Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, August 28 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: 13-year-old driver caught with 25 pounds of meth after traffic stop on I-70 Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, Aug 28 in 1830 "The Tom Thumb" was demonstrated in Baltimore, MD. It was the first passenger-carrying train to be built in America. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ If time flies when you're having fun, it hits the afterburners when you don't think you're having enough. --- Jef Mallett There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the neighbors will say. --- Cyril Connolly ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me . . . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't remember your name. I've thought and thought, but I just can't recall. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just looked at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The coed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" she cried. "I did? What did I tell you?" asked the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the world," he said. "Surely there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds.'" "Oh, that's just YOUR funds!", he explained. "You can't write any more checks until you have a job and paid off the checks you have written so far. Oh, and your Debit card won't work either until then. Banks are very strict about that!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by driver, 13 German Michel-Arreola, 22 Irene Michel-Arreola, 19 Los Angeles, California 13-year-old driver caught with 25 pounds of meth after traffic stop on I-70 When investigators pulled over a car for a traffic stop on Interstate 70 on Tuesday morning, they found a 13-year-old boy behind the wheel and 25 pounds of methamphetamine inside, the Mesa County Sheriff's Office said. A deputy with the Western Colorado Drug Task Force stopped the Dodge Avenger at mile post 13 west of Fruita. There were three people in the car -- the 13-year-old driver, 22-year-old German Michel-Arreola and 19-year-old Irene Michel- Arreola. Investigators say they're all from Los Angeles. Investigators say the three consented to a search of the vehicle and that's when they found 23 packages containing a crystalline substance. All three suspects are facing felony drug charges, including manufacturing, possession and distribution of a Schedule I/II substance. The 13-year-old driver is facing additional charges for driving without a license and failing to drive in a designated lane. He is being held at the Grand Mesa Youth Services Center in Grand Junction. German Michel-Arreola and Irene Michel-Arreola are being held in the Mesa County Detention Facility. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cookie Re: Dumping blacklist Dear Webby, Thanks for the hint about not "blacklisting" spam mail in Mail Washer because of the disposable addresses. Once I got all of the blacklisted names deleted (several hundred and adding more daily) and just bounce & delete them now the processes goes much faster. As usual you are still the "Great Tech Guru!!" Cookie Dear Cookie Just set the keep time to 1 day and age off the blacklist automatically every midnight. For known pests like certain inlaws, it's much better to make a permanent filter. Have FUN! DearWebby Writing Tips: Don't abbrev. About sentence fragments. Don't not use no double negatives. Check to see if you any words out. Verbs has to agree with their subjects. Its important to use apostrophe's right. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary. A writer mustn't shift your point of view. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should begin with a capital and end with a period Avoid clichs like the plague. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Furniture If you are going to buy cheap furniture, why not buy it really cheap? Visit your local thrift stores and look for gently used furniture. Keep an open mind. A coat of paint can make many pieces of furniture look new. Even particle board furniture can be painted, just use fine sand paper to lightly scuff the surface first. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ The children begged for a hamster, and after the usual fervent vows that they alone would care for it, they got one. They named it Danny. Two months later, when Mom found her- self responsible for cleaning and feeding the creature, she located a prospective new home for it. The children took the news of Danny's imminent departure quite well, though one of them remarked, "He's been around here a long time--we'll miss him." "Yes," Mom replied, "But he's too much work for one person, and since I'm that one person, I say he goes." Another child offered, "Well, maybe if he wouldn't eat so much and wouldn't be so messy, we could keep him." But Mom was firm. "It's time to take Danny to his new home now," she insisted. "Go and get his cage." With one voice and in tearful outrage the children screamed, "Danny? We thought you said Daddy!" ___________________________________________________ | | Avocado pits carved into tiny forest spirits. 2017. |
___________________________________________________ Cassie walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register she saw a display of caps with WWJD printed on all of them. She she asked the clerk what the letters were supposed to mean, and the clerk replied that the letters stood for What Would Jesus Do, and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation. Cassie thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I don't think Jesus would pay $19.95 for one of these caps." | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, "Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce." "Because," the man says, "I live in a two-story house." The Judge replies, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is **I have a headache** and the other story is **It's that time of the month.** " "Granted. Next!" ____________________________________________________ | Today, August 28, in 1609 Delaware Bay was discovered by Henry Hudson. 1619 Ferdinand II was elected Holy Roman Emperor. His policy of "One church, one king" was his way of trying to outlaw Protestantism. 1830 "The Tom Thumb" was demonstrated in Baltimore, MD. It was the first passenger-carrying train to be built in America. 1833 Slavery was banned by the British Parliament throughout the British Empire. 1907 "American Messenger Company" was started by two teenagers, Jim Casey and Claude Ryan. The company's name was later changedto "United Parcel Service." 1916 Italy's declaration of war against Germany because Germany was losing against the Allies, took effect duringWorld War I. 1917 Ten suffragists were arrested as they picketed the White House. 1922 The first radio commercial aired on WEAF in New York City. The Queensboro Realty Company bought 10 minutes of time for$100. 1922 The Walker Cup was held for the first time at Southampton, NY. It is the oldest international team golf match in America. 1939 The first successful flight of a jet-propelled airplane took place. The plane was a German Heinkel He 178. 1963 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., gave his "I Have a Dream" speech at a civil rights rally in Washington, DC. More than 200,000 people attended. 1972 Mark Spitz captured the first of his seven gold medals at the Summer Olympics in Munich, Germany. He set a world record when he completed the 200-meter butterfly in 2 minutes and 7/10ths of a second. 1990 Iraq declared Kuwait to be its 19th province and renamed Kuwait City al-Kadhima. 1995 The biggest bank in the U.S. was created when Chase Manhattan and Chemical Bank announced their $10 billion deal. 1996 A divorce decree was issued for Britain's Charles and Princess Diana. This was the official end to their 15-year marriage. 1998 The Pakistani prime minister created new Islamic order and legal system based on the Koran. 2004 George Brunstad, at age 70, became the oldest person to swim the English Channel. The swim from Dover, England, to Sangatte, France, took 15 hours and 59 minutes. 2008 In China, the Shanghai World Financial Center officially opened. The observation decks opened on August 30. 2014 Google announced its Project Wing. The project was aimed at delivering products across a city using unmanned flying vehicles. 2017 Do smiled. |
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