Humor: Copying a web page L

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LARGE FONT VERSION Subscribe | Unsubscribe The large font section has been split off into a separate newsletter. Click on Subscribe to subscribe to it. To write to me: [email protected] Good Morning, ! Today is Thursday, May 14 ___________________________________________________ Today, May 14 in 1973 Skylab One was launched into orbit around Earth as the first U.S. manned space station. ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award: Florida mother targeted adopted son with cruel acts of abuse for years ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. --- Jeff Valdez __________________________________________ Johnny had just received his brand new drivers license. The family goes out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the new driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says boy. "Nope, I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat while you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years." __________________________________________ Lilly Agnes, Punk groundhog at Burnt Lake, AB __________________________________________ A user was all confused about why the cursor always moved in the opposite direction from the movement of the mouse. She also complained that the buttons were difficult to depress. She was very embarrassed when I asked her to rotate the mouse so the tail pointed away from her. ___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Patricia Hyler, 47, Pace, Florida Mother adopted boy, made him wear dog chain and cracked his teeth with pliers A mother was arrested after she allegedly subjected her adopted son to a list of horrific abuse that included chipping his teeth with pliers and forcing him to wear a dog chain. Patricia Hyler is accused of torturing the 14- year-old boy for years in Pace, Florida by beating him, cutting him and making him sleep on a dirty concrete floor. Police said Hyler also made the boy take a bath by stripping him naked in the front yard and spraying him with a hose. The extent of the alleged abuse shocked Rosa County Sheriff Bob Johnson who told the Miami Herald that Hylers case was one of the worst he has ever seen in his 38-year career. Ill be honest with you, as a father it pisses me off, is what it does, Johnson said at a press conference on Monday. Somebody that can do that to another human is bad enough. But you start doing that to a child, yeah, we take it personally. We really do. Hyler reportedly had four adopted children. Johnson said evidence suggests she abused them all, but took a special interest in the 14- year-old who had been living with her and her husband for more than seven years. She abused this child pretty severely, but she took him out of school and home-schooled him for two years because she knew that if she sent him to school, obviously, somebody would report it. So she kept him at home, Johnson said. Police reportedly began investigating Hyler after one of her adopted children texted another person about the abuse and that person contacted authorities. Hyler was arrested on May 8 and charged with aggravated child abuse, although Johnson said he is expecting further charges. He added that he does not expect Hylers spouse to be charged. I dont know how you fix something like that. When you do something to a child, that is so horrendous, Johnson said. Around the same time, law enforcement also spoke to witnesses who described the most recent incident that led to Hyler's arrest. In that case, Hyler became angry at the boy for "not finishing his chores in the time frame she had set for him," the report stated. She reportedly yelled at him in the kitchen, took him into a bathroom and began "slashing" at him with a kitchen knife. She cut his arms and hands, causing him to lean over the bathtub because he was bleeding. Hyler then struck the back of his head with a knife, causing the knife be momentarily stuck in his head, before calling him a "stupid bastard" and saying it was his fault she had stabbed him, the report stated. The abuse allegations came to light after one of Hyler's adopted children texted a witness about the abuse and that witness subsequently contacted authorities. The sheriff said at Monday's press conference that Hyler took the boy out of school and home schooled him for two years "because she knew that if she sent him to school, obviously, somebody would report it." According to her arrest report, when DCF conducted a welfare check on the adopted children at one point, Hyler told the kids that if they were ever removed from her care due to reported abuses, "she would find them and kill them." DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Cindy Re: Copying a web page Dear Webby I want to copy a web page with a recipe to send to mom. She has a laser printer and could print it for me. How do I do that? Cindy Dear Cindy Browse to that page, hit CTRL S in TYPE, move down to Web Page Complete Type in a short and memorable name, if necessary, and hit OK. That is all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ____________________________________________________ Biggest Fast Food Chains in the World 1971 - 2019 _____________________________________________ A FEW FACTS ABOUT WOMEN Women love to shop. It is the one area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control. Women especially love a bargain. The question of "need" is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game. Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand." Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them. Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty. Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say. Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful. Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man *wants* to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need. Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved. Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people. Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip. Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling. Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an "on/off" switch. Women think all beer is the same. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. _____________________________________________ ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. _____________________________________________ The wise never marry. and when they marry they become otherwise. ____________________________________________ Cocktail Party An affair where a mans gets stiff, a woman gets tight, and they return home to find that neither is either. Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. ___________________________________________________ Today May 14 in 1264 King Henry III was captured by his brother in law Simon deMontfort at the Battle of Lewes in France. 1509 In the Battle of Agnadello, French defeated Venitians in Northern Italy. 1610 French King Henri IV (Henri de Navarre) was assassinated by a fanatical monk, Franois Ravillac. 1643 Louis XIV became King of France at age 4 upon the death of his father, Louis XIII. 1787 Delegates began gathering in Philadelphia for a convention to draw up the U.S. Constitution. 1796 The first smallpox vaccination was given by Edward Jenner. 1804 William Clark set off the famous expedition from Camp Dubois. A few days later, in St. Louis, Meriwether Lewis joined the group. The group was known as the "Corps of Discovery." 1811 Paraguay gained independence from Spain. 1853 Gail Borden applied for a patent for condensed milk. 1862 The chronograph was patented by Adolphe Nicole. 1878 The name Vaseline was registered by Robert A. Chesebrough. 1879 Thomas Edison incorporated the Edison Telephone Company of Europe. 1897 "The Stars and Stripes Forever" by John Phillip Sousa was performed for the first time. It was at a ceremony where a statue of George Washington was unveiled. 1897 Guglielmo Marconi made the first communication by wireless telegraph. 1913 The Rockefeller Foundation was created by John D. Rockefeller with a gift of $100,000,000. 1935 The Philippines ratified an independence agreement. 1940 The Netherlands cheerfully surrendered to Nazi Germany, because they brought hard currency, work, and food. 1942 The Women's Auxiliary Army Corps (WAAC) was established by an act of the U.S. Congress. 1942 The British, while retreating from Burma, reached India. 1948 Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion proclaimed the independent State of Israel, as British rule in Palestine came to an end. 1955 The Warsaw Pact, a Eastern European mutual-defense treaty, was signed in Poland by eight communist block countries, including the Soviet Union. 1961 A bus carrying Freedom Riders was bombed and burned in Alabama. 1969 Jacqueline Susanns second novel, "The Love Machine," was published by Simon and Schuster. 1973 Skylab One was launched into orbit around Earth as the first U.S. manned space station. 1975 U.S. forces raided the Cambodian island of Koh Tang and recaptured the American merchant ship Mayaguez. All 40 crew members were released safely by Cambodia. About 40 U.S. servicemen were killed in the military operation. 1980 U.S. President Carter inaugurated the Department of Health and Human Services. 1985 Ray Kroc's first McDonald's restaurant became the first fast-food business museum. It is located in Des Plaines, Illinois. 1988 In the Andean village of Cayara, Peru's military was involved in a massacre of at least 26 peasants. 1992 Former Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev addressed members of the U.S. Congress, appealing to them to pass a bill to aid the people of the former Soviet Union. 1996 A tornado hit 80 villages in nothern Bangladesh. More than 440 people were killed. 1998 The Associated Press marked its 150th anniversary. 1999 North Korea returned the remains of six U.S. soldiers that had been killed during the Korean War. 2020 , that's all for today. Have FUN ! 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