Good Morning, Do, Today is Monday, January 15 Have FUN! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Man pulled over took 30 seconds to wake up Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, January 15 in 2001 Wikipedia was launched. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ Time is that quality of nature which keeps events from happening all at once. Lately it doesn't seem to be working. --- Socratex Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. --- Aldous Huxley ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A friend, driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn't have a cell phone or CB radio in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance. A Coast Guard officer responded, "Please give your location." "I'm on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish." The officer paused, "Could you repeat that?" "I-75, two miles south of Standish." A longer pause. Then an incredulous voice asked, "How fast were you going when you hit shore?" ____________________________________________________ A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!" The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use that kind of language in the Lord's House. The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!" The preacher said, "No shit?" _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ Judi was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I'm half-way to the nut hatch." "What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," her friend said. So Judi bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going. "Superb! I can't believe it," Judi said. "I get in that pen with my laptop and a thermos of coffee, and the kids don't bother me one bit!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Moonhoon Choi, 36, Jacksonville, Florida Man pulled over took 30 seconds to wake up St. Johns County officials arrested Moonhoon Choi, 36, of Wisconsin, on Jan. 8 for drunk driving on U.S. 1 just South off Race Track Rd. with a breath alcohol test of 0.198. Responding to numerous complaints, officials found Choi asleep in the driver's seat of his car, parked in the right lane of U.S. 1 while traffic was free-flowing. After about 30 seconds of banging on the window to wake him up, Choi tried to drive forward, nearly hitting a PSA vehicle. Officers managed to stop the car, and Choi stepped out of the vehicle. An officer asked Choi where he was coming from, and Choi responded "Jacksonville." He then asked where he was headed and Choi responded "Jacksonville". Choi reportedly had the odor of alcohol emanating from his person, and claimed he "had a couple of beers" and that he and his friend were coming from the "brewery". Officers then asked Choi to do a few Field Sobriety tests, which he agreed to, and was unable to properly follow instructions. On at least three separate attempts he moved his head left and right instead of his eyes, he was unable to stay heel-to-toe on the line during the walk and turn test, and he was unable to do a one-leg stand without bending his knee or stepping down. Choi was arrested for operating a motor vehicle under the influence of alcohol. Choi's passenger, Changhyun Ahn, was also under the influence and, due to his inebriation, was unable to be left on the roadside without risking injury to himself or others. Unable to contact anyone they knew, police took Ahn to the county jail and placed him into protective custody. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marcy Re: Deleting individual cookies Dear Webby, Thank you for the information. Now for the stupid question ~How do I clear just that cookie? I have used a computer for about 7 years, but I really don't have much knowledge of how to do things unless someone tells me. I If you have the time, could you please tell me how to remove just one or two cookies? Thank you~ Marcy Dear Marcy The easiest way to sort out and clean your cookies is with CrapCleaner. In case you are one of the very few subscribers who have not gotten CrapCleaner yet, go to my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools and grab it. It's free! In CrapCleaner go to OPTIONS, COOKIES and drag the keepers (bank, Amazon, Barns&Noble, etc) to the right, and the ones you don't need to the left. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft. A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician. "I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that." The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!" Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her, squeezed a bit here and there, and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 10-month old nephew. I said, "What do I do if he cries?" She said "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapeno is not his favorite. ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Melanie's Greatest Ever Granola Mix: 1 cup of whole wheat flour, 4 cups of quick oatmeal, 1 cup of slivered almonds, 1 cup of coconut and 1/2 cup of brown sugar. Stir well, then add: 1/2 cup oil and 1/2 cup of honey. Directions: Combine it all well breaking up clumps then place on large cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees F till golden brown. Use a spatula a few times and stir it around now and then. Can add raisins or dried fruit when done. Store in air tight container when cool. Great for breakfast with milk as a cereal or you can use in a granola bar recipe. By Melanie Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Morris went to his lawyer Birnbaum and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," Morris replied. "Okay, then write him a nasty letter asking him for the $1000 he owes you," said the lawyer Birnbaum. "But it's only $500," Morris insisted. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will then have the proof we need to nail him." | | The World s Steepest Cliff Railway Just Opened in the Swiss Alps |
I look forward to the "Dear Webby's Humor Letter" every day. I enjoy the clean jokes, great tips, good thoughts/sayings, lots of valuable information. Plus, I don't have to worry about the grandchildren reading this e-mail. Keep up the good work Nellie ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
____________________________________________________ | Today, January 15, in 1559 England's Queen Elizabeth I (Elizabeth Tudor) was crowned in Westminster Abbey. 1624 Many riots occurred in Mexico when it was announced that all churches were to be closed. 1863 "The Boston Morning Journal" became the first paper in the U.S. to be published on wood pulp paper. 1870 A cartoon by Thomas Nast titled "A Live Jackass Kicking a Dead Lion" appeared in "Harper's Weekly." The cartoon used the donkey to symbolize the Democratic Party for the first time. 1892 "Triangle" magazine in Springfield, MA, published the rules for a brand new game. The original rules involved attaching a peach baskets to a suspended board. It is now known as basketball. 1899 Edwin Markham's poem, "The Man With a Hoe," was published for the first time. 1913 The first telephone line between Berlin and New York was inaugurated. 1936 The first, all glass, windowless building was completed in Toledo, OH. The building was the new home of the Owens-Illinois Glass Company Laboratory. 1943 The Pentagon was dedicated as the world's largest office building just outside Washington, DC, in Arlington, VA. The structure covers 34 acres of land and has 17 miles of corridors. 1945 CBS Radio debuted "House Party". The show was on the air for 22 years. 1953 Harry S Truman became the first U.S. President to use radio and television to give his farewell as he left office. 1955 The first solar-heated, radiation-cooled house was built by Raymond Bliss in Tucson, AZ. 1967 The first National Football League Super Bowl was played. The Green Bay Packers defeated the Kansas City Chiefs of the American Football League. The final score was 35-10. 1973 U.S. President Nixon announced the suspension of all U.S. offensive action in North Vietnam. 1974 "Happy Days" premiered on ABC-TV. 1987 Paramount Home Video reported that it would place a commercial at the front of one of its video releases for the first time. It was a 30-second Diet Pepsi ad at the beginning of "Top Gun." 2001 Wikipedia was launched. 2003 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the U.S. Congress had permission to repeatedly extend copyright protection. 2006 NASA's Stardust space probe mission was completed when it's sample return capsule returned to Earth with comet dust from comet Wild 2. 2018 Do smiled. |
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