Good Morning, Do! Today is Sunday, August 20, 2023 Len, a friend since the 70s and subscriber since the early 90s, who has spent the last 20 years in Yellowknife driving big 150 ton trucks for the diamindmine, until he got fired a year ago for being over 72 years old, was forced to evacuate from Yellowknife. He drove 1000 KM (600 miles) to Edmonton and arrived safely. About 20,000 peopple were ordered to flee, so as not to impede the fire fighters and force them back into the fire to rescue refutniks. So far, everybody arrived safely in Edmonton or Calgary. Calary is another 3 - 4 hours, but has a lot more facilities for evacuees. There were no accidents or blockages and everybody arrived safely. Imagine a convoy of 20,000 people racing through the heavy smoke on a simple one lane for each direction highwqy. There were tankers and tow trucks every 50 miles or so, and very much appreciated, especially when tires exploded on the hot roads.. According to unconfirmed rumors, one little girl was born during the race to Edmonton. So fa, this season an area roughly the size of the US state of Alabama, or the total area of Greece have burned. That does not include the fires in British Columbia. That area is just as bad. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead award Woman arrested for poisoning man's drink with RAID roach killer ___________________________________________________ Q The secret of eternal youth is arrested development. --- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884 - 1980) ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ History: 1967, The New York Times reported about a noise reduction system for album and tape recording developed by technicians R. and D.W. Dolby. Elektra Record's subsidiary, Checkmate Records became the first label to use the new Dolby process in its recordings. ___________________________________________________ For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being...a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows..." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes as she nodded in agreement. She replied,"Yes, I agree, I think it would be a great idea, and I'll gladly help you find a nice puppydog for a pet." __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Two gentlemen were discussing the prospects of "looming" retirement. While one guy had lots of hobbies, the other fellow had no hobbies, and was rather concerned about being set loose with nothing to do. The first guy suggested his friend go visit his kids. The man said, "Well, I only have two kids, but I could buy a motor home and go visit my brothers and sisters, that would take about a year." The first guy looked a bit puzzled, so his friend said, "I'm one of eighteen kids in my family." The first fellow's eyes got rather large, contemplating eighteen children, so the man volunteered to explain. "You see, my mother was hard of hearing. My Mom & Dad would go to bed at night, and my Dad would ask, 'Do you want to go to sleep, or what?' and my Mom would say, "What?" ______________________________________________ An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. At noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. "What are those drums?" asked the anthropologist, knowing he was in cannibal country. The guide turned to him and said "No worry. Drums OK, but very bad when they stop." They both went ghostly pale when the drums suddenly stopped. The guide crouched in the belly of the canoe and covered his ears. "Do as I do! Very important!" hissed the guide with great urgency. "Why? What does this mean?" asked the panicked anthropologist. In a terrified whisper the native replied: "Drums stop! Next come violin solo!" ____________________________________________________ In Denmark, a law obliges owners of large agricultural lands to cultivate 5% of their land in flower to protect bees. It is not a hard law, but a requirement in order to get an agricultural grant. ___________________________________________________ The old perfesser was shopping the other day and wound up face to face with this drop dead gorgeous young lady. Talk about *built*. He couldn't help but just stare at her, so much so that his mouth dropped open and he was almost drooling. The lady caught him staring and suspected he wasn't just admiring her shopping bag. "So, old man," she said, "are you often troubled by indecent thoughts?" The old perfesser smiled and replied, "No, ma'am. Actually, to be honest, I rather enjoy them." ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ One day our German class was unusually talkative despite repeated warnings, and our teacher was becoming rather exasperated. After what must have been the sixth or eighth warning, he raised his voice to declare, "All right! The next person who talks is going to be severely castigated." The class was then very quiet for a few seconds, at least until a girl in the front row asked the teacher, "Mr. T--, how are you going to do that to a girl?" ____________________________________________________ Here is an oldie I print most years at the begin of the hot weather: A couple drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car there in the lot. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand up his shorts and tucked everything back into place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband, who was standing idly by. The helpful mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head. ____________________________________________________ Ray and Randy were riding the New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Randy adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Ray, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a five, and gladly hands it to the beggar with a smile. The beggar thanks him profusely and continues on to the other passengers. Randy is outraged by his friend's act of generosity. "What on EARTH did you do that for???" shouts Randy. "You know he's only going to use it on booze!!!" Ray replies, "And we weren't?" __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Malcolm Re: Does Mailwasher harvest your traffic? Dear Webby I have to be careful about who harvests my traffic. Does your mailwasher harvest and track your adresses? Malcolm Dear Malcolm It tracks spams and puts them into it's database. It totally ignores legitimate mails. In time, it getsmore and more precise in recognizing your typical spam and scam. If you make filters to catch spammers or scammers, it tracks how often they grab and fry something, and show you nice and colorful pie charts about which ones were most effective. However, it does not tell anybody about who has spammed you or who has mailed you. The data would be totally overwhelming. Don't worry about it. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ During his first three-month evaluation, a rookie cop mentioned to the chief of police that the stress of the job was really starting to wear him down. The chief told the young policeman that when he was a young cop, whenever he was feeling too tense, he'd go home and make love like crazy with his wife for about an hour, which always made him feel better and enabled him to return to work with a much better outlook. The rookie considered this piece of wisdom and said it sounded like good advice; he'd give it a try and see if it helped. The next week the chief called the kid in and asked how things were going. The new cop replied that, in fact, just that morning had experienced extreme stress and had followed his boss's suggestion, with great success. He felt great. After being dismissed by his pleased superior, the rookie abruptly halted at the door and said, "Oh, Chief, I almost forgot. Your wife asked me to tell you to pick up some lamb chops for dinner." ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Veronica Cline, 29, DELEON SPRINGS, Florida, USA Woman arrested for poisoning man's drink with RAID roach killer A Florida woman was arrested this week after allegedly spiking a man's drink with cockroach spray, according to the Volusia Sheriff's Office. Veronica Cline was arrested and charged with poisoning food or drink early Friday morning. The 29-year-old woman met the man at a bar and asked him to continue drinking with her at home, the man told deputies. After two drinks, he said he felt sick. Cline allegedly told him she added Raid spray into his last two drinks, deputies said. He threw up for about half an hour before he was able to call for help. Deputies responded to the house on Wheeler Street in DeLeon Springs around 4:30 a.m. Friday and met with the man, who became sick again while providing his statement. He was taken to a hospital for treatment. __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today August 20, in 1741, Danish navigator Vitus Jonas Bering discovered Alaska. 1862, Horace Greeley's "The Prayer of Twenty Millions" was published. 1866, The National Labor Union in the U.S. advocated an eight-hour workday. 1866, It was formally declared by U.S. President Andrew Johnson that the American Civil War was over. The fighting had stopped months earlier. 1882, Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" debuted in Moscow. 1885, "The Mikado", by Gilbert and Sullivan, opened at the Fifth Avenue Theatre in New York City. 1914, German forces occupied Brussels, Belgium, during World War I. 1918, The British opened its Western Front offensive during World War I. 1923, The first American dirigible, the "Shenandoah," was launched in Lakehurst, NJ. The ship began its maiden voyage from the same location on September 4. 1939, The National Bowling Association was founded in Detroit, MI. It was the first bowling association in the U.S. for African-Americans. 1940, France fell to the Germans during World War II. 1953, It was announced by the Soviet Union that they had detonated a hydrogen bomb. 1955, In Morocco and Algeria hundreds of people were killed in anti-French rioting. 1955, Colonel Horace A. Hanes, a U.S. Air Force pilot, flew to an altitude of 40,000 feet. Hanes reached a speed of 822.135 miles per hour in a Super Sabrejet. 1964, A $1 billion anti-poverty measure was signed by U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson. 1967, The New York Times reported about a noise reduction system for album and tape recording developed by technicians R. and D.W. Dolby. Elektra Record's subsidiary, Checkmate Records became the first label to use the new Dolby process in its recordings. 1968, The Soviet Union and other Warsaw Pact nations began invading Czechoslovakia to crush the "Prague Spring" liberalization. 1977, Voyager 2 was launched by the United States. The spacecraft was carrying a 12 inch copper phonograph record containing greetings in dozens of languages, samples of music and sounds of nature. 1985, The original Xerox 914 copier was presented to the Smithsonian Institute's Museum of American History. Chester Carlson was the man who invented the machine. 1991, A rally of more than 100,000 people occurred outside the Russian parliament building to protest the coup that removed Gorbachev from power. 1997, NATO troops seized six police stations in Banja Luka that had been held by troops controlled by former Bosnian Serb President Radovan Karadzic. 1997, Britain began voluntary evacuation of its Caribbean island of Montserrat due to the volcanic activity of the Soufriere Hills. 1998, Canada's Supreme Court announced that Quebec could not secede without the federal government's consent. 1998, U.S. military forces attacked a terrorist camp in Afghanistan and a chemical plant in Sudan. Both targets were chosen for cruise missile strikes due to their connection with Osama bin Laden. 1998, The U.N. Security Council extended trade sanctions against Iraq for blocking arms inspections. 2010, The last American combat brigade exited Iraq after more than seven years after the U.S.-led invasion began. 2023, Do smiled.
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Go to TOP
Well, Do , that's all for today.
Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter
If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name,
or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me.
I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly
from then on.
If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't
have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me.
I will gladly enter them for you and send them a confirmation request.
To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY or write to [email protected]
If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time,
then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription.
If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/sub.html
You can also UNsubscribe there.
If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed to the Regular HTML version with this address:
[email protected]
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular HTMLversion Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter | . |
