Good Morning, Do! Today is Friday, April 16 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ___________________________________________________ If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it! ___________________________________________________ Neighbors grab burglary suspect who attacked Winter Haven homeowner, hold him down until police arrive ___________________________________________________ Today, April 16 in 1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with Britain. ____________________________________________________ Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. --- Josh Billings (1818 - 1885) ____________________________________________________ Do softly recited his nightly prayers while kneeling down. The mother was kneeling down beside. "Say your prayers louder, Do, I can't hear you," said mother. "But I'm not praying to you." was Do's immediate reply. ____________________________________________________ Robert, age eight, was the son of strict Presbyterian parents. He was very, very good, worked hard at school, did his chores, and was generally helpful and obedient. But one morning, for some reason, he came down to breakfast in a very nasty mood. When his mother served him prunes, he snarled, "I don't want prunes," and he refused to eat them. His parents were aghast, and his father said, "Robert, you know that Lord commanded children to honor and obey their parents, and He will punish those who do not." But Robert still refused and was angrily sent back to bed, and the prunes were put in the refrigerator. A few minutes later, a terrible thunderstorm came up with great roars of thunder and flashes of lightning. "Ah, wonderful," said Robert's mother, "this will teach him a lesson." To their great surprise though, Robert came to the top of the stairs and called down: "Sounds like God doesn't want you to make such a fuss about some silly prunes!" ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams. "I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream." "I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life." His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two women, and you didn't call me?" "Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, you'd gone fishing." ____________________________________________________ Reported by Rock An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dominique Rashad Rogers, 26, Winter Haven. Florida, USA Neighbors grab burglary suspect who attacked Winter Haven homeowner, hold him down until police arrive Neighbors rushed to help a Winter Haven homeowner who had been attacked by an alleged burglar, holding down the suspect until police arrived. Winter Haven police said the homeowner was inside his house on Palm Lane around 5:15 p.m. on Tuesday. That's when investigators said 26-year-old Dominique Rashad Rogers walked into the home uninvited and immediately attacked the homeowner, grabbing him by the torso. As the two struggled and fell on the floor, another person inside the home ran to a neighbor's house, frantically yelling for help. RELATED: Hit-and-run driver's sentence includes 50 hours of service at trauma hospital While the neighbor called 911, the homeowner managed to break free from Rogers and went to grab his gun. Rogers ran outside the house, where neighbors grabbed the suspect and held him down until officers arrived. The homeowner suffered minor injuries and was treated by paramedics on scene. No one else was injured during the incident. Police arrested Rogers and charged him with two felonies: burglary with battery, and burglary of an occupied structure. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Rolf Re: Diff between JPG and GIF Dear Webby What is the real difference between JPG and GIF pictures? Rolf Dear Rolf GIF is an older style, not as fine as JPG. However, GIF does have a few features, that are not normally avalable with JPG, for example animations. The major drawback with GIF is that pictures are realtively coarse, and stay coarse even if you later save them in JPG format. A bonus for GIF is that the pictures are stable. They don't deteriorate further, lik JPG pictures do with each saving. If you have to do a lot of editing on the same picture, save it in PNG format, or PSD. Those do not deterirate with each saving. Have FUN! DearWebby A Japanese book publisher created an English edition of their book about sports rules, never running the translation by a native English speaker. After selling about 700,000 copies and getting about that many complaints, they came to understand that the book title ''Love Sports'' was somewhat misleading. The book has now been renamed to ''We Love Sports.'' | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | If you like my work,
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_____________________________________________ "Lizzie," asked Jill thoughtfully one day, "what would you do if you caught another woman in bed with your husband?" "With Phil?" Lizzie thought it over. "Let's see....... I'd break her cane, shoot her guide dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from." ____________________________________________ After a heart-transplant operation, the patient was receiving instructions from his doctor. He was placed on a strict diet, denied alcohol and advised to get at least four hours' sleep a night. Finally, the patient asked: "What about my sex life, Doc? Will it be all right for me to have intercourse?" "Just with your wife," responded the doctor. We don't want you to get too excited for a while." ____________________________________________ A woman goes into a meat market and asks the butcher why his porkchops are 99 cents a pound when the guy across the street is selling his for 89 cents? The butcher says: "Well then, why don't you go over there and buy his?" The lady customer says: "He doesn't have any." The butcher says: "Well thats nothing, when I don't have any, I sell mine for 79 cents." ____________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, April 16 in 0069 Otho committed suicide after being defeated by Vitellius' troops at Bedriacum. 1065 Norman Robert Guiscard took Bari. Five centuries of Byzantine rule in southern Italy ended. 1175 Frederick I, Holy Roman Emperor, signed the Treaty of Montebello with the Lombard League. 1705 Queen Anne of England knighted Isaac Newton. 1746 The Duke of Cumberland defeated Bonnie Prince Charlie (and his Jacobites) at the battle of Culloden. 1818 The U.S. Senate ratified Rush-Bagot amendment to form an unarmed U.S.-Canada border. 1851 A lighthouse was swept away in a gale at Minots Ledge, MA. 1854 San Salvador was destroyed by an earthquake. 1862 Confederate President Jefferson Davis approved conscription act for white males between 18 and 35. 1862 In the U.S., slavery was abolished by law in the District of Columbia. 1883 Paul Kruger became president of the South African Republic. 1900 The first book of postage stamps was issued. The two-cent stamps were available in books of 12, 24 and 48 stamps. 1905 Andrew Carnegie donated $10,000,000 of personal money to set up the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement of Teaching. 1912 Harriet Quimby became the first woman to fly across the English Channel. 1917 Vladimir Ilyich Lenin returned to Russia to start Bolshevik Revolution after years of exile. 1922 Annie Oakley shot 100 clay targets in a row, to set a women's record. 1922 The Soviet Union and Germany signed the Treaty of Rapallo under which Germany recognized the Soviet Union and diplomatic and trade relations were restored. 1935 "Fibber McGee and Molly" premiered. 1942 The Island of Malta was awarded the George Cross in recognition for heroism under constant German air attack. 1943 In Basel, Switzerland, chemist Albert Hoffman accidently discovered the the hallucinogenic effects of LSD-25 while working on the medicinal value of lysergic acid. 1944 The destroyer USS Laffey survived immense damage from attacks by 22 Japanese aircraft off Okinawa. 1945 American troops entered Nuremberg, Germany. 1947 The Zoomar lens, invented by Dr. Frank Back, was demonstrated in New York City. It was the first lens to exhibit zooming effects. 1947 In Texas City, TX, the French ship Grandcamp, carrying ammonium nitrate fertilizer, caught fire and blew up. The explosions and resulting fires killed 576 people. 1948 In Paris, the Organization for European Economic Co- operation was set up. 1951 75 people were killed when the British submarine Affray sank in the English Channel. 1953 The British royal yacht Britannia was launched. 1962 Walter Cronkite began anchoring "The CBS Evening News". 1968 The Pentagon announced that troops would begin coming home from Vietnam. 1972 Apollo 16 blasted off on a voyage to the moon. It was the fifth manned moon landing. 1972 Two giants pandas arrived in the U.S. from China. 1975 The Khmer Rouge Rebels won control of Cambodia after five years of civil war. They renamed the country Kampuchea and began a reign of terror. 1978 In Orissa, India, 180 people died when a tornado hit. 1982 Queen Elizabeth proclaimed Canada's new constitution in effect. The act severed the last colonial links with Britain. 1983 China shelled the Vietnam border in retaliation for raids. 1983 Brazil detained four Libyan planes en route to Nicaragua after finding weapons, explosives and ammunition on the planes. 1987 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) sternly warned U.S. radio stations to watch the use of indecent language on the airwaves. 1987 The U.S. Patent Office began allowing the patenting of new animals created by genetic engineering. 1992 Italian financier Carlo de Benedetti and 32 others were convicted of fraud in connection with the 1982 collapse of Banco Ambrosiano. 1992 The House ethics committee listed 303 current and former lawmakers who had overdrawn their House bank accounts. 1995 The European Union and Canada agreed to protect threatened fish stocks in the north Atlantic. 1996 Britain's Prince Andrew and his wife, Sarah, the Duchess of York, announced that they were in the process of getting a divorce. 1996 An Italian court found former Prime Minister Bettino Craxi guilty on charges of corruption. He was sentenced to eight years and three months in prison. 1999 Wayne Gretzky announced his retirement from the National Hockey League (NHL). 2002 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned major parts of a 1996 child pornography law based on rights to free speech. 2007 In Blacksburg, VA, a student killed 33 people at Virginia Tech before killing himself. 2021 Do smiled. |
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