Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, February 27 ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Today, February 27, in 1922, The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the 19th Amendment that guaranteed women the right to vote. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Award Man arrested after Arizona police seize $330K worth of meth during traffic stop ___________________________________________________ Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. --- Jimmy Demaret ___________________________________________________ 'I'll have fish and chips twice,' said Murphy. 'Very well,' said the shopkeeper. 'The fish won't be long.' 'Then they'd better be fat,' said Murphy. ___________________________________________________ As the funeral procession went by, the American tourist inquired of Dublin policeman: 'Who's dead?' 'I'm not sure,' said the Bobby, 'but I think it's the feller in the front car.' ____________________________________________________ Laurie Baron Bald Eagle in flight in Brooks, AB 2022/02/25 ____________________________________________________ 'She's a horrible woman,' said Murphy about his mother-in-law. 'She makes her own yoghurt. She puts a pint of milk on the table and stares at it!' ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jose Eleno-Arellanes, Phoenix, Arizona, USA Man arrested after Arizona police seize $330K worth of meth during traffic stop A man was indicted after authorities seized over 200 pounds of methamphetamine during a traffic stop in Arizona. According to Arizona Attorney General Mark Brnovich's Office, Jose Eleno-Arellanes was transporting large quantities of meth as part of a drug trafficking operation. During a traffic stop on Feb. 6, police seized 222 pounds of methamphetamine that is estimated to be valued at $330,000. Eleno-Arellanes was indicted on one count of conspiracy, illegally conducting an enterprise and the sale or transportation for sale of a dangerous drug in connection. The investigation into the drug trafficking operation was conducted by the Phoenix Office of the Drug Enforcement Administration, Tempe and Goodyear Police, and the Arizona Attorney General's Office. ____________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ From: Dianne Re: Driver updates Dear Webby I keep getting these ads, reminding me to update drivers, often implying that I have a problem and need to buy a certain pogram. My machine runs OK. Are they phony? Dianne Dear Dianne Yes, they are phony. If a device, like a mouse or a printer, does indeed need a newer driver, it will call for it in the background, right from the manufacturer. It is quite safe to make a filter to trash those silly naggers. Have FUN! DearWebby The Maguire twins had never known the likes before. Only two hours fishing and already the boat was full to overflowing with mackerel. 'Begod, we've struck a rare spot here,' said Mick. 'We must try to remember this exact location for next time.' 'Why don't we put an 'x' on the back of the boat so we'll know it exactly?' ventured Pat. 'No good,' said his brother. 'We may not get the same boat next time!' | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ At Finnegan's wake, Katy Ryan remarked about the corpse: 'Doesn't he look happy?' 'Yes,' said the widow Finnegan. 'He died in his sleep and he doesn't know he's dead yet! In fact,' she went on, 'if he wakes up in the morning the shock will kill him!' ______________________________________________ The following ad appeared in the newspaper. Single Black Female Seeks Male companionship, ethnicity and religion unimportant. Good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods. Riding in your pickup truck.Hunting, Camping, Fishing trips. Cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy. (The phone number was the Dog Pound and Daisy is an eight week old Black Labrador Retriever.) ______________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A 16-year old comes home and says "Dad, I just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car." Father replies, "O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, keep the yard trimmed, and cut your hair. Come back when you've done all of that." Well, a month passes and the son approaches his dad, report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?" Father replies, "But, son, you didn't cut your hair." Son says, "But, Dad, Jesus had long hair." Father replies, "Yes, son, you're right. He never got to drive either." ___________________________________________________ | Today, February 27, in 1700, The Pacific Island of New Britain was discovered. 1801, The city of Washington, DC, was placed under congressional jurisdiction. 1827, New Orleans held its first European style Mardi Gras celebration. 1861, In Warsaw, Russian troops fired on a crowd protesting Russian rule over Poland. Five protesting marchers were killed in the incident. 1867, Dr. William G. Bonwill invented the dental mallet. 1883, Oscar Hammerstein patented the first cigar-rolling machine. 1896, The "Charlotte Observer" published a picture of an X- ray photograph made by Dr. H.L. Smith. The photograph showed a perfect picture of all the bones of a hand and a bullet that Smith had placed between the third and fourth fingers in the palm. 1900, In South Africa, the British received an unconditional surrender from Boer Gen. Piet Cronje at Paardeberg. 1922, The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the 19th Amendment that guaranteed women the right to vote. 1933, The Reichstag, Germany's parliament building in Berlin, was set afire. The Nazis accused Communists for the fire. 1939, The U.S. Supreme Court outlawed sit-down strikes. 1949, Chaim Weizmann became the first Israeli president. 1951, The 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified, limiting U.S. Presidents to two terms. 1972, The Shanghai Communique was issued by U.S. President Nixon and Chinese Premier Chou En-lai. 1973, The American Indian Movement occupied Wouned Knee in South Dakota. 1974, "People" magazine was first issued by Time-Life (later known as Time-Warner). 1981, Chrysler Corporation was granted an additional $400 million in federal loan guarantees. Chrysler had posted a loss of $1.7 billion in 1980. 1982, Wayne B. Williams was convicted of murdering two of the 28 black children and young adults whose bodies were found in Atlanta, GA, over a two-year period. 1986, The U.S. Senate approved the telecast of its debates on a trial basis. 1990, The Exxon Corporation and Exxon Shipping were indicted on five criminal counts in reference to the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill. 1991, U.S. President George H.W. Bush announced live on television that "Kuwait is liberated." 1997, In Ireland, divorce became legal. 1998, Britain's House of Lords agreed to give a monarch's first-born daughter the same claim to the throne as any first-born son. This was the end to 1,000 years of male preference. 1999, Colin Prescot and Andy Elson set a new hot air balloon endurance record when they had been aloft for 233 hours and 55 minutes. The two were in the process of trying to circumnavigate the Earth. 1999, Nigeria returned to civilian rule when Gen. Olusegun Obasanjo became the country's first elected president since August of 1983. 2002, In Boston, twenty people working at Logan International Airport were charged with lying to get their jobs or security badges. 2022 Do smiled. |
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