Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, October 5 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! home4christmas.com is for sale! Make an offer! $50 minimum. You can use it for anything you want. Have FUN! Dearwebby Today's Bonehead Award: Florida Woman Ends Up Behind Bars After Robbery 911 "Prank" ______________________________________________________ Today, October 4 in 1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing company. More of today in history at HIstory ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right. --- Laurens Van der Post As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do. --- Andrew Carnegie The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of stupidity. --- Liz Taylor ______________________________________________________ Wilbur got a job on the railways as a steward. For the first day he accompanied another steward to learn the ropes. "It's very simple," said his tutor, "Just use diplomacy." "What's diplomacy?" asked Wilbur. "Watch me I'll show you". Off they went down the train corridor, rattling compartment doors, opening them with special keys and offering tea or coffee. When the tutor steward flung open one door he was confronted with a buck naked woman. Without batting an eyelid he asked "Tea or coffee, sir?" The surprised woman took the cup of tea and he shut the door. "Wow, did you see that cutie!" Wilbur said excitedly. "She had no clothes on. But hey, why did you call her sir?" "That's diplomacy! I did not want to embarrass her". Wilbur was most impressed with his teacher. The next day, on his own now, he flung open a door to a compartment and found a couple making love on the bed. "Tea or coffee, sir?" "Tea" the man replied. "And for your brother?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for ths story: The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their appetites. Most agreed that teenagers would eat anything, anywhere and at any time. Some were concerned that such appetites always made it hard to judge when you should feed them because they were always grazing. A veteran parent of six children told us of his method for judging the true hunger of teenagers. "I would hold up a piece of cold, cooked broccoli, and if they were jumping and snapping at it, I figured they were hungry enough to be fed." _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two boys were arguing when the preacher entered the room. The preacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the preacher, "When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the preacher. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Pedgie Georges, 22, Fort Pierce, Florida Florida Woman Ends Up Behind Bars After Robbery "Prank" While dining Saturday at a Florida caf, Pedgie Georges thought it would be funny to send her boyfriend a text falsely claiming that people were robbing the restaurant. But what Georges, 22, did not anticipate when planning her prank was that her beau would call 911 to report that an armed robbery was in progress at Alabon Bakery, a Fort Pierce eatery specializing in Haitian cooking. After receiving the 911 call, cops raced to the restaurant, running red lights with their sirens blaring. With their weapons drawn, officers subsequently entered the business and discovered no crime in progress. But they did find Georges, who explained that she texted her boyfriend as a prank that people were robbing the restaurant, according to an arrest affidavit. Since she had created a dangerous environment that could have resulted in harm to police or members of the public, Georges was arrested for misuse of the 911 system, a misdemeanor. From Frances Re: Search Engines Dear Webby, Does it make any dfference to the search engines where my site is hosted ? Frances Dear Frances Yes, it seems to make a huge difference. Spammers or similarly objectionable people prefer to use bargain web hosts, because they do get kicked out fairly soon anyway, and because bargain hosts are usually not as swift in detecting spammers or in kicking out a paying client. The big networks blacklist and block the IP numbers used by the spammers. Bargain web hosts put hundreds of sites onto the same IP number. All those sites are affected by blocks, blacklists and reputation. When a robot from a search engine comes by and your site is not available, it's just like a census taker coming by when you are not home. You don't count if you are not counted, and those, who ARE counted, bypass you in the ranking. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. Thanks to Dora for this Classic: During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
A couple have been married forty years and are revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. As they are driving through the secluded countryside, they pass a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman says, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here forty years ago!" The guy stops the car. His wife backs against the fence, and they make love like never before. Back in the car, the guys says, "Darlin', you sure never moved like that forty year ago -- or any time since that I can remember." The woman says, "Forty years ago that damn fence wasn't electrified!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Costume: A Pirate! Wear an old pair of jeans and roll them up to your knees. Add knee high socks, tights or a pair of long johns under the pants. Find a shirt that is a few sizes too big and then wear a belt or sash over the shirt so that is nice and baggy. Add an old pair of boots, an earring and an eye patch! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ | | Let's travel to Bhutan, known for its vast expanses of untouched wilderness, deeply embedded Buddhist culture, and history steeped in tradition and legend. |
___________________________________________________ Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move when he's not on it." ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
| Today October 5 in 1813 Chief Tecumseh of the Shawnee Indians was killed at the Battle of Thames when American forces defeated the British and the allied Indian warriors. 1877 Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Indians surrendered to the U.S. Army after a 1,000-mile retreat towards the Canadian border. 1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing company. 1930 Laura Ingalls became the first woman to make a transcontinental airplane flight. 1931 Clyde Pangborn and Hugh Herndon landed in Washington after flying non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The flight originated in Japan and took about 41 hours. 1937 U.S. President Roosevelt called for a "quarantine" of aggressor nations. 1947 U.S. President Harry S Truman held the first televised presidential address from the White House. The subject was the current international food crisis. 1969 A Cuban defector landed a Soviet-made MiG-17 at Homestead Air Force Base in Florida. The plane entered U.S. air space and landed without being detected. 1969 "Monty Python's Flying Circus" debuted on BBC television. 1970 Anwar Sadat took office as President of Egypt replacing Gamal Abdel Nassar. Sadat was assassinated in 1981. 1974 American David Kunst completed the first journey around the world on foot. It took four years and 21 pairs of shoes. He crossed four continents and walked 14,450 miles. 1985 An Egyptian policeman went on a shooting rampage at a Sinai beach. Seven Israeli tourists were killed. The policeman died in prison the following January of an apparent suicide. 1986 Sandinista soldiers captured American Eugene Hasenfus after shooting him down over southern Nicaragua. 1988 In a debate between candidates for vice president of the U.S., Democratic Lloyd Bentsen told Republican Dan Quayle, "You're no Jack Kennedy." 1989 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) was named the winner of the Nobel Peace Prize for his nonviolent campaign to end the Chinese domination of Tibet. Gyatso was the 15th Dalai Lama. 1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced that his country would cut its nuclear arsenal in response to the arms reduction that was initiated by U.S. President George Bush. 1993 China set off an underground nuclear explosion. 1995 A 60-day cease-fire was agreed upon by Bonsian combatants. The civil war had lasted 3 1/2 years. 1997 In London, the Express Newspapers printed an article claiming that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were homosexual and that their marriage was a sham to cover the truth. The paper paid damages in a settlement on October 29, 1998. 1998 The U.S. paid $60 million for Russia's research time on the international space station to keep the cash-strapped Russian space agency afloat. 1999 MCI Worldcom Inc. and Sprint Corp. announced plans to merge. 2006 Walmart rolled out its $4 generic drug program to the entire state of Florida after a successful test in the Tampa area. 2018 Do smiled. |
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