| Good Morning, Do! Today is Fiday, June 23 Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! ____________________________________________________ History: today, June 23 in 1868, Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." ___________________________________________ Bonehead Herd of child molesters arrested in Chandler, AZ ___________________________________________________ Q I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself. --- Marlene Dietrich (1901 - 1992) We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to. --- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965) ___________________________________________________ Our parish priest was making a visit to my nephew's home. He knocked on the door, and the little 4-year-old boy went to the door and saw the priest. He called to his dad, "Hey, Dad! That guy that works for God is here!" ____________________________________ A couple came to the police department, wanting to dispose of some ammunition. They handed the desk officer a wooden box and said that it contained two shells an uncle had given them as souvenirs from World War II. "We didn't know what to do with them," the woman explained. "So all these years, we've kept the shells in the bottom drawer of the china cabinet, away from our children." The officer assured the couple he'd dispose of the ammunition safely. But when he took one out of the box the top came off, revealing a strange black substance. His suspicions aroused, the officer removed the top of the other shell and found a hard white substance. There was no doubt about it. They were souvenir salt and pepper shakers. _____________________________________________________ >From Wilbur My wife and I get along just great, except that she's a backseat driver second to none. On my way home from work one day, I heard my cell phone ring as I merged onto a freeway bypass. It was my wife. By chance, she had entered the bypass right behind me. "Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put on your lights. It's starting to rain." ____________________________________________________ "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me two examples?" "Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car, and your boobs." ___________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ___________________________________________________ Great Snowy Owl ___________________________________________________ Sally had three very active boys. One summer evening she was playing cops and robbers in the back yard after dinner. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead." She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day". ________________________________________________ Abe was well known for his cheapness and his 'eye for a bargain'. One day he was looking for a cheap wedding present for his niece, so he went into a thrift shop. As he was walking around, he noticed what was previously an expensive glass crystal vase lying in the corner. It was in 3 pieces. After some haggling with the owner, Abe bought the broken vase for $5. He then filled in the congratulations card, wrote out his niece's name and address and gave the owner another $3 so that the broken vase could be gift wrapped and mailed. Abe then left the shop feeling quite pleased with himself. He expected his niece to think the vase had broken in the mail. A few days later, he called his niece to see if the present had arrived. "Yes, Uncle Abe, but unfortunately, it was in 3 pieces when it was delivered." "What terrible luck." said Abe, "The Post Office is getting worse all the time." "It's really a shame," she replied. "It was so beautifully wrapped. Each piece separately." ___________________________________________________ A Bonehead award has been reported by Rock Herd of Child Molesters, CHANDLER, Arizona, USA Herd of child molesters arrested in Chandler, AZ A 2-day operation targeting online child predators ended with the arrests of 13 people, the Chandler Police Department said. On May 18 and 19, Chandler Police as well as several other law enforcement agencies, targeted people online who were "seeking to engage in illicit sexual activities with children in the city of Chandler and adjoining cities." In all, 13 people were arrested and are accused of a total of 30 sex-related felony crimes. Chandler Police say drugs and guns were also seized during the operation. The suspects, according to Chandler PD, are: Enrique Taylor Jr. Wyatt Roanhorse Abdiel Hernandez Marc Anthony Martinez Clayton Carpenter Mahon Aaron Joseph Wayne Bancroft Warren Locks Jr. Emilio Gurule Thomas Coppola Martin Vargas Acosta Gerson Edgardo-Perdomo Caceres Unidentified suspect The Chandler Police Department conducted a multi-agency operation targeting online predators, making 13 arrests for 30 sex-related felony crimes. They say they still have lots of space and will have more news next week. ___________________________________________________ A man approaches a beautiful woman, and says, "Want a little company?" And the woman says, "Why? Do you have one to sell?" __________________________________________________ A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?" An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too." ___________________________________________________ Zion ___________________________________________________ The man said, "Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, running around at all hours of the night and more. "She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music and how to invest in the stock market." "Sounds like you may be bitter because she spent so much time trying to change you," the man's lawyer suggested. "I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me." ___________________________________________________ DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Morris From: Dianne RE: Deleted files Dear Webby, Some people pointed out that just deleting files is not enough and that they could be recovered. Dianne Dear Dianne That is almost true. If time and money are no object, then a data recovery lab may possibly restore fragments and pieces of your deleted files, unless you did a defrag in the meantime since you dumped them out of the recycle bin. However, unless you build nuclear bombs in the basement again or are a terrorist, or a politician, nobody is going to pay for having your deleted and dumped files restored. Don't worry about them. Have FUN! DearWebby __________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the humor letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,please donate a dollar, or two, if you can afford it! Please, help me stay online! __________________________________________________ History Today June 23, in 1683, William Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni Lenape Indians in Pennsylvania. 1700, Russia gave up its Black Sea fleet as part of a truce with the Ottoman Empire. 1758, British and Hanoverian armies defeated the French at Krefeld in Germany. 1760, The Austrians defeated the Prussians at Landshut, Germany. 1757, Robert Clive defeated the Indians at Plassey and won control of Bengal. 1836, The U.S. Congress approved the Deposit Act, which contained a provision for turning over surplus federal revenue to the states. 1848, A bloody insurrection of workers in Paris erupted. 1865, Confederate General Stand Watie, who was also a Cherokee chief, surrendered the last sizable Confederate army at Fort Towson, in the Oklahoma Territory. 1868, Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." 1884, A Chinese Army defeated the French at Bacle, Indochina. 1902, Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy renewed the Triple Alliance for a 12 year duration. 1904, The first American motorboat race got underway on the Hudson River in New York. 1926, The first lip reading tournament in America was held in Philadelphia, PA. 1931, Wiley Post and Harold Gatty took off from New York on the first round-the-world flight in a single-engine plane. 1934, Italy gained the right to colonize Albania after defeating the country. 1938, The Civil Aeronautics Authority was established. 1938, Marineland opened near St. Augustine, Florida. 1947, The U.S. Senate joined the House in overriding President Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act. 1951, Soviet U.N. delegate Jacob Malik proposed cease-fire discussions in the Korean War. 1952, The U.S. Air Force bombed power plants on Yalu River, Korea. 1956, Gamal Abdel Nasser was elected president of Egypt. 1964, Henry Cabot Lodge resigned as the U.S. envoy to Vietnam and was succeeded by Maxwell Taylor. 1966, Civil Rights marchers in Mississippi were dispersed by tear gas. 1972, U.S. President Nixon and White House chief of staff H.R. Haldeman discussed a plan to use the CIA to obstruct the FBI's Watergate investigation. 2003, Apple Computer Inc. unveiled the new Power Mac desktop computer. 2004, The U.S. proposed that North Korea agree to a series of nuclear disarmament measures over a three-month period in exchange for economic benefits. 2013, In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a quarter mile tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River Gorge. 2015, NASA's Mars Odyssey completed its 60,000th orbit around Mars. The spacecraft entered orbit on October 23, 2001. 2015, Verizon announced it had completed its $4.4 billion purchase of AOL, Inc. 2017, In Los Angeles, CA, the Wilshire Grand Center opened. It opened as the tallest building west of the Mississippi at 1,100 feet. 2023, Do smiled.
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