Good Morning, Do! Today is Wednesday, September 25 ____________________________________________________ Today, September 25 in 1956 A transatlantic telephone-cable system began operation between Newfoundland and Scotland. More of today in history at History ______________________________________________________ | If you lcan help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Today's Bonehead Award: Florida woman told the cops about the contents of her "felony purse" _______________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! _______________________________________________ Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) _______________________________________________ Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb. ________________________________________________` Highland Lighthouse (Cape Cod Lighthouse) - North Truro, MA Photographer: Glenn-Allen Wiker ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes! ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacqueline Hubbard, 59, Tampa Bay, Florida Florida woman told the cops about the contents of her "felony purse" During a traffic stop early Sunday, Jacqueline Hubbard did not hesitate to answer when a Florida cop asked if she had any drugs on her person. The 59-year-old Hubbard, who was in the front passenger seat not wearing a seat belt, reportedly told a patrolman that she was in possession of crack cocaine that was stored in what she called her felony purse. The purse, which was around Hubbard's neck, contained two crack rocks, a small baggie of cocaine, and two glass crack pipes, according to arrest affidavits. The contents of the "felony purse" resulted in Hubbard's bust on two criminal charges: possession of drug paraphernalia, a misdemeanor, and possession of a controlled substance, a felony. Pictured above, Hubbard is locked up in the county jail in lieu of $2150 bond. Court filings do not indicate whether her felony purse --or just its contents--was seized as evidence. Hubbard's rap sheet includes convictions for disorderly intoxication; drunk driving; theft; boating under the influence; trespass; cocaine possession; and violating probation. She served about 14 months in state prison on the felony cocaine count. DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Crap Cleaner Hi Dear Webby, your recommendation for using CrapCleaner to speed up an aging snail like speedy laptop is invaluable and did wonders for my slower than slow laptop. My question is what are your thoughts on using CrapCleaner as the default browser vs Edge, Google, Opera, Firefox etc? Thank you for all you do daily for us! Be well, live long, prosper, and Carpe Diem, Walter Dear Walter! Crap cleaner just identifies crap, that is already on your machine's memory. It is not a browser to find stuff on the net. The browsers to find new stuff or to do your banking are still Chrome, Firefox, Opera and Edge. They are all a bit screwey, and you have to be ready to change to a different one, whenever one gets too bad. If you keep your open tabs to a bare minimum, then Chrome works quite well. Have FUN! DearWebby Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. Jason was having a tough day and had stretched himself out on the couch to do a bit of what he thought to be well-deserved complaining and self-pitying. He moaned to his wife, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!" His wife, busily occupied with other things, hardly looked up at and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Jason. Can't be everybody. Some people don't know you." | If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! | |
Do's mother decided that Do should get something 'practical' for the birthday. "Suppose we open a savings account for you?" mother suggested. Do thought that was a fine idea. "It's your account", mother said as they arrived at the bank, "so you fill out the application." Do was doing fine until the space for 'Name of your former bank.' After a slight hesitation, Do put down 'Piggy'. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com font color="#009990"> Don't Apply For Credit Too Often Don't apply for credit if you think you will be denied. Don't try to apply for credit cards too frequently. Submitting too many credit applications in a short period of time can lower your credit score and make it more difficult to get credit when you really need it. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________ | | Dabbling Ducks: Waterfowl ID |
___________________________________________________ >From Judy When my printer's type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop, where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job myself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first." ___________________________________________________ Diet Pills "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient. "I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time." ___________________________________________________ A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies. __________________________________________________ | Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. |
___________________________________________________ | Today, September 25 in 1492 The crew of the Pinta, one of Christopher Columbus' ships, mistakenly thought that they had spotted land. 1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. 1513 The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer Vasco Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of Panama. He named the body of water the South Sea. He was truly just the first European to see the Pacific Ocean. 1775 Ethan Allen was captured by the British during the American Revolutionary War. He was leading the attack on Montreal. 1789 The first U.S. Congress adopted 12 amendments to the Constitution. Ten of the amendments became the Bill of Rights. 1847 During the Mexican-American War, U.S. forces led by General Zachary Taylor captured Monterrey Mexico. 1890 The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S. National Park in Central California. 1890 Mormon President Wilford Woodruff issued a Manifesto in which the practice of polygamy was renounced. 1919 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson collapsed after a speech in Pueblo, CO. The speaking tour was in support of the Treaty of Versailles. 1956 A transatlantic telephone-cable system began operation between Newfoundland and Scotland. 1957 300 U.S. Army troops stood guard as nine black students were escorted to class at Central High School in Little Rock, AR. The children had been forced to withdraw 2 days earlier because of unruly white mobs. 1973 The three crewmen of Skylab II landed in the Pacific Ocean after being on the U.S. space laboratory for 59 days. 1978 Melissa Ludtke, a writer for "Sports Illustrated", filed a suit in U.S. District Court. The result was that Major League Baseball could not bar female writers from the locker room after the game. 1981 Sandra Day O'Connor became the first female justice of the U.S. Supreme Court when she was sworn in as the 102nd justice. She had been nominated the previous July by U.S. President Ronald Reagan. 1983 A Soviet military officer, Stanislav Petrov, averted a potential worldwide nuclear war. He declared a false alarm after a U.S. attack was detected by a Soviet early warning system. It was later discovered the alarms had been set off when the satellite warning system mistakenly interpreted sunlight reflections off clouds as the presence of enemy missiles. 1986 An 1894-S Barber Head dime was bought for $83,000 at a coin auction in California. It is one of a dozen that exist. 1987 The booty collected from the Wydah, which sunk off Cape Cod in 1717, was auctioned off. The worth was around $400 million. 1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose an air embargo against Iraq. Cuba was the only dissenting vote. 1991 The U.N. Security Council unanimously ordered a worldwide arms embargo against Yugoslavia and all of its warring factions. 1992 In Orlando, FL, a judge ruled in favor of 12-year-old Gregory Kingsley. He had sought a divorce from his biological parents. 1992 The Mars Observer blasted off on a mission that cost $980 million. The probe has not been heard from since it reached Mars in August of 1993. 1997 NBC sportscaster Marv Albert pled guilty to assault and battery of a lover. He was fired from NBC within hours. 2001 Michael Jordan announced that he would return to the NBA as a player for the Washington Wizards. Jordan became the president of basketball operations for the team on January 19, 2000. 2002 U.S. forces landed in Ivory Coast to aid in the rescue foreigners trapped in a school by fighting between government troops and rebel troops. Rebels had attempted to take over the government on September 19. 2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service. 2019 Do smiled. |
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