Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, July 30 ____________________________________________________ History: today, July 30 in 1945, The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine. The ship had just delivered key components of the Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian. Only 316 out of 1,196 men aboard survived the attack. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead Woman arrested for Glendale murder of motorcyclist ___________________________________________________ Q Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. --- Joey Bishop (1918 - The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) _________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Six-year-old Angie and her 4-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud.Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two big guys in gangster suits standing by the door? They're hushers." ___________________________________________________ Three churches - Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian - worked together to sponsor a community-wide revival. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families." The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!" ___________________________________________________ The good bishop knew very well that not only did everyone in his small town look to him for an example, but that all too often, all eyes were on him as potential fodder for the local gossip mill, as well. This could be wearing; but usually, he was able to provide the good example and escape the tattlers. One night, however, after a long, hard day, a social obligation beckoned on top of his church responsibilities, and he came to a sudden stopping place. His hostess, noting that he looked tired, asked with concern, "A spot of tea, Bishop?" "No, thank you," he managed. "No tea." "Ah," she said. "Coffee, then?" "No coffee either, thank you." In the spirit of triage, she leaned closer and murmured, "I could bring you a scotch and soda in a dark mug?" "My dear, this is my last word: NO soda." ___________________________________________________ Rhodochrosite ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ At a Milwaukee post office, a woman complained to the clerk that a Pony Express rider could get a letter from Milwaukee to St. Louis in two days, and now it takes three. "I'd like to know why," she scoffed. The clerk thought about it for a moment, then his face brightened and he replied, "The horses are a lot older now?" ____________________________________________________ While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She also had her seven-year- old son with her. Everyone gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?" "What do you say?" she asked. Respectfully, the boy replied, "You're thin and beautiful." The woman reached in her purse and gave her son the money. ____________________________________________________ Rick Clewett ___________________________________________________ As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block. All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust. Suddenly, we realized that we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them.... __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Freda RE: Driver updates Dear Webby What's all this crap about driver updates? Now even CrapCleaner acts as if that was something necessary. I KNOW you told us not to worry about driver updates. What's the story now? Freda Dear Freda You are absolutely right. IF and when you add a new device, like for example a mouse, it will either have a CD with it, or a URL for downloading the newest driver, or more likely, call the manufacturer (if you are online) and help you to download the newest driver. There is absolutely no need for getting some phony driver update service. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, its my face they would recognize." ____________________________________________ The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only... Smith, Jones, Baker... that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling." ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Navaeh Jai Worsley, 21, Glendale, Arizona, USA Woman arrested for Glendale murder of motorcyclist Officials with the Glendale Police Department say they have made an arrest in connection with a deadly shooting in the West Valley city. According to court documents, Navaeh Jai Worsley was arrested in the area of 83rd Avenue and Indian School Road during the overnight hours of July 28. In a statement released by Glendale Police officials, Worsley is described as a 21-year- old woman. The deadly shooting happened during the afternoon hours of July 27. According to a spokesperson with Glendale Police, officers responded at around 4:15 p.m. to the area of 67th Avenue and Gelding, which is located north of the intersection of 67th Avenue and Thunderbird Road, for a welfare check. "Other drivers within the area contacted law enforcement for a welfare check on the motorcyclist because he was walking his motorcycle down the street, and then toppled over," said a police spokesperson, during a news conference that was held near where the incident happened. "Upon arrival, officers located a 23-year-old male motorcycle with an apparent gunshot wound." The victim, according to police, was taken to the hospital, where he later died as a result of his injuries. Glendale Police officials also provided court documents related to the shooting. In the documents, investigators state that a witness saw an incident between the suspect and the victim in the area of 67th Avenue and Greenway. The witness was not identified in the court documents. The witness, according to investigators, saw people inside a silver sedan appearing to be in an argument with the victim. "[The witness] said the front passenger of the silver sedan exited the vehicle and stood at the side of the vehicle, while holding what [the witness] believed to be a black handgun at their side," read a portion of the court documents. "[The witness] stated this passenger re-entered the silver sedan, at which time [the victim] began driving away, making a southbound turn into 67th Avenue. Both the motorcycle and the sedan sped up significant, to the point that [the witness] could no longer clearly see them." The witness, according to investigators, later came upon the victim, who was lying in the roadway near the motorcycle. Investigators later tied Worsley to the shooting, and during a search of the silver sedan, officers found a handgun in the center console. Subsequent tests showed the handgun was used in the shooting. The suspect, according to court documents, invoked her right to remain silent, and did not provide a statement. According to court document, the shooting also struck the residence of an uninvolved party, and there was an active warrant for failure to appear that was issued against Worsley. Worsley, according to court documents, is charged with second degree murder. ___________________________________________________ The rules at a particular university were such that if the professor was not present in the classroom by 15 minutes past the hour, the class was considered a "walk" and the students were free to leave -- with no penalties for missing a class. The rooms were equipped with the type of wall clocks which "jumped" ahead each minute, in a very noticeable fashion. As it were, these clocks were not of the most sophisticated construction. Some enterprising student discovered that if one were to hit the clock with chalkboard erasers, it would cause the clock to "jump" ahead 1 minute. So, it became almost daily practice for these students to take target practice at the clock (this particular professor was not the most punctual, and the students considered him severely "absent-minded"). A few well- aimed erasers, and lo, 15 minutes were passed, and class dismissed itself. Well, when the day for the next exam rolled around, the professor strolled into the room, passed out the exams, and told the class, "You have one hour to complete the examination". The professor then proceeded to collect the erasers from around the room, gleefully took aim at the clock. When he had successfully "jumped" the clock forward one hour, he ended the class and collected the exam papers. ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where lives. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. out and finding the politicians, buries them. The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight. They had only been aloft a few minutes when the elderly lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping. The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort. When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess. "The chewing gum worked fine," she said, "but tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?" ___________________________________________________ ====From Diana==== Dear Webby I really like it when you add personal bits to the jokes, not just pasting a few dumb jokes and a lot of commercials like the other lists do. My husband had told me about those long distance races, so I read today's Humor letter to him. He got all sentimental and dug out the old photo albums with the pictures of those Pick-Ups with the rock chips all over the windows, and the step-box with the gas drums, and all of them with a 2 by 4 sticking up in the left back corner. When I asked him about that, he just laughed and laughed and pointed at your humor letter. Eventually he told me that it was for holding on to, if one had to stand by the tailgate to empty the used coffee while the truck was flying down the gravel highway at 70 miles an hour. You guys are NUTS! Diana __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today July 30, in 1502, Christopher Columbus landed at Guanaja in the Bay Islands off the coast of Honduras during his fourth voyage. 1619, The first representative assembly in America convened in Jamestown, VA. (House of Burgesses) 1729, The city of Baltimore was founded in Maryland. 1898, "Scientific America" carried the first magazine automobile ad. The ad was for the Winton Motor Car Company of Cleveland, OH. 1932, Walt Disney's "Flowers and Trees" premiered. It was the first Academy Award winning cartoon and first cartoon short to use Technicolor. 1937, The American Federation of Radio Artists (AFRA) was organized as a part of the American Federation of Labor. 1942, The WAVES were created by legislation signed by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The members of the Women's Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service were a part of the U.S. Navy. 1945, The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine. The ship had just delivered key components of the Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian. Only 316 out of 1,196 men aboard survived the attack. 1956, The phrase "In God We Trust" was adopted as the U.S. national motto. 1965, U.S. President Johnson signed into law Social Security Act that established Medicare and Medicaid. It went into effect the following year. 1974, The U.S. House of Representatives Judiciary Committee voted to impeach President Nixon for blocking the Watergate investigation and for abuse of power. 1987, Indian troops arrived in Jaffna, Sri Lanka, to disarm the Tamil Tigers and enforce a peace pact. 1990, In Spring Hill, TN, the first Saturn automobile rolled off the assembly line. 1991, In China, construction began on the Oriental Pearl Radio & TV Tower. 1998, A group of Ohio machine-shop workers (who call themselves the Lucky 13) won the $295.7 million Powerball jackpot. It was the largest-ever American lottery. 2000, Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt were married. 2001, Lance Armstrong became the first American to win three consecutive Tours de France. 2003, In Mexico, the last 'old style' Volkswagen Beetle rolled off an assembly line. 2023, Do smiled.
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to [email protected]
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
[email protected]
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |
