Good Morning, Do, Today is Thursday, June 1 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Sex assault case comes to light after girl caught watching porn in school Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 1 in 1944 Siesta was abolished by the government of Mexico. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ When you have the courage to tell the truth about what you're really afraid of, fear doesn't have control over your life. --- Ali Vincent ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it was considerably longer than normal. Later, at the door, shaking hands with parishioners as they moved out, one man said, "Your sermon, Pastor, was simply wonderful - so invigorating and inspiring and refreshing." The minister of course, broke out in a big smile, only to hear the man say, "Boy, I felt like a new man when I woke up!" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000. The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6 per 100,000. That means that you are 25% more likely to be shot and killed in the US Capitol than if you are in Iraq. That does not include other violent forms of death. Conclusion: Pulling out of Washington, DC should be given at least 25% higher priority than pulling out of Iraq. (My numbers may need updating!) ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Garay, 31, San Antonio, Texas Sex assault case comes to light after girl caught watching porn in school A Southwest Bexar County man is facing charges of continuous sexual assault of a child after the case came to light in an unusual way. The alleged victim, a nine-year-old girl, told it all after she was caught watching pornography in school, according to an arrest warrant affidavit. Anthony Garay, 31, was arrested Tuesday as the result of an investigation by the Bexar County Sheriff's Office. The affidavit said a teacher confronted the girl May 17 after she noticed her watching pornography on a school-issued iPad the previous day. The girl responded saying that a friend was helping her search the internet for more information on what Garay had been doing to her, the affidavit said. School officials reported the allegations to the sheriff's office and investigators questioned the child. The affidavit said that she told them Garay had been performing sex acts on her since she was seven or eight years old, and continued until that week. She also said that he had done the same thing to her sister. The court document also said that Garay had been under investigation by Child Protective Services in the past regarding allegations of sexual assault involving the same two children. However, it did not disclose what the outcome of that investigation was. Garay`s father has been on the run since he was sentenced to serve ten years for identical charges. There was no mention of the girl`s parents. Maybe they are on the run too. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alene Re: Web Mail or POP mail Dear Webby What is the difference between Web Mail and POP mail? Alene Dear Alene Traditional POP mail is stored at your local dial-up or high speed Internet provider and you pull it down to your computer with an email program that sits on your computer. Web Mail sits on a web server somewhere, often half a world away from you, and you use a mail program that is on that server to work on your mail. You save what you want to keep onto your computer. Web mail is more flexible and you can check your mail from any cyber cafe or friends place or from work, without having to install a mail program first. Some people prefer good old POP style email, just like some people prefer Diesel engines over Gasoline. Both types work well, and it just a matter of personal preferences. Some types of email providers use a mix of the two. For example Gmail is basically a Web Mail, but you can set it in the settings to act like POP mail and to forward the cleaned mail to your POP address at your own domain or your local ISP. Gmail is excellent for doing the rough primary spam cleaning of your mail. What is then forwarded to your domain or ISP based mail just needs just some final fine-tooth cleaning with MailWasher. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Dianne for these Out Of Office messages: 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 3. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from holiday on 4 April. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message. 5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over). 6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. 7. I've run away to join a different circus. 8. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ' Margaret' instead of 'Jay'. 9. I am currently out of the office. Well, not really. But with the amount of mail I get, this is the only way to deal with it. You can interprete my quick and timely response to your question as a "Definite Maybe". 10. I am currently attending a midlle management seminar on office safety. Come and join us! It's at Joe's Bar and Grill down the street. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com This is slightly cleaned up from Shakespearean days: A well-dressed business man was walking down the street when a rough-looking little kid stopped him and asked, "Sir, can you tell me the time?" The gentleman carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said, "It is a quarter to three, young man." "Thanks," said the boy. "At exactly three o'clock you can kiss my butt!" With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry, the outraged businessman started chasing him. He had not been running long when an old friend stopped him. "Why are you running to like a maniac?" asked the friend. Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said, "That little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was quarter to three he told me that at exactly three, I could kiss his butt!" "So what's your hurry," said the friend, looking at his own watch. "You still have twelve minutes." ____________________________________________________ >From Mia One day while driving with my 4-year-old daughter I beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at me for an explanation. I said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, 'cause you didn't yell '@#$%^& BIMBO!' afterward!" ___________________________________________________ | | A very brave woman who is finally getting the recognition she deserves. Too bad she didn't get it while she was alive. |
>From Brent My girlfriend Tricia called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!" I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?" There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by, "I will murder you, if you tell anybody about this!" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
A Pastor was called to a local nursing home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The pastor sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?" The old man replied, "Nope." "Is she a good Christian woman?" "I don't know for sure," the old man answered. "Does she have lots of money?" asked the pastor. "I doubt it." "Then why are you marrying her?" the preacher asked. "Cause she can drive at night," the old man said. ____________________________________________________ | Today, on June 1 1533 Anne Boleyn, Henry VIIIs new queen, was crowned. 1774 The British government ordered the Port of Boston closed. That did not go over well at all. 1861 The first skirmish of the U.S. Civil War took place at the Fairfax Court House, Virginia. 1869 Thomas Edison received a patent for his electric voting machine. It was never used. 1877 U.S. troops were authorized to pursue bandits into Mexico. 1892 The General Electric Company (GE) began operations after the merging of the Edison General Electric and the Thomson- Houston Electric companies. 1896 In Paris, France, the first recorded automobile theft occurred. The Peugeot of Baron de Zuylen de Nyevelt was stolen by his mechanic. 1915 Germany conducted the first zeppelin air raid over England. 1916 The National Defense Act increased the strength of the U.S. National Guard by 450,000 men. 1921 A race riot erupted in Tulsa, OKlahoma. 85 people were killed. 1935 The Ingersoll-Waterbury Company reported that it had produced 2.5 million Mickey Mouse watches during its 2-year association with Disney. 1938 Baseball helmets were worn for the first time. 1939 The Douglas DC-4 made its first passenger flight from Chicago to New York. 1941 The German Army completed the capture of Crete as the Allied evacuation ended. 1942 The U.S. began sending Lend-Lease materials to the Soviet Union. 1943 During World War II, Germans shot down a civilian flight from Lisbon to London. 1944 The French resistance was warned by a coded message from the British that the D-Day invasion was imminent. 1944 Siesta was abolished by the government of Mexico. 1954 In the Peanuts comic strip, Linus' security blanket made its debut. 1958 Charles de Gaulle became the premier of France. 1958 IBM ended its design of machines that contained electronic tubes. 1961 Radio listeners in New York, California, and Illinois were introduced to FM multiplex stereo broadcasting. A year later the FCC made this a standard. 1963 Governor George Wallace vowed to defy an injunction that ordered the integration of the University of Alabama. 1970 Zimbabwe came into existence. It was formerly known as Rhodesia. 1972 In Iraq, The Ba'athist government nationalized the western-owned Iraq Petroleum Company and turned operations over to the Iraq National Oil Company. 1977 The Soviet Union formally charged Jewish human rights activist Anatoly Shcharansky with treason. He was imprisoned until 1986. 1978 The U.S. reported the finding of wiretaps in the American embassy in Moscow. 1979 In the U.S., the government-controlled ceiling on oil prices ends. The control was phased out over 28 months. 1980 Cable News Network (CNN) made its debut as the first all- news station. 1989 Disney World's "Typhoon Lagoon" opened. 1995 At Disneyland Paris, the attraction "Space Mountain: From The Earth to the Moon" opened. 1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved a urine-only test for the AIDS virus. 1998 A $124 million suit was brought against Goodyear Tire & Rubber that alleged discrimination towards black workers. 1999 Merrill Lynch chairman David Komansky announced that the firm would soon allow its customers to buy and sell stocks over the Internet. 2008 The Phoenix Mars Lander became the first NASA spacecraft to scoop Martian soil. 2009 General Motors filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy. The filing made GM the largest U.S. industrial company to enter bankruptcy protection. 2017 Do smiled. |
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