical. "How old did you say you were, sir?" "Seventy-eight." "Seventy-eight! Why, you have the health of a sixty-year- old. What's your secret?" "I guess, Doc, it's due to a pact the wife and I made when we got married. She promised that if she was ever about to lose her temper, she'd stay in the kitchen 'till she cooled off. And I pledged that when I got angry I'd keep quiet, too, and go outside until I calmed down." "I don't understand," said the doctor, "How could that help you stay so fit?" "Well, the patient explained, "I guess you could say I've lived an outdoor life." __________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending me this picture: Bridge in China __________________________________________ The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. Each side would have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter to rebreed. After five years the biggest meanest dog the world that had ever been seen had been bread. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a 24 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of it's cage and slowly waddled over towards the Russian dog. The Russian dog snarled and leaped out of it's cage and charged the American dachshund. But, when it got close enough to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund opened it's mouth and consumed the Russian dog whole. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog. The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves." "That's nothing", one of the American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund." ___________________________________________________ Reported by Lee F An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ellarea Silva, 34, Zachary, Louisiana Louisiana teacher had sex with teen while own child was home A Louisiana middle school teacher is accused of having sex multiple times with a 15-year-old student at her home while her own child was also in the residence, authorities said. Ellarea Silva, a 34-year-old science teacher at Northwestern Middle School in Zachary, surrendered to cops Thursday after allegations surfaced that she had sex with the teen eight or nine times last summer at her home, where her child was also present during each encounter, according to an arrest report obtained by WAFB. Silva, who was placed on administrative leave on Jan. 24, initially sent the teen an email to his school account before the pair started communicating using their personal addresses so the school could not track their correspondence, a detective wrote. Silva then sent the teen nude photos and videos of herself, intentionally keeping her face out of the revealing snaps and footage, an arrest report states. The teacher later started picking up the teen at his home in Zachary and returning to her residence, where they had sex. Silva is also accused of giving the boy a pink e- cigarette vaping device that may have contained THC, authorities said. At one point, the teen told Silva he wanted to go public with their relationship, but the educator begged him to reconsider, WBRZ reports. [Silva] asked the victim not to disclose [the relationship] due to how his disclosure would affect her career and her family, an arrest report reads. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Janice Re: Best email provider Dear Webby I know things change and what once was the best email provider has gone out of business. Who is the best email provider RFN (Right Friendly Now) ? Janice Dear Janice The Best one, of course, is Webby. It is not free, though. The best of the free ones is Gmail. They are FREE, fast, and reliable. The only problem with them is that they are a bit too protective. When they think something might be spam or scam, they send it to your JUNK folder. You can, of course rescue it from there, and easily make filters to protect mail from that source. That is why I have always, since 1993, used "Humor: " as the start of the subject line, so that you can use that in filters. That was 20 years before Gmail, but Eudora and Pegasus had filters even in those days. With Gmail you don't just have an email program, but a provider. You can use it at home, at work, while traveling, anywhere. Gmail does not care whether you sign on with a PC or a Mac, or from which country. A hotel courtesy machine in the lobby of a hotel in Turkmenistan works as well as your home connection. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. >From Ellen, RN I was helping a patient into the bathroom when the patient exclaimed, "You're not coming in here with me. This is a one-seater!" | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Outside of a hotel in Manila, a Japanese tourist gets in a cab and tells the driver to drive him to the airport. On their way, a car zoomed by and the Japanese says "Aaah, Toyota, made in Japan.Very faaasst!". Another car zooms by and the Japanese exclaims "Aaah Nissan, made in Japan.Very faaasst!". And then, another car zooms by and the Japanese goes "Aaah Mitsubishi, made in Japan. Very faaasst!". By this time, the cabby is getting tired of his passenger's nationalistic bragging. Upon arriving at the airport, the cabby tells his passenger "400 pesos please..". The Japanese yells "400 pesos? Is not that far from the hotel!!!". The cabby's reply "Aaah, taxi meter, made in Japan. Very faaasst!!" _____________________________________________ >From Bobbie I'm a Technician at a Chevrolet dealer where, a number of years ago, a somewhat irate customer insisted we look at her car before the handful of people that were in line ahead of her. There was a hideous buzzing noise emanating from the dash - you guessed it! - her battery powered friend had turned itself on inside the glove box! As we removed it from the car to display the cause, she was instantly silenced while the surrounding customers could barely contain themselves. Needless to say, we never saw that customer afterwards ____________________________________________ Anita Roddick, who made a fortune selling beauty products under the Body Shop name, a company now worth about $330 million, says that moisturizers are the only cosmetics that do any good and that the rest of the range of beauty products that claim to stave off wrinkles is ''pap''. She advises that anyone ready to shell out $40 for a face cream buy a bottle of Pinot Noir instead. Her advice for women who want to maintain a youthful complexion is to stay out of the sun and avoid high heels. She went on to say that nothing will stop the aging process and that nothing works as well as rubbing sugar, salt and honey into the skin. So there you have it. We saved some of you a bunch of money. ____________________________________________ | No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today February 11 in 1752 The Pennsylvania Hospital opened as the very first hospital in America. 1808 Judge Jesse Fell experimented by burning anthracite coal to keep his house warm. He successfully showed how clean the coal burned and how cheaply it could be used as a heating fuel. 1812 The term "gerrymandering" had its beginning when the governor of Massachusetts, Elbridge Gerry, signed a redistricting law that favored his party. 1858 A French girl, Bernadette Soubirous, claimed to have seen a vision of the Virgin Mary near Lourdes. 1929 The Lateran Treaty was signed. Italy now recognized the independence and sovereignty of Vatican City. 1936 Pumping began the process to build San Francisco's Treasure Island. 1937 General Motors agreed to recognize the United Automobile Workers Union, which ended the current sit-down strike against them. 1943 General Dwight David Eisenhower was selected to command the allied armies in Europe. 1945 During World War II, the Yalta Agreement was signed by U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill and Soviet leader Josef Stalin. 1957 The NHL Players Association was formed in New York City. 1958 Ruth Carol Taylor was the first black woman to become a stewardess by making her initial flight. 1968 The new 20,000 seat Madison Square Garden officially opened in New York. This was the fourth Garden. 1979 Nine days after the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini returned to Iran (after 15 years in exile) power was seized by his followers. 1982 ABC-TVs presentation of "The Winds of War" concluded. The 18-hour miniseries cost $40 million to produce and was the most-watched television program in history at the time. 1982 France nationalized five groups of major industries and 39 banks. 1984 The tenth Space Shuttle mission returned to Earth safely. 1989 Rev. Barbara C. Harris became the first woman to be consecrated as a bishop in the Episcopal Church. 1990 Nelson Mandela was freed after 27 years in captivity. 1990 In Tokyo, Japan, James "Buster" Douglas knocked out Mike Tyson in the tenth round to win the heavyweight championship. 1993 Janet Reno was appointed to the position of attorney general by U.S. President Clinton. She was the first female to hold the position. 2000 The space shuttle Endeavor took off. The mission was to gather information for the most detailed map of the earth ever made. 2000 Great Britain suspended self-rule in Northern Ireland after the Irish Republican Army (IRA) failed to begin decommissioning (disarming) by a February deadline. 2002 The six stars on NBC's "Friends" signed a deal for $24 million each for the ninth and final season of the series. 2006 In Texas, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a quail hunt. 2016 It was reported that scientists had detected gravitational waves. The waves had been detected on September 14, 2015 by the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory (LIGO) detectors in Livingston, LA, and Hanford, WA. 2020 Do smiled. |
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