Good Morning, Do! Today is Tuesday, October 16 home4christmas.com is for sale! Make an offer! $50 minimum. You can use it for anything you want. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award:  Arkansas man ate meth, pot during traffic stop and finked on himself  ______________________________________________________ Today, October 16 in 1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ 
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 Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution. --- Edward Teller (1908 - 2003) ______________________________________________________ Keli: Anni, what exactly is an "oxymoron"? Anni: It's a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like "deafening silence". Keli: Oh, I get it. Like "Mr. Perfect"! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," he reassured the man, "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." _____________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry I can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel." ______________________________________________________   The Stump, in the Tetons _____________________________________________________ 
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 ___________________________________________________  An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Brian Lee Chadwell, 38, Bella Vista, Arkansas  Arkansas Man Ate Meth, Pot During Traffic Stop and finked on himself  A Pea Ridge man accused of beating his step-daughter with a spatula was arrested Monday (Oct. 8) after reportedly eating marijuana and methamphetamine during a traffic stop. Brian Lee Chadwell, 38, faces felony charges of two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia and tampering with physical evidence. Bella Vista police stopped Chadwell about 9 p.m. near Tanyard Creek for a broken brake light, according to a probable cause affidavit. Chadwell asked the officers for legal advice regarding a no contact order he'd received for allegedly hitting the girl, then said he'd eaten a small bag of marijuana and meth in order to destroy it, according to the affidavit. Chadwell added that he eats meth to get high, but doesn't smoke or inject it. Chadwell asked officers to shoot him during processing, saying he was upset with himself. He said officers could say he tried to attack him, according to the affidavit. Chadwell was being held Thursday (Oct. 11) at the Benton County Jail on a $10,000 bond. He has a hearing set for Nov. 19 in Benton County Circuit Court. Chadwell is accused of beating his step-daughter with a spatula, a wooden spoon, and a stick covered in thorns, along with forcing her to sleep on the kitchen floor as punishment. He's due Nov. 13 in Pea Ridge District Court on a misdemeanor charge of third-degree domestic battery. The girl's mother, Jennifer Chadwell, was arrested in connection with permitting the abuse of a minor, a Class D felony. The report did not say what the teen required frequent punishment for, bhut she will be the responsibility of Child Services for the foreseeable future. 
 From: Barb Re: DSL speed dropping  Dear Webby At home my connection speed keeps dropping to the point where I actually lose the connection. We use the same DSL provider as I have at work, but there the connection never drops. At home, it's OK when I am browsing, but if I am answering mail, especially if I get interrupted, it falls off. Is there a setting I should check and change? Thanks Barb  Dear Barb Big Brother, the ISP, watches your activity, and if you are not really using your connection while you leisurely compose a lengthy email, they reduce your pipe and eventually cut it. They will gradually, and grudgingly, give it back to you when you are ready to send that email. You can use an FTP program that has a "Keep-Alive" feature to keep the connection open, and download three different pieces of music simultaneously when you need the connection again. You can watch how the 14 KB Keep-Alive speed cranks up to over 30 Mbps within a few seconds. You will then be able to use high speed until Big Brother detects that you have abandoned your computer and snuck off to the kitchen. Have FUN! DearWebby  
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 HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? Childrens' Views No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it always before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a dumpster. 
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 A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!" ___________________________________________________  Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Treat Credit Like Cash Make a commitment to pay as you go with credit cards this year. Don't wait until the last minute to buy gifts and plan your holiday budget carefully. You will feel much better during the holiday season if you aren't accumulating debt.  Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com  ____________________________________________________   
 
 
What an amazing artist to see the animal spirit in stone and bring it out for the public! 
 ___________________________________________________ I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Mom, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!" ___________________________________________________ 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff before."  
 Today October 16 in 1701 The Collegiate School was founded in Killingworth, CT. The school moved to New Haven in 1745 and changed its name to Yale College. 1793 During the French Revolution, Queen Marie Antoinette was beheaded after being convicted of treason. 1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. The Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day and included four meals. 1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA (now located in West Virginia). 1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install indoor plumbing. 1916 Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic in New York City, NY. 1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute the Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start of the Disney Company. 1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric light bulb. 1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 1942 The ballet "Rodeo" premiered in New York City. 1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened with a ribbon cutting ceremony. 1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers using the name Ann Landers. 1962 U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. 1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the world's fifth nuclear power. 1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels. 1970 Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed Gamal Abdel Nassar. 1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined the award. 1978 Poland's Karol Josef Wojtyla was elected Pope John Paul II. 1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a ballistic missile from a submarine. 1987 Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well that she had fallen into in Midland, TX. She was trapped for 58 hours. 1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed the Gramm-Rudman budget reduction law that ordered federal programs be cut by $16.1 billion. 1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S. warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure on the controlling military leaders. 1994 German Chancellor Helmut Kohl was re-elected to a fourth term. 1997 Charles M. Schulz and his wife Jeannie announced that they would give $1 million toward the construction of a D-Day memorial to be placed in Virginia. 2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying Texaco Inc. for $35 billion. The combined company was called Chevron Texaco Corp. and became the 4th largest oil company in the world. 2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that it had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of an 1994 agreement with the U.S. 2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal investigation of the energy company Enron. 2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television episodes sold. 2018 Do smiled. 
 

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