Good Morning, Do, Today is Saturday, November 11 Have Fun! Dearwebby Todays Bonehead Award: Florida woman caught attacking bouncer using 12-pack of beer as weapon Bonehead ______________________________________________________ Today, November 11 in 1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the United States. See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
______________________________________________________ I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it. --- Rita Mae Brown ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Man to Ticket Agent: I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald. Ticket Agent, Searching Book: Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map. Just where is Norwald, anyway? Man: Over there. He's my brother-in-law. _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ At a PTA Meeting it was explained to the parents how the sex education classes would proceed and what the overall content would be. The Principal advised the parents to closely follow-up with their children, especially to see if they had any questions. That night, one parent decided to put it into action. He called his older son into the study and requested that he instruct his younger brother about the "birds and the bees" talk he gave to his son two years ago; thinking to spare himself the ordeal all over again. The boy agreed and called in his younger brother. "Hey Herman," he said, "Want to know something ?" "What ?" the younger lad asked. "You know how a man and a woman get together when they want to have kids ?" "Yeah, so?" "Well...dad wants me to tell you that birds and bees and flowers do the same thing." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! _____________________________________________________ One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.' Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her. The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?" A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel right now!" _____________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Casey Lynn Willey, 27, Gainesville, Florida Florida woman caught attacking bouncer using 12-pack of beer as weapon Casey Lynn Willey, 27, was being removed from the Gainesville, Florida, nightclub Eight Seconds by a bouncer when she allegedly struck him with the case of beer, according to the Alligator. Willey was being removed from the club because she refused to leave after the country music nightclub had closed after 3 a.m. Authorities handcuffed her, but she tried to escape while police conducted an investigation. She also refused to give her name or date of birth, and was violent toward officers, according to a report obtained by the Alligator. Willey eventually gave authorities the information they needed before aggressively stepping toward an officer. The bouncer did not wish to press charges. Willey was arrested, charged with disorderly conduct and taken to Alachua County Jail. _________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: George J Re: Default picture viewer Dear Webby, Is there any way I can get the Windows Picture and FAX Viewer to open images automatically instead of Microsoft Photo Editor when I click on Photos and Images? I can right click on the thumbnail and then choose the program, but that is an extra step and I want it automatic on left click! George J Dear George While I would not use either of those programs myself, I use PSP, there is a way that you can tell Windows what program to use by default. Click on START, Control Panel Folder Options File Types In there find the icons for GIF, JPG, etc highlight them and click on CHANGE then select the Windows Picture and Fax viewer. Do that for all picture formats that you want to open automatically with that program. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Connie for this story: My husband's grandmother passed away and for many months afterwards my father-in-law made repeated phone calls to attempt to stop companies from sending mail to the house for his deceased mother. In frustration, he finally went to the post office and filled out a change of address card, changing her address to the Jefferson Memorial Park where she was laid to rest. It worked! No more mailings came to the house. | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
You've probably heard of "deja vu," the feeling of having previously experienced a situation that is happening now. Here are some related expressions Feel like I've... ...milked this cow before: deja moo ...seen this strange animal before: deja gnu ...smelled this bad odor before: deja phew ...visited this menagerie before: deja zoo ...scared this person away before: deja boo ...read this mystery book before: deja clue ...been in this courtroom before: deja sue ...felt this bad before: deja rue ...felt this sad before: deja blue ...expanded this way before: deja grew ...seen this slime before: deja goo ...learned this stuff before: deja knew ...waited in this line before: deja queue ...eaten this dinner before: deja stew ...pursued this person before: deja woo ...forgotten your name before: deja who ...had this feeling of deja vu before: deja too ...seen these twins before: deja two ...used this beer recipe before: deja brew ...been on this airplane before: deja flew ...came up with this innovation before: deja new ...fed these pigeons before: deja coo ...sketched this portrait before: deja drew ...ended this relationship before: deja through ...felt this ill before: deja flu ...sheared this sheep before: deja ewe ...munched on this gum ball before: deja chew ...sat through this sermon before: deja pew ...played in this wet grass before: deja dew ...admired this scenery before: deja ooo ...lost it under the bed before: deja shoo ____________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Protecting Your Home When Traveling When you are on vacation, your home is most susceptible to burglary. One trick to create the illusion that you are home is to put a few lights on a timer. Individual timers can be found at the hardware store. Program the individual lights to turn on for a while each night. It's also a good idea to have someone visit your house every couple days to make sure mail, newspapers, or packages aren't piling up. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________ Just came across this from a 2006 Humor Letter: Kudos go to Scotland's lawmakers The "Serious Organized Crime and Police Act 2005" in Scotland gives police the authority to seize and crush the cars of people driving without insurance or without a driver's license. "The region's top police officer said yesterday a "clear message" is being sent to would-be offenders." "Unlicensed and uninsured drivers are a threat to all road users, and we aim to remove that threat by removing their means of transport," said Mr Vine. "In other words, if they have no licence, no insurance, then soon they will have no car." The chief constable said, "There will be no period of grace. The law is the law." -------------- If the US adopted that law, GM and Ford might become profitable again! __________________________________________________ | | Sweden seems to have more vintage 1950s American cars than America. |
"A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you." ---Jay Leno ___________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
Just a quick note to thank you, once again, for the Humour Letter... not a day goes by that I don't get a giggle from it and more importantly learn something new from it. As you know constant learning keeps me young...at this rate I may need a good contact for a play-pen....lol. Ann D. ____________________________________________________ | Today, November 11, in 1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 1868 The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held by the New York Athletic Club. 1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at the Melbourne jail at age 25. 1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers. 1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the United States. 1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany. 1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman. 1921 The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 1940 The Jeep made its debut. 1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France. 1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal. 1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100- story John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine. 1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund. 1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the second largest computer company. 1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million dollars in New York. 1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison. 1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still living in his country voluntarily. 1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was halted later due to local opposition. 1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War. 1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United States. 1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off 10,000 employees. 1997 Roger Clemens (Toronto Blue Jays) became the third major league player to win the Cy Young Award four times. 1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart. 1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the Palestinians. 2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight AIDS in India. 2017 Do smiled. |
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