Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, August 11 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! Thank You, Donnie !! PAYPAL Frm Donnie to Dear There is no PayPay link showing in my Humor Letter. The last time I tried to donate, it aborted. Hi Donnie Yes, looks like PayPal has a problem with the PayPal buttons again. Just log into http://PayPal.com, with your PayPal user name, select SEND MONEY for the destination use [email protected] enter an amount, for the source select your PayPal balance or a credit card, and hit Enter. Everything is pretty well the same as it used to be with the PayPal button. Thank you very much! DearWebby ____________________________________________________ History: today, August 11 in 1998, British Petroleum became No. 3 among oil companies with the $49 billion purchase of Amoco. It was the largest foreign takeover of a U.S. company. ___________________________________________________ Bonehead award Brutal killer of 25-year-old Ramane Wiggan jailed for 34 years ___________________________________________________ Q I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. --- Mae West (1892 - 1980) Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating."Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having any of that queer shit in OUR garden!" she said. ___________________________________________________ Three geezers are sitting on a porch in Miami Beach. Suddenly the first sighs and says, "Gentlemen, isn't life horrible. Here I am at an age that I can afford the best steaks and what? Bad teeth and gums. I have to eat ground or soft foods." The second answers, "Yeah, life is a real bummer. Why here I am at an age where I can buy the finest wines, champagne but what? Ulcers, I have to drink milk." The third sighs loudly and adds, "Gentlemen, I know exactly what you mean. Last night at 2 am I nudged my wife and asked her if she's interested. She screams at me, "What is wrong with you Sam? We just got finished doing it for the second time tonight!" After a long pause the first man says, "So what is your problem?" The third one grunts and says, "Can't you see? My memory is going." ___________________________________________________ Near Banf, Alberta __________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ They're not really fixing the streets. They're just moving the holes so that motorists can't memorize them. ____________________________________________________ A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ____________________________________________________ A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating."Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked. "They're mating," her father replied. "What do you call the spider on top?" she asked. "That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered. "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked. As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs." The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat. "Well, we're not having any of that queer shit in OUR garden!" she said. ______________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ Three geezers are sitting on a porch in Miami Beach. Suddenly the first sighs and says, "Gentlemen, isn't life horrible. Here I am at an age that I can afford the best steaks and what? Bad teeth and gums. I have to eat ground or soft foods." The second answers, "Yeah, life is a real bummer. Why here I am at an age where I can buy the finest wines, champagne but what? Ulcers, I have to drink milk." The third sighs loudly and adds, "Gentlemen, I know exactly what you mean. Last night at 2 am I nudged my wife and asked her if she's interested. She screams at me, "What is wrong with you Sam? We just got finished doing it for the second time tonight!" After a long pause the first man says, "So what is your problem?" The third one grunts and says, "Can't you see? My memory is going." ____________________________________________ June, Georgia: An EMT in southern Georgia was part of the unit that responded to a call from Coffee County late one night. They arrived on the scene and found a severely injured man lying at the edge of a field. His stomach had been completely torn open, and he was covered with lacerations and bruises. He also had a prominent tire tread across his chest. The injured man's companion showed up in a racing model ATV vehicle, clearly intoxicated, and gave the following account. Imagine this tale being recited in a deep Georgian accent. He and his injured friend had been drinkin' and ridin' around the field on the three-wheeled ATV, when they sighted a stand of deer in their headlights. The friend, riding the back as a passenger, was struck with a great idea. "Hey man," he said, "If you quarter off one a those deer, betcha I can bulldog 'im." The driver thought this was an entertaining idea, so he proceeded to isolate a buck and race him down. His intoxicated passenger proceeded to leap from the ATV, grab the buck by the antlers, and perform an excellent example of this rodeo sport. He pinned the animal's head to the ground, but that's when things went wrong. The buck, less docile than a steer, simply got up, threw his head back, and tore his assailant's belly open. The deer then proceeded to stomp, kick, and butt him for good measure. The EMTs noticed that this information accounted all of the injuries except one. When they asked the driver about the tire track across his injured friend's chest, he responded: "Well how else was I s'posed to git the deer off 'im?" ____________________________________________________ They're not really fixing the streets. They're just moving the holes so that motorists can't memorize them. ____________________________________________________ Val Di Funes, Italy ___________________________________________________ Two senior citizens were bragging about their sex lives in the elderly homes, "Can you still do it? I have sex with my wife twice a week. How many can you do?" "Oh, I do it almost every night of the week!" "Almost every night!!?????" "Yup! Monday, almost. Tuesday, almost. Wednesday,........" __________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits from: Henry re: Are those "fact checkers" ALWAYS lying? Dear Webby I have NEVER seen one of those phony "fact checkers", that was not a total lie. Are they always lying on purpose? Hemry Dear Henry Yes, they are lying on purpose. I have never seen one that was true. Have FUN! DearWebby ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay online! _____________________________________________ A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple had finished, the doctor said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse", and he charged them $32.00. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The man said, "We're not trying to find out anything. She has a gossipy sister on an extended visit in her apartment, so we can't go to there. I have too many noisy grandkids running around my place and so we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $160.00. The Hilton charges $178.00. We do it here for $32.00 and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor's office." ________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Kaine Gilead London England Brutal killer of 25-year-old Ramane Wiggan jailed for 34 years Kaine Gilead shot dead Ramane Wiggan on the balcony of a flat before fleeing on a scooter A brutal and callous killer who shot a man at point-blank range has been jailed for 34 years, police said. Kaine Gilead shot Ramane Wiggan, 25, from behind with a Glock pistol after luring him to a balcony at a block of flats in West Norwood, south London, in March 2019. Mr Wiggan, who had travelled there to collect a drugs debt of 10,000, was later declared dead at the scene by paramedics. Gilead, now 26, of Grove Road, Surbiton, south London, was found guilty of his murder following a fourth trial in the case at the Old Bailey last month. Mr Wiggans mother gasped in court as the jury delivered its verdict, and told her sons killer: You are a murderer and finally I have justice. ___________________________________________________ The optimist owned a hunting dog that could walk on water. His plan? Take the pessimist and the dog out duck hunting in a boat. They got out into the middle of the lake, and the optimist brought down a duck. The dog immediately walked out across the water, retrieved the duck, and walked back to the boat. The optimist looked at his pessimistic friend and said, "What do you think about that?" The pessimist replied, "That dog can't swim, can he?" Luckily the pessimist was wearing a life jacket when he got tossed into the water. He had to swim back to shore. __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work, please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today August 11, in 1860, The first successful silver mill in America began operations. The mill was in Virginia City, NV. 1874, A patent for the sprinkler head was given to Harry S. Parmelee. 1877, The two moons of Mars were discovered by Asaph Hall, an American astronomer. He named them Phobos and Deimos. 1896, Harvey Hubbell received a patent for the electric light bulb socket with a pull-chain. 1909, The American ship Arapahoe became the first to ever use the SOS distress signal off the coast of Cape Hatteras, NC. 1924, Newsreel pictures were taken of U.S. presidential candidates for the first time. 1934, Alcatraz, in San Francisco Bay, received federal prisoners for the first time. 1941, The Atlantic Charter was signed by U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt and British Prime Minister Winston Churchill. 1942, During World War II, Pierre Laval publicly announced "the hour of liberation for France is the hour when Germany wins the war." 1945, The Allies informed Japan that they would determine Emperor Hirohito's future status after Japan's surrender. 1951, The first major league baseball game to be televised in color was broadcast. The Brooklyn Dodgers defeated the Boston Braves 8-1. 1954, Seven years of fighting came to an end in Indochina. A formal peace was in place for the French and the Communist Vietminh. 1962, Andrian Nikolayev, of the Soviet Union, was launched on a 94-hour flight. He was the third Russian to go into space. 1965, The U.S. conducted a second launch of "Surveyor-SD 2" for a landing on the Moon surface test. 1975, The U.S. vetoed the proposed admission of North and South Vietnam to the United Nations. The Security Counsel had already refused to consider South Korea's application. 1984, U.S. President Ronald Reagan was preparing for his weekly radio broadcast when, during testing of the microphone, the President said of the Soviet Union, "My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you that I just signed legislation that would outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." 1990, Egyptian and Moroccan troops joined U.S. forces in Saudia Arabia to help protect from a possible Iraqi attack. 1991, The space shuttle Atlantis ended its nine-day journey by landing safely. 1992, In Bloomington, MN, the Mall of America opened. It was the largest shopping mall in the United States. 1994, A U.S. federal jury awarded $286.8 million to about 10,000 commercial fishermen for losses as a result of the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill. 1995, All U.S. nuclear tests were banned by President Clinton. 1997, U.S. President Clinton made the first use of the line- item veto approved by Congress, rejecting three items in spending and tax bills. 1998, British Petroleum became No. 3 among oil companies with the $49 billion purchase of Amoco. It was the largest foreign takeover of a U.S. company. 2002, US Airways announced that it had filed for bankruptcy. 2002, Jason Priestly crashed his car during practice for a race in the Infiniti Pro Series. He suffered a spinal fracture, a moderate concussion, a broken nose, facial lacerations and broken bones in both feet. 2003, Charles Taylor, President of Liberia, flew into exile after ceding power to his vice president, Moses Blah. 2003, In Kabul, NATO took command of the 5,000-strong peacekeeping force in Afghanistan. 2023, Do smiled.
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