Good Morning, Do! Today is Monday, August 16 I used to like Snopes, and even had a link to Snopes in the side menu, until the Democrat primary, that elected Obama. That was when I announced that Snopes were a bunch of liars, and knocked off the link to them. Now, it seems, they upset the Democrat owned media and the media finally admitted, that I had been right all along. Use Truth or fiction ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Chandler mother arrested for child abuse after teenage son overdoses on fentanyl ___________________________________________________ Today, August 16 in 1923 Carnegie Steel Corporation put into place the eight-hour workday for its employees. ____________________________________________________ The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of. --- Randy K. Milholland ____________________________________________________ A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "Very little peer pressure." ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Bea for this one: For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I car pooled to get our children to soccer practice. I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn't be able to take my turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son, my husband showed up. Since it was too late for me to call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. I also explained to my son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts. Unfortunately, my husband forgot and was in front of our house chatting with a friend when my carpool partner arrived. When my son returned from practice, I asked him if she had noticed. "Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't know." ____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jamie Barrett, Chandler, Arizona, USA Chandler mother arrested for child abuse after teenage son overdoses on fentanyl A Chandler mother has been arrested in connection to the overdose death of her 15-year-old son after she reportedly asked him to buy fentanyl pills for her, police said on Aug. 13. Officers came to a home near 132nd Street and Chandler Boulevard on April 10 after the mother, Jamie Barrett, reported that her son was unresponsive and foaming from the mouth. He later died at the hospital. Barrett had told police at the time that she believed her son's marijuana vape pens had been laced with fentanyl. However, cell phone records showed that she had asked her son to buy the drug, also known as blues, for her. Barrett reportedly offered to give her son a pill in exchange for his help. Family members also overheard Barrett talking about how police "did not find her stash" when the search warrant was served at her home, officials said. The Maricopa County Medical Examiner confirmed on Aug. 10 that the teen had overdosed on fentanyl, and the mother was arrested the next day. "She denied trying to have her son purchase the pills and was just attempting to learn if her son's friend had them and might be supplying them to her son," a court document read. The mother later admitted that she did have a problem with abusing the drug, but denied any participation in her son's drug abuse. Barrett faces a child abuse charge and is being held in jail on a $25,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Lorne Re: Dye Printers Dear Webby, I heard that dye printers print better colors than inkjet. How much do those cost? Lorne Dear Lorne If you have to ask how much they cost, then a dye sublimation printer is not the printer for you. The individual dots produced are better, but the prints are fuzzy, compared to a laser printer. The prints look about the same as old style chemical process photos. Laser and even inkjet printers produce sharper images. Dye printers are usually just special purpose printers for ID badges, drivers licenses, textile, and so on. They are made to print specific media in a specific size, like drivers licenses. You can get them in sizes to print heat transfer pages for t-shirts or cups. Some even print directly onto plastic cups. The dye ribbons are very expensive compared to laser toner. Unless you have a very specific need like ID cards or T- shirts, you are better off getting a decent laser printer. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. Its too hot. Its too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, its being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We cant be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we cant kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, youll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose youve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, maam," the frustrated guide said, "but Ive sat on it." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bea for this one: For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I car pooled to get our children to soccer practice. I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn't be able to take my turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son, my husband showed up. Since it was too late for me to call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. I also explained to my son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts. Unfortunately, my husband forgot and was in front of our house chatting with a friend when my carpool partner arrived. When my son returned from practice, I asked him if she had noticed. "Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't know." ______________________________________________________ Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds! | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?" "I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?" "I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor today and he told me that I should drink 'Less'." ---------- hmmm Might be profitable to print some bottle or can labels for a beer called LESS and stick them onto the cheapest beer you can buy, and sell your LESS beer at a decent mark-up. A lot of people will buy it just as conversation pieces. ____________________________________________ A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind. The pastor shouted out "CROSS". Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS." The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound." The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD." The pastor said "SEX." The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from way in the back of the church, a little 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES." ____________________________________________ A mother and her daughter were shopping in a mall one day when the mother spied an expensive fur coat. She tried it on and stood in front of the mirror admiring the look and stroking the fur. "This year, I think I'll get myself a birthday present," she said. "But mom," her daughter protested, "some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this." "Don't worry, honey. Your father won't get the VISA bill for a couple of weeks." ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, August 16, in 1777 During the American Revolutionary War, the Battle of Bennington took place. New England's minutemen routed the British regulars. 1812 Detroit fell to Indian and British troops in the War of 1812. 1829 The "Siamese twins," Chang and Eng Bunker, arrived in Boston, MA. They had come to the Western world to be exhibited. They were 18 years old and joined at the waist. 1842 In New York City, the U.S. government took over operations of the City Despatch Post. This was the first congressionally authorized local postage delivery. 1858 A telegraphed message from Britain's Queen Victoria to U.S. President Buchanan was transmitted over the recently laid trans-Atlantic cable. 1861 U.S. President Lincoln prohibited the Union states from trading with the states of the Confederacy. 1923 Carnegie Steel Corporation put into place the eight-hour workday for its employees. 1930 The first British Empire Games were held at Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. The event is now called the British Commonwealth Games. 1937 Harvard University became the first school to have graduate courses in traffic engineering and administration. 1954 Sports Illustrated was published for the first time. It was claimed that 250,000 subscriptions had been sold before the first issue came off of the presses. 1960 Cyprus was granted independence by Britain. 1960 The free-fall world record was set by Joseph Kittinger. He fell more than 16 miles (about 84,000 feet) before opening his parachute over New Mexico. 1978 Xerox was fined for excluding Smith-Corona Mfg. from the copier market. The fine was $25.6 million. 1995 Voters in Bermuda rejected independence from Great Britain. 1999 In Russia, Vladimir V. Putin was confirmed as prime minister by the lower house of parliament. 2021 Do smiled. |
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