Good Morning, Do! Today is Thursday, June 18 ___________________________________________________ Today, June 18 in 1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against Great Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions. _____________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: 19-year-old Montgomery woman started a fire Sunday inside a police vehicle ______________________________________________________ | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
_____________________________________________________ I love acting. It is so much more real than life. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) _____________________________________________________ In a physics lab course, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so: "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell silent until one wise young man raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Bud?" _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ "Husband Shopping Centre" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men, for her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor,and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men. First floor, the door had a sign saying "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go. Second floor says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking" Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?" Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework.." Wow! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!? And so again, they go up. Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me. But just think!?!?! What must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they go. The sign on that door said "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping and have a nice day." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Vianney Huerta, 19, Aurora, Illinois, USA 19-year-old Montgomery woman started a fire Sunday inside a police vehicle A 19-year-old Montgomery woman is facing felony charges after prosecutors alleged she set fire to an Elgin police SUV on Sunday night during a protest in Aurora. Vianney Huerta was charged with arson and criminal damage, both felonies, according to Kane County State's Attorney Joe McMahon. Prosecutors allege Huerta started a fire inside an Elgin Police Department vehicle parked in a lot on East New York Street. The Elgin Police Department was one of many agencies called in by local and county officials as peaceful protests Sunday night in Aurora gave way to looting and clashes between police and protesters. Huerta's bail was set at $100,000. She is one of 21 people facing charges in connection with Sunday's protest in Aurora, according to the state's attorney's office. Eleven people have been charged with felonies, McMahon said. Most of the people arrested were from outside the community and some were from street gangs just in for the looting and burning. DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Gloria Re: Online Maps Dear Webby, At one time Google had really good maps, but now it seems they got too greedy. There is all kinds of silly crap and demands for signing up and payments. I most definitely would not recommend them anymore. And Microzofts mapping software is hopelessly out of date, if you can get it started in the first place. They spent Bilions sending planes all over the place to map the entire USA, and then let it all crash. What do you use for maps and directions? Gloria Dear Gloria Yes, I noticed that too, and went back to Mapquest. Google Maps were great in the 90s and early 2000s, but now I too would not recommend them. Good old Mapquest from AOL still works. It is rather crude, and graphics are awful, but you can use it to plan a route to a new shopping center or doctor. Have FUN! DearWebby
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____________________________________________________ | | Driving a car made of ice |
_____________________________________________ "Husband Shopping Centre" was opened where a woman could go to choose from among many men, for her husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men. First floor, the door had a sign saying "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they go. Second floor says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking" Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?" Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!? And so again, they go up. Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me. But just think!?!?! What must be awaiting us further on! So up to the fifth floor they go. The sign on that door said "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping and have a nice day." _____________________________________________ If a man is alone in the forest, and there isn't a woman around, is he still wrong? _____________________________________________ If a man is alone in the forest, and there isn't a woman around, is he still wrong? ____________________________________________ A young man wanted to get his beautiful wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone. The next day she goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says, "how do you like your new phone?" She replies, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though." "What's that, baby?" asks the husband. "How did you know I was at Walmart?" | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today June 18 in 1155 Frederick I Barbarossa was crowned emperor of Rome. 1429 French forces defeated the English at the battle of Patay. The English had been retreating after the siege of Orleans. 1621 The first duel in America took place in the Plymouth Colony in Massachusetts. 1667 The Dutch fleet sailed up the Thames toward London. 1778 Britain evacuated Philadelphia during the U.S. Revolutionary War. 1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against Great Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions. 1815 At the Battle of Waterloo Napoleon was defeated by an international army under the Duke of Wellington. Napoleon abdicated on June 22. 1817 London's Waterloo Bridge opened. The bridge, designed by John Rennie, was built over the River Thames. 1863 J.J. Richardson received a patent for the ratchet wrench. 1873 Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote for a U.S. President. She never paid. 1898 Atlantic City, NJ, opened its Steel Pier. 1915 During World War I, the second battle of Artois ended. 1918 Allied forces on the Western Front began their largest counter-attack against the German army. 1925 The first degree in landscape architecture was granted by Harvard University. 1927 The U.S. Post Office offered a special 10-cent postage stamp for sale. The stamp was of Charles Lindberghs "Spirit of St. Louis." 1936 The first bicycle traffic court was established in Racine, WI. 1942 The U.S. Navy commissioned its first black officer, Harvard University medical student Bernard Whitfield Robinson. 1951 General Vo Nguyen Giap ended his Red River Campaign against the French in Indochina. 1953 Egypt was proclaimed to be a republic with General Neguib as its first president. 1959 The first telecast received from England was broadcast in the U.S. over NBC-TV. 1961 "Gunsmoke" was broadcast for the last time on CBS radio. 1966 Samuel Nabrit became the first African American to serve on the Atomic Energy Commission. 1983 Dr. Sally Ride became the first American woman in space aboard the space shuttle Challenger. 1998 The Walt Disney Co. purchased a 43% stake in the Web search engine company Infoseek Corp. 1999 Walt Disney's "Tarzan" opened. 2000 In Algiers, Algeria, the foreign ministers of Ethiopia and Eritrea signed a preliminary cease-fire accord and agreed to work toward a permanent settlement of their two-year border war. 2009 NASA launched the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter/LCROSS probes to the Moon. It was the first American lunar mission since Lunar Prospector in 1998. 2009 Greenland assumed control over its law enforcement, judicial affairs, and natural resources from the Kingdom of Denmark. Greenlandic became the official language. 2020 Do smiled. |
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